It would be wrong for me to say that I don’t care about him. For the longest time I did.

I didn’t really believe him when he told me that he’d summoned a God. I thought my best friend had lost his senses, doomed himself to his emotions after losing his father to a horrible illness.

Right now, as I stand here, the nausea is overwhelming. My heart feels like it’s being forced outside my chest. I throw up. The magic in the air mocks my weakness as the entity towering above us makes a disgusted look. 

And as I look to him for help all I see is ecstasy in his eyes…and a thin golden thread of his soul.

It’s entangled in mine.

“Yin-ah! You going lah?”

Mum’s voice calls from the kitchen just as I’m about to enter the doorway. “I’ll go, I’ll go! I just got back with the parts. You wanted me to fix the computer, Ma!”

There’s a sudden clatter of utensils and the sound of a cat screaming like a siren.

“Milko, stop it!” I rush into the kitchen to see the black scruffy bugger who broke the computer keyboard, clambering up Mum’s leg in an attempt to knock a spoon out of her hand.

“Boy, you going to that Sika’s flat, no?” She clumsily yanks Milko off her foot. “Take cat with you please.”

“I’m going, I’m going. He called the landline this morning. I’ll be good if I get there by three. Anyway, it’s probably just another discussion to help him figure out how to cope.” I sit down and begin to replace the broken keys. Milko, distracted from the spoon, makes an eager attempt to yank them out again. “Stop ya bugger.” I lift him by the scruff and put him on my shoulders, where he finally settles. The keyboard is fixed and working. “I’ll be back in time for dinner this time around…probably.”

Mum gives me a look.

“Why’re you looking at me like that?”

“Ey Yin, you sure you are going just for ‘discussion’? You not going to fool around in river backside or steal Shaman’s stick again to make her angry?”

“Mumma! I’m twenty-eight. That’s all stuff of the past.”

“No age for fun, lah.” She ruffles my hair and grins.

“You know I’m not interested in that anymore. Plus, he’s grieving. He didn’t sound so great when he called.”

She nods with a sigh. “Sika likes you. I see in his eyes. Right now you his support, lah.” She puts her weight on my shoulder to balance herself for a second. Her limbs tremble, I can feel the bones of her fingers resting on me. Mum’s always been a bit frail, but recently her illness has been getting worse. It shows in her face. I’m worried about her health.

“Yin-ah, am fine.”

It’s as if she reads my mind.

“You be careful outside.” She pats my head. I adjust my expression. “I will.”

“Ah if you see those…things outside, don’t go help, lah. I know Yin-ah likes to be very helpful.”

Things? Oh the ‘spirits’. The Head Shaman, Jaha, says that they’re bad energy that come from the ‘Darkness’, or whatever that means. Those who see them, won’t know it, for they are ‘almost human, but not quite’. I’ve only ever seen one when I was seventeen. Back then, Mum consulted Jaha for a cure to seeing spirits. She had used all her savings for the poor excuse of a cure that they forced on me. Then when it didn’t work, they called me mad. I refused to believe I was. Everyone here says that seeing spirits is a curse of madness. If you see them, it means you have lost your mind, and have touched the ‘Darkness’.

I’d be mad not to save the money for mum’s treatment.

“Yin-ah?”

“Huh?”

“Don’t worry about money.”

“…How do you always know what I’m thinking…”

“I your mother. You my baby.”

I smile, wrapping my arms around her to give her a gentle hug. Words like these…they make me remember that I’m wanted.

“What curry you want? Cabbage is getting spoilt…”

“Cabbage curry then. Three days in a row won’t hurt.” I catch her limping a bit. “Don’t overstrain, Ma.”

“Yesyesyes.” She shoos me away with a gesture and turns just before disappearing into the kitchen, “Take pickle for Sika. And be careful of those…things!”

“Okayy.” I grab the bottle off the counter, and pat Milko, who is still comfortably perched on my shoulders. The weather looks good. I want to get to Sika’s place soon.

Milko trots near my feet, tail up in the air as he looks around. It’s around autumn now so the streets are a maple-toned runway for little buggers like him. Perhaps the most genuine of catwalks I’ve ever seen, he walks fashionably on the red leaves, making sure to stomp on every yellow one. The fresh air doesn’t ease the weight of Sika’s call on my mind.

“Dude, I need your help. Come over soon… I can’t take it much longer. I need you.”

It’s not new to hear it. He’s said it many, many times. But this…my gut is telling me that it’s not as simple as I thought it was.

“Shh, don’t look, it’s that cursed man…”

“But he’s got a nice kitty!”

I smile at the child who runs up to me. His father is sheepishly tugging on the boy’s scarf, a few steps away.

“You want to pet him?” I summon Milko with a quick gesture and he walks up to the child drearily. The father is hesitant, but lets his son pet Milko, who obliges ever so graciously, giving me a stinky face in return. I know he doesn’t like being pet by strangers and is doing this to ease the older man.

“You’re mother, uh–Tsang. It’s better to–”

“She’s fine. I will not visit Jaha for mother’s treatment again. Thank you for your concern.”

The man shakes his head and clutches a set of prayer beads close to his heart, lifting up his child. “Let’s go, son…this man, he’s mad.”

Milko returns to my side as I kneel down. He hops up my shoulder and meows. “I know.” Treatment in the city is expensive, but I know it works. Here, the townsfolk believe in the ‘magic’ of mystics, rather than in medicine. It has its uses, but it cannot cure my mother. Not after what they did to ‘cure’ me.

But, I wouldn't say the people here aren’t good people. Money can’t buy you much sympathy here, but kindness fetches quite a high price. It’s how I’ve come to improve my reputation from ‘mad man’ to ‘mad man who has a nice kitty on his head’. I was incredibly lucky to study in the city, where I met Sika in college. So despite my education, my so-called ‘madness’ has earned me all sorts of odd jobs. Those who want the dirty work done, and don’t want to be seen doing it…those sort of jobs. It doesn’t matter if a madman was seen digging up a grave or buying a gun. He’s mad.

Milko suddenly jumps off my shoulder and makes a run for it. “Oi!” 

Scrambling to my feet I charge after him, dashing down the path to the outskirts of town. “Milko come back!” What’s gotten into him now?! This should’ve been just a regular autumn walk! Quick, simple, leisurely. I was to haggle for some medication in the city, head to Sika’s and return for dinner. Peacefully!

That was the plan.

But plans change.