Becca

(11 months ago)

The way my day begins is often the best predictor of how it’s going to end. So, when I woke this morning cocooned under layers of blankets because my small space heater had conked out overnight, I knew it was destined to be a rough one. This is perhaps why the big red ‘C’ atop my latest AP Statistics test didn’t surprise me, nor did the fluorescent yellow note stuck to it, that read: Mr. Blair would like to see you in his office at 2 pm today.

Now, just because I said I wasn’t surprised, doesn’t mean I’m not freaking out. In fact, since receiving that note, I’ve endured a good three hours and twenty-seven minutes… no, make that twenty-eight minutes of sheer torture in the land of “Oh crap! Oh crap! Oh crap!” Sitting here, watching the clock sluggishly tick by while waiting for the receptionist to utter the infamous last words “he’s ready for you,” is doing nothing but fanning the flames of my own personal hell.

“Hey, pretty girl. What are you doing here?”

Oh no, no, no! The fact that Shane Montgomery is here at the precise moment my life teeters on the brink of collapse can only mean one thing.

“I have a meeting with Mr. Blair,” I respond, purposely averting my gaze to steer clear of that infuriatingly charming smile of his I hate so much. Afraid to know for sure, but unable to help myself, I ask, “And you?”

“Same,” he replies, shifting in his seat. After several seconds, he pushes for the answer I’m not ready to give him. “Now, why do you think we’ve both been summoned to his office at the same time? Is there something you’re not telling me, pretty girl?”

“For the umpteenth time, stop calling me that,” I deflect, chastising myself for the annoying tingles that stir in my belly every time he uses that irritating nickname.

“Why? You like it.”

“I do not.” And that’s when I realize my mistake. He was baiting me, hoping I would look at him, something I make a conscious effort to avoid.

“There she is,” he ensnares me with his signature smile, and now I can’t look away. “Tell me the truth, pretty girl. What are you keeping from me?”

My mouth opens and closes a few times as I attempt to formulate a response to his question. The way he’s looking at me scrambles my brain rendering it impossible to piece a coherent thought together. Thankfully I’m put out of my misery when Mrs Wilson interrupts us.

“Miss. Franks, Mr. Montgomery, go on back. He’s ready for you.”

In an instant, my stomach sinks. The realization that the fate of my future hangs in the balance, to be determined by a man who never supported my taking on the challenge in the first place, doesn’t bode well for me. Neither does the fact that I’ve deliberately avoided asking my unlikely ally for his help.

“Have a seat.” Mr. Blair commands from behind his desk, his eyes fixed on his computer screen as his fingers glide across the keyboard. When he stops, he clasps his hands on his desk, his expression darkening into a scowl as he locks eyes with me. Under the weight of his scrutinizing stare, I look away.

“Mr. Blair, good to see you. How can we help you today?” Shane thankfully interjects, diverting his attention away from me.

“Well, that all depends on Miss Franks here.” When his icy glare returns to me, the boulder crushing my chest gets exponentially heavier. “Becca, you came into my office on the first day of school and requested a schedule change. Do you remember that?”

Of course, I remember it. I’m not a complete idiot. Despite feeling offended and furious about his condescending tone, I bite my tongue to keep myself from making things worse. As his pause stretches longer than necessary, I realize the stupid jerk won’t proceed until I acknowledge his perceived superiority.

“Yes, I remember.”

“Good. What about you Mr. Montgomery? Do you recall how I was against these changes until you came in to plead her case? Remember how you offered to take full responsibility for her success as her peer advisor?”

“Sir…” Shane responds. It’s neither a confirmation nor a denial, mirroring the typical response only the rich and powerful of this town are allowed to get away with.

“So my question to you both is: why did two of her teachers reach out to me this week, expressing concerns over her latest performance on two exams?”

As if the weight of Mr. Blair’s scrutinizing stare wasn’t enough, when Shane turns to me with disappointment evident in his soulful brown eyes, my shoulders slump under the weight. He’s hurt. I can see just as plainly as I can feel it, like a physical sensation in the very center of my chest. The fact that I didn’t seek his help, despite his offer, had nothing to do with him but with my need to handle my problems on my own. If only I had the courage to explain it to him.

As my eyes burn with shame and frustration, I look away from them both. Focusing on my lap, I swallow back the emotion, determined to keep it together until after my shift tonight. Only then will I allow myself to fall apart.

“You’re right to be upset, Mr. Blair. I’m very sorry, and if you afford me the chance, I promise to do better.” It’s all I have. An empty promise that I’ll continue to dig deep to find a way to do what right now feels impossible. I hate failure. Despise it to the point I’ve learned over time how to push myself beyond my limits. But that was before. When there was a safety net to provide me with basic necessities like food and shelter. Now that I’m on my own, things are different, and I’m quickly learning I can only push myself so much.

