Canon = Official story content created by the creators of the story. Sometimes there is a difference between the original manga or light novel and the anime adaptation of it and depending on the creator's account of it, it could be canon (for example a sweet scene in the anime that didn't show up in the previous work but still adds to the story) or it could not be canon (for example when it's just material to make the anime longer but doesn't add anything, also called filler). Fans can get really enthusiastic about something being canon or not.

I don't know if it was the best choice to make. To ask Izzy to take things slowly, to try and make this work, one tiny step at a time. I have no idea if this is going to work out for us, but seeing her upset like before, watching her flee and hide away. I hated it and this seemed like the better plan. It has to be.

At least she's not crying anymore and that's got to count for something... It has to. Right?

Every kiss from Izzy is so intoxicating that I don't know if I'll ever want to stop. I want to take her in my arms and hide away in a corner, just kissing all day. It's been too long since I felt like this... No. I've never felt like this before, not this intense.

But I know that we've got to go soon. I know that I've got to be a friend to Izzy, well, more something between a friend and a lover. Like... trying to find the right place between the two for us. But I know that I'll have to or all I said was for nothing. And right now, that means that we've got to get back to the others. It means we've got to get back to the rest of the event and be that combination of friends and 'maybe something more, trying something out'.

This is going to be a strange day, but I also know that if I don't want this connection with Izzy to fall apart, we're going to have to figure things out.

I slowly get up, away from Izzy's soft touches. "It's time to go back, people will get worried." Jason will start glaring at me if I keep her too long.

She nods, her eyes losing a little of that spark. "Yeah, I guess we should." She also stands up, straightening up her dress.

"You look great by the way." She does. When I saw her just now, I got a little envious at her skill.

I'll never get as good as her, but I guess that's to be expected. We've all got our own things we're good at and it's unfair to compare myself to her when we're different people and all.

But really, seeing her next to Jason and both dressed like that... I know it's stupid, but I felt a little jealous. I wanted to be the one at her side. I wanted to match her outfit, again. But, instead, the moment she saw me, her eyes changed and she stopped looking happy. I'm the one who made her feel bad... Sigh. I just hope that this way I won't make her look like that anymore, I hate it when she looks like that because of me.

"Thank you." She smiles more. "You don't look too bad yourself."

Though, next to her, my dress pales in comparison... "Thanks." No matter how innocent she may look, she makes my heart beat faster anyway... And I'm pretty sure she knows that she does too. I reach out to her. "Let's enjoy the rest of today."

"Yeah." Her eyes shine and she takes my hand, standing up, fishing her phone from somewhere in her skirt.

Pockets. Of course! "Jason said that you could teach me how to put pockets in dresses and skirts?" Hey, any excuse to see her again after this event ends.

Izzy smiles. "Yeah, I can teach you. It's not that hard." She shrugs a little, sending off a message, then she looks at me. "Jason told you about the pocket thing, didn't he?"

I nod.

She rolls her eyes, still smiling, shaking her head. "He really doesn't know how not to interfere with people's lives." Then she pulls me along, back to the busy areas between the stalls.

It's fun to watch her, to see her back in her element. To see her act like she did yesterday, much more open, much more happy. And she's holding my hand, she's still holding my hand, and that means the world to me.

Maybe it means a little too much to me, but what else can I do with such an amazing and strong-willed girl at my side?

***

The rest of the day is so much easier, and so much happier. We hang out as a group, talking to people from stalls that show up at almost every event and meeting and getting to know new people.

And, of course, there are a lot of people who want to take pictures. Mostly of Izzy and Jason, but also a lot of Izzy and me. Even though I'm just wearing a simple black and white goth dress, with only a single layer of underskirt to make it a little more poofy, but still, people want to take pictures of me too.

I don't know... I guess I'm used to it, it happens all the time when I'm cosplaying guy characters at these events, but I never realised that it would happen this often while I was dressed as a girl too. It feels different, this attention, especially since I'm not fully comfortable dressed like this yet.

At the end of the day, after the end speech, we're all helping Emma pack away her last items from her stall.

