Doujinshi = Self-published works in Japan. When it comes to mangas this usually refers to either fan-made mangas (fan fiction) or original work made by amateur or professional mangaka (manga artists) that isn't published through a mainstream publisher. Doujinshi aren't as easy to get your hands on, though with the internet and scanlation groups these days, it's a lot easier. I like doujinshi because it allows me to read stories that aren't just mainstream, and they can go a little weird sometimes. I tend to look them up for fan fiction about my favourite characters. Usually doujinshi features things that wouldn't show up in the manga or anime but that a lot of us fans would enjoy reading about, like more explicit scenes or just wish fulfilment type love stories of certain characters in the story that aren't actually together.

I'm surrounded by people who really don't seem to care what I wear or look like. It's strange but also makes me feel at ease. They're friendly, if sometimes a little too touchy-feely and coming too close, and that still makes me a little nervous, I just don't really know why. Maybe because I'm not used to it.

We nearly didn't make it on time to the cosplay panel as Izzy and I kept getting asked to pose for pictures and hugs and stuff like that. It was fun but also kind of made getting here a little harder.

After sitting with them for a while, I seem to get used to them more and just their general banter and interacting starts to feel comforting. Even Mya seems to get on really well with Evelyn, who seems to watch the same type of anime and read the same type of manga, all ones I don't really enjoy. I'm not into the whole guy on guy and slash and stuff like that. It's just not for me, though... that doesn't mean that I've not enjoyed my fair share of doujinshi, it just tends to feature male and female or two female characters together.

Izzy is paying very close attention to the people giving the panel, listening to everything that they're saying.

I carefully bump my shoulder into hers and she looks at me, blinking a moment. "Don't you already know all this stuff?" She's been the contest winner two years in a row, isn't this old news to her?

Izzy shrugs a little. "I always learn something new. There's always something I don't know yet." Her eyes flit to the front of the room and then she looks at me again. "I'm studying fashion, so I often need to design new outfits. Even if I'm not going to be using something for a cosplay, I regularly find that I'm using these ideas for other things I design for my classes."

"Fashion?" I hadn't expected that.

"Yeah." She smiles. "It works together well with designing cosplay and I get to spend even more time making clothes. I also sell dresses and other things I make." Her eyes start to shine as she talks about this.

"Cool. I'm very boring with me studying English Literature." I shrug a little.

"Nah." Izzy shakes her head. "You have to do what you're good at or what you like. I'm just good at making dresses and other clothes."

"I agree." I purposefully look her up and down. "You're really good at it."

Izzy blushes a little. "Thanks?" She smiles. "Oh, they're talking about props. Gotta pay attention to this." She flashes me a quick smile again and then focuses on the front of the room. She's definitely interesting, even just to watch.

I listen to the panel, though I don't know how much I find that's useful for me. That may be because they had the almost exact same panel last year or because there is someone more interesting right next to me.

Either, or. Both?

***

I find Izzy, Evelyn and Mya sitting at the front of the room during the fan fiction panel, and I just got back from signing up for the cosplay competition.

Between the row being too long at first and then getting distracted, I still hadn't done that and I don't want to miss out. With Izzy to compete against, I don't know if I'll even make a chance, but that doesn't mean I shouldn't at least try.

Jason and the other guy, Ruby, are standing at the side. The room is really full, I don't know why exactly, but it's fuller than it was during the cosplay making panel earlier.

"Hi." I stand a little awkwardly with the other two. "Anything interesting?"

Jason leans over a little. "The guy on the far side of the table, the furthest away from us, he draws like... boy love stuff, and he also writes fanfic. So there have been a couple of people very interested in listening to him." He raises his eyebrows as he looks at Izzy, Evelyn and Mya, and then I also spot Kevin on Mya's other side.

Right. "Meeting a famous person then?" I grin as I look at them.

"Yeah. Sort of." Ruby laughs quietly. "This always happens, you always lose one or two people to one of the panels." He checks his phone. "Hey, wanna go sit somewhere? This is going to take at least another half an hour, and my legs are getting tired."

"Sounds good." Jason nods.

"Yeah." It's not like I can join Izzy and Mya at the front, and just standing here, in my heels, it's going to be a long panel that way.

Ruby walks back to the door, quietly leaving, and we follow him.

"Any preference for where to go?" He turns around, looking at us.

"Somewhere we can sit." Jason laughs. "There's a bar thing just around the corner here. We can try there." He eyes us both and then starts walking.

The bar-thing, really just a maid cafe setup, is luckily not as busy as I'd expected it to be and there are a couple of free tables around.

We sit down at one of the tables at the edge and as soon as we're seated, both Jason and Ruby take off their shoes under the table.

"Way better." Ruby grins, letting out a satisfied sigh.

I shake my head, smiling, quickly slipping out of my own heels. They're right though, this does feel a lot better, especially since the day is going to be very long. It's just past two in the afternoon, but while the main event closes at seven, there is a ball tonight, so we've got a long day ahead of us still.

"Hey." Jason looks my way, a little more serious than I've seen him before.

"Yeah?"