“I’m afraid that’s not good enough, Miss. Franks,” he glares at me for a moment before turning his ire toward where Shane sits slumped in his chair. “And you Mr. Montgomery. I’ve had enough conversations with your father to know how he’d feel if your tenure as a Peer Advisor were to be terminated. Are you no longer interested in the role?”

“I am, sir,” Shane sits up in his seat. “Since the start of the school year, Miss. Franks and I have been meeting weekly to discuss her progress. When we spoke last week, she failed to mention she was struggling, so I’m just as surprised as you are.”

“That’s not going to cut it either, Mr. Montgomery. At this point, I’m giving both of you until the end of the marking period, which ends in four weeks, to ensure she gets her scores up. And by up, I mean nothing less than an ‘A’ in each of her six AP classes. If she’s not able to do that, regardless of the reason, I will pull her from the classes where she doesn’t have an ‘A’, and you, Mr. Montgomery, will be faced with the prospect of informing your father that your participation in the Peer Advisor Program has been terminated. Do I make myself clear?”

Like the air has been sucked out of the room, I’m unable to move, let alone acknowledge the threat that’s been issued. Shane too must be caught under the same spell, for in a loud voice, Mr. Blair repeats, “Are we clear?”

“Yes, sir,” Shane answers, while all I’m able to do is nod. It’s one thing to bear the responsibility for my failures, but it’s a whole other matter knowing Shane is unfairly being punished for something I’ve done.

By the time we make it out of the main office, school has been dismissed for the day. That the hallways are empty of students is a small mercy, given I’m a hair’s breadth away from breaking into tears.

How could I’ve let this happen?

Before I get the chance to answer my question, Shane is pulling me into the first empty classroom he finds. After pushing me inside, he shuts the door behind him, but instead of turning to face me, I watch as his shoulders rise and fall like he’s focused on his breathing. When he finally turns around, it’s not anger that I see; it’s a sad kind of resignation. At the sight, the ache in my chest deepens, prompting me to soothe the pain away with my hand.

“Why?”

“I’m sorry, Shane,” I respond, swallowing past the lump in my throat.

“I know you’re sorry, pretty girl. It’s written all over your face. What I need to know is why?”

“I-I could make a thousand excuses, but it comes down to one thing. I need to get better at prioritizing my time. Making sure I balance work and my assignments…”

“That is not what I meant, and you know it,” he interrupts me, his voice more forceful than I’ve ever heard it. “I asked you why, Becca.” The way the tone of his voice shifts to sound more like a plea makes my eyes well up with emotion. For reasons I can’t explain, I hate that I’ve disappointed him.

“Look Shane, I’m sorry I didn’t come to you, but I need you to understand. I’m used to doing things on my own. I don’t like depending on other people because nine times out of ten it only leads to disappointment. At least if I screw up, it’s on me, but when it’s someone else who doesn’t come through for me, in the end, it’s still me who is left holding the bag.”

“You’ve hardly taken the time to get to know me, Becca.” When, for the second time, he utters my real name, the ache in my chest intensifies. “So what makes you think I wouldn’t have come through for you?”

“I don’t know, Shane!” Exasperated that he’s pushing me like this, I spread my arms wide to prove I don’t have an answer. At least not one he’ll be happy to hear. “Maybe because I’ve yet to meet someone who has. Plus, look at you. You’re a fricken Montgomery. Why in the world would I expect anything from you?”

Like I’ve slapped him, he takes a step back, then runs both his hands over his face. After a frustrated sigh, he meets my gaze and declares, “You will call out of work tonight…”

“I can’t…” I try to interrupt, to no avail. 

“I said, you will call out tonight because from now on we’re not meeting at the diner, where you hide behind your job to avoid me. From here on out, we’ll meet at your apartment every Wednesday starting today. Expect me right after practice. Plan for 6:30.”

“Wait, you don’t understand,” I plead.

“No. You don’t understand! I went out on a limb for you. I’ve spent the past four months going out of my way to meet with you every week, not only to help you reach your goals but because I like you. I want more Becca. Hell, at this point, I’d be thrilled if you’d let your guard down long enough to let me be your friend. I thought we were getting somewhere. I was willing to wait for as long as it took, but with Mr. Blair breathing down my neck and the threat of what my father will do if I get kicked out of the program…” he scoffs, turning away and walking back toward the door.

When he reaches it, he pauses for a breath, then without turning to look at me, he says, “You’ve left me no choice. If I can’t trust you to come to me, then I’ll have to force you to let me help you. You’re not the only one whose future is on the line if you fail. Try to remember that.”

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Author’s Note:

In case you haven't noticed, Shane is head over heels in love with Miss Franks, who on most days refuses to acknowledge him. You'll understand why that is as the story moves forward. 

For now, I'd love to hear your thoughts. What do you think about Becca and Shane so far?

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