"What are you guys going to do for dinner?" Emma looks around at us as she stands between her boxes.

"There is a restaurant around the corner, there will probably be a lot of con people there, but we can see if they've got place for us." Jason shrugs.

"Or we get takeaway from them and eat it somewhere outside." Izzy looks around. "The weather is great, so we're not really dependent on sitting inside. And I really would like to sit outside right now." She grins a little.

"I can't disagree with that." Emma smiles too, wrapping her arm around Izzy's waist and pulling her into a hug. "I've been locked in here all weekend, I could use some fresh air. And it looks like it will be a perfect evening for dinner outside. We can even use the cloth I use as a table runner to sit on, not mess up everyone's clothes." She looks so excited about the idea and Izzy looks so comfortable in her arms, so at ease. It's fun to watch Izzy be like this doll everyone keeps hugging and she seems pretty happy with it too. A new thing I've learned about Izzy, she likes hugging, a lot.

"Outside it is. Let's get these in the car and then get some food. I'm hungry." I stand up, the box at my feet all nicely packed. I look at Izzy, who is now staring my way, a strange look in her eyes. "What is it? Did I tear my dress or something?" I look down at the dress, but can't seem to find an issue with it.

She shakes her head, smiling almost sadly. "No, nothing." Then she turns to Jason. "Can you get me a burger and fries? I... I'll be right back." Her voice is tense, then she looks at me again. "I kind of need to talk to you." Her smile is gone now, and she lets out a sigh.

Jason also looks serious, and that doesn't seem like a good sign.

I open my mouth, but I now can't even think of what to say. Should I ask Jason to also get me something? And what would I want? And with the way Izzy looks... Will I even be coming back here with her?

"We'll wait with ordering until you're back. Go." Emma smiles encouragingly, though she also looks tense, and that really confuses me. What's going on?

"Okay." I go over to Izzy, my stomach in knots. "Where do you want to go?" Because this seems like a serious thing, very serious.

"Let's go outside. Somewhere quiet." She shrugs, not meeting my eyes anymore.

"Izzy, can you at least give me a clue? I'm kind of worried here." I follow her as she uses one of the side doors to get to the parking spaces.

"I don't know how to without... without telling you everything." She glances at me, still tense.

"Not even if it's a good or a bad thing?" Can I get that at least?

She shakes her head, walking away from the building, to an empty patch at the edge of the parking lot. "Good or bad depends on how you..." She's already upset, I hear the tears in her voice, even though she tries to hide them.

Okay, that's even more cryptic than I thought she would be. But I guess I'll have to wait until she tells me.

Izzy looks around, and then promptly sits down on the curb, her shoulders slumping, her arms wrapped around her knees.

I carefully sit down next to her, trying to keep my dress as clean as possible, doing something to distract myself for a moment.

We're quiet for a while, and it only makes me more nervous. "What is it you needed to tell me?"

Izzy flinches a little and I watch emotions go over her face. Fear, pain, anxiety, and then, determination. "Remember when I told you that what you see, who I appear to be, it's not all of who I am?"

Again with that confusing sentence. "Yeah. You said it wasn't the place to talk about what you meant, then." Is she going to tell me now?

She nods. "It wasn't. And I wasn't even sure if I should or even could tell you back then." She looks over the parking lot, the cars passing us by, the other con goers and stall holders leaving after the busy weekend. Everyone looking exhausted.

I wait. I don't know what else to do, and I don't think anything I say will make this easier on her. Because I have no idea what she wants to tell me.

Izzy looks my way, almost reaching out, but she puts both her hands in her lap, stretching her legs. "It's really hard to say this, because I've never actually had to tell someone..." She glances up at my face, and back down to her feet. "I've never had to tell this to someone I like. My biggest fear has always been getting beaten up, not..." She shakes her head, wringing her hands together in her lap.

Getting beaten up? Getting hurt? Why would someone hurt her?

She takes a breath, sitting up straighter. "When I say that what you see isn't all that I am, I mean..." She licks her lips. "I was born a boy." She swallows hard, her hands shaking.

Wait. What? Just... what?