He licks his lips a few times. "Izzy is going to kick my ass if she hears about this, but whatever." He takes a deep breath. "Don't hurt her. Don't do something stupid. Yeah?"

Independent Izzy, yeah, I can see her kick his ass for talking about her like this. "Why are you telling me that?"

"Because you haven't kept your eyes off her since you first saw her." He raises an eyebrow, like he's challenging me to deny it.

"Maybe. But that doesn't have to mean anything. She's cool, and sweet, and funny." I shrug, he's not wrong. "Lots of people look at her."

"Lots of people don't get to hold her hand." Ruby looks around and holds his hand up. One of the maids comes over. "Can we have a green tea, a..." He looks my way.

"Milk tea." I smile at the maid.

"And a..." Ruby looks at Jason.

"Also a green tea, thanks." Jason smiles too.

"Two green tea and a milk tea, coming up." The maid bows and walks off again.

"Anyway." Ruby looks at me. "She doesn't let a lot of people close. So don't hurt her."

They're acting like I'm some stupid prick who would hurt some sweet girl over nothing. I'm not sure if I should be annoyed or seriously offended by now.

"We're not trying to be mean, or trying to keep you away from her." Jason shakes his head. "Like we even could with Izzy. We're just asking to be careful with her. She's..." He licks his lips again, looking at his hands and then at Ruby before he looks at me. "She's been through a lot."

Ruby also nods, his eyes serious. "Life hasn't always been easy on her. She's been better lately, but it's not always like that."

I look at them both. Are they going to give me more details instead of just this cryptic stuff? "And this is so important for me, why?" Like life is easy for anyone.

"Because once Izzy decides someone is their friend... You'll get dragged into the experience that is Izzy's life." Jason lets out a short laugh.

"True. Very true." Ruby nods. "And what an experience that is. Hey." He frowns at Jason now. "Did she fix the skirt for you this morning? Or isn't this your outfit for tomorrow?"

"Oh, no. She fixed it. Hence us being later than planned this morning. I've got a different outfit for tomorrow. Decided on something else at the last minute." His eyes sparkle with joy.

"You going to share what it is?" Ruby raises an eyebrow at him.

Apparently the whole discussion about being careful around Izzy is over now. Just as well.

"Nope. You'll have to see tomorrow. Izzy and I came up with a cool idea together." Jason leans back a little as the maid comes back with our drinks.

"One green tea, a milk tea and another green tea." She puts the cups down in front of us. "You want to pay now or later?"

I look around at the others, but Ruby grabs his card out of somewhere. "I'll pay for all three of us. I'd like to pay by card."

"You don't have—" I almost stand up but Ruby holds out his hand to me.

"It's just a drink, don't worry. We're all friends here." He stands up.

The maid looks a little amused at us. "If you'd like to follow me. You can pay by card at the front."

"I'll be right back." Ruby winks at us as he follows the girl. I can just about hear him complement her on her outfit as they walk off and she giggles.

As I sit back down, I realise something else. I don't even have my wallet with me. Mya has my wallet. I couldn't even have paid. Ugh.

"What is it?" Jason laughs.

"Mya has my wallet. I only have my phone on me, not my wallet." I let out a groan. "I couldn't even have paid."

Jason laughs louder now. "Ah, yeah. That complicates things. You don't have pockets in the skirt or otherwise on the dress?"

I shake my head. "Never done them before. This is my first..." I take a deep breath. "This is my first dress I've made." There, I've said it. That's why I'm still a little uncomfortable dressed like this. It's my first time.

"Ah. Yeah. You should talk to Izzy about that. She'll teach you how to hide pockets in a cosplay outfit." Then he looks a little more serious. "Is this your first time crossdressing, or just crossplaying?"

"First time crossplaying. I've crossdressed for a while. Just..."

"Usually not outside where people know you?"

I nod. "Not usually. Mya knows, but nobody else really knows."

"Don't worry. Honestly, as long as you like it, what's the harm?" He smiles. "I've been doing it since I was... I don't know, before puberty hit." He grins. "Long time."

"Yeah. I've never had the courage before. I don't know. It's scary." I run my hands over my dress, they're getting sweaty from nerves now.

"It can be. But, don't worry here. Lots of people really don't care. That's the best part."

"I know. It's just in my head." I shrug. Lots of things are in my head. As per usual.

Ruby comes back, carrying three cupcakes with him. "I do hope you're not allergic or have an aversion to sweets, do you?" He looks at me.

I shake my head. "Nope."

"Good." He puts one of them in front of me, then one in front of Jason and then he sits down. "They looked too good to pass up."

"They do look really good, yes." I nod, picking it up. It also smells really sweet and it makes me realise that we haven't actually had lunch or anything.

I take a bite, savouring the sweet and sugary goodness. Oh, this is definitely good.

Time passes quickly as we're talking sweets, food, dresses and other things that come to mind. Jason and Ruby are pretty cool guys, and they're easy to become friends with.

Until there are quick footsteps and Izzy is standing next to me, her hand on my arm.

"Come. Come. We need to get to the competition. They're about to start lining everyone up!" Her eyes sparkle and she's grinning broadly. "Come on."