"I was born a boy. But from really young, as soon as I got any say about who I was, I've always lived as a girl." Her voice quiets now, her hands running over each other, still shaking.

I need to process that. I need to process what Izzy just said. Izzy, the beautiful and confident girl in front of me, was born a boy. She...

I don't know what to think. But somewhere in me, I realise that we're similar in some ways, and that if I'm too scared to tell my friends that I like to crossdress sometimes, how scary must it be for Izzy to tell me that she's transgender? That's next level kind of scary.

I now get her fear of being hurt, and I can imagine she's had her fair share of people actually hurting her too. Damnit. My heart breaks a little for her fear and pain.

"Elliot?" Izzy's voice is soft, scared. She's scared for my reply, for how I react to her coming out.

Of course! Crap! "Okay." I nod, trying to form a full thought.

"Okay, what?" There is still the edge of fear in her voice.

"Thank you for telling me. Thank you for trusting me with this." It's like my mouth is saying things as my brain is catching up.

She nods, but her face falls and she's biting her lip, trying to keep her tears inside. "Okay." Her voice is dejected, already teary, and she stands up.

Whoa! No! Not what I was going for.

I stand up too, grabbing her wrist, and she flinches, but I keep holding her. "Izzy..." My brain is a mess, I don't mean to hurt her.

"You don't have to say anything. I get it. It's okay. I could have expected it." She's in pain. She thinks I rejected her.

"It's not like that." I tug on her arm carefully, hoping she'll turn back to me.

"Then what is it like?" Her voice breaks. She shakes her head, but finally turns to me, tears sliding down her cheeks.

I reach up, putting my fingers under her chin, reaching up with the other hand and wiping away her tears. I should have taken some spare napkins with me, or tissues. "I like you. I really like you." I hope she'll believe me. "As I said this morning, let's take things slow. I've never been with a trans girl, but I've also never been with someone who makes me feel as comfortable to be myself as you have. This is all new for me, but... I want to explore things going forward with you."

There are a lot of bits of thoughts running through my head. Like, does this really change how I feel towards Izzy? What would it be like to be with her, physically? How much like a girl is she? And a running thread of, eh?

But most of the questions don't seem so significant as the one thought going over all of it. Izzy is Izzy and the girl I've gotten to know this weekend is the one who makes me feel so happy and myself, and that's more important than anything.

"I've never been with anyone before, ever." She swallows, and there is a spark of hope in her eyes.

I nod, I remember Jason telling me. "We can explore everything together." I lean a little closer, so relieved to still be able to do that. "You're going to have to tell me your boundaries, but..." I shrug. "That's the same for everyone you meet." Everyone has different boundaries, Izzy is no different in that.

She finally smiles a little again.

And, before I do something stupid again... "Last night, when we kissed, what scared you?"

She nods, letting out a breath. Then she reaches up, running her fingers over my light stubble. "Facial hair, it... it messed things up in my head. I hadn't expected how it made me feel." Her voice is careful, but she's also calmer now.

I take her hand, holding it lightly as I put it against my cheek. "Does this scare you? Just be honest, I just want to know."

"A little." Her voice is breathy and her cheeks are turning pink. Her tongue darts out to lick her lips.

"But?" Because something is going through her head.

"Can I kiss you again?" There is that mischievous smile again, and the way she's looking at me, a mixture of relief and interest.

"Of course. Can I hold you?" Because I really want to feel her against me again.

"Yeah." Her smile grows as she wraps her arms around my neck and I slide my arms around her waist, pulling her closer.

Her lips are on mine in moments. Soft kisses, soft and careful kisses, slowly going longer as she gets more confident. She lets go of her reserve, no longer holding back, and I love it. I love how she's feeling a lot easier with herself now.

I never expected Izzy to be a trans girl, that that would be her secret, that that would be the reason she kept freaking out, panicking.

But I'm glad that she told me. I'm so happy that she trusted me enough to tell me.

And I'm so happy that she felt confident enough to let me be the first person to share things with, to explore things.

Now I just have to make sure not to break that trust, now I have to live up to her faith in me.

I hope I can, because I don't want to let her go.