The saddle was well-worn leather with a higher cantle than I was used to. It provided me with comfortable support if I relaxed from the proper upright sitting positions. It had been well used, and the leather creaked pleasantly as I adjusted my seat. The ivy and flower designs in the leather came up to meet in a swirling knot at the swell of the pommel where the horn would have been. 

Like all bridles in Aranthem, there was no bit, simply two rings where the reins connected. The saddle pad was simply black but immeasurably soft and thick under my fingers when I touched it. It felt deliciously expensive, even for Aranthem standards. 

"Have fun testing the set out," Belenus said with a pointed look at the tack master. The man stared at me as if confused why I wasn't riding Isolde away. 

Right, he wouldn't know you can't talk to her, I thought. 

"We'll be right back," I said. At my words, Isolde trotted to the meadow.

I did my best to relax my hands and keep my seat as we went. I hadn't been back up on a horse since the midnight ride.Thankfully, I knew she could sense my anxiety, even if we couldn't communicate. So, I didn't resist her lead and began to find my seat with her cadence. 

"Your gait is amazing," I crooned as she sped up into a canter.  Cadeyrn's powerful run had been wonderful, but Isolde's was much better suited for my body.

The saddle was far more comfortable than the one I'd ridden in on Cadeyrn but also not as stiff and creaky as the saddles my aunt had for her horses growing up. My stirrups did need to be adjusted slightly, as they were too long, but that could be easily fixed later. All in all, I was extremely pleased with the tack she'd chosen, and it seemed Isolde was as well.  When we rejoined the others, Belenus helped me dismount. 

"I like it," I informed him, and by speaking aloud, Isolde. "She has phenomenal taste.” 

"Of course she does," Belenus said. The melted butter of his emotions brushed mine, and I nodded so he could feel my joy and excitement. "I'm glad you're happy." 

"Me too," I said, although the twinge of loneliness echoed over the connection from him. "Hey, isn't it about time for dinner?"

"It is," he said. The loneliness faded into the background of his emotions, butit wasn't gone. "I still haven't given you the rundown on how it's going to work on the trail."

"Talk while we walk," I said before turning to Isolde. "Thank you for being so patient with me, and I look forward to our friendship.” She blew a breath in my face and nudged my shoulder. Then she followed the tack master back toward the storage tent. 

"This way," Belenus led me away. 

"Depending on the weather, we'll hunt small game while we travel to save space with provisions.” His matter-of-fact tone was just as palpable through the connection as it was audible in his voice. "We'll have dried meats and such, but the lighter we travel the further the horses can cover in a day. There's plenty of places to stop for fresh water." A gust of wind blew past us, chilling the already cool afternoon. Clouds rolled in from the west. 

"What about fires and watches and stuff?" I asked. "We can't exactly hunt if we can't cook it, unless there's spells for that." A wave of amusement trickled over the connection.

"We'll make small cooking fires, but we'll heat the tent with the earth ovens like we do now," Belenus said. "They require less fuel to keep lit and they heat better than a fire outside."

"Makes sense.” Another breeze swirled around us

Belenus sniffed and shook his head. "Unless this is a storm rolling in. I don't think it is. It may just give a light sprinkling tonight. It doesn't smell like a storm." 

"That would epically suck.”

"As for watches, we'll split them evenly and rotate each night so nobody is stuck on the same shift each time," he said. "We'll all share a tent though, to keep packing light. It will be a tight fit, but we've done it before." 

"And it will keep us extra warm," I mused. The nights were already chilly, and from what I had seen on the map, the Anthologist's mountain was north of us. We'd be heading into colder weather. 

"My Lord Belenus," Sir Tadgh emerged from the space between nearby tents with his helm under one arm and bowed sharply. "I'm sorry to bother you, but Lady Caoimhe said there's an issue getting your provisions in order. She needs you urgently." 

"I'm afraid you'll have to dine with Faolán alone, again," Belenus sighed, releasing my hand. 

"It's fine," I chuckled and waved him off. "We'll have plenty of time to dine together on the trail." 

"That we will," he said. Then he made an abrupt turn and headed into the tents. 

Tadgh looked at me and offered an apologetic smile. "Sorry I had to send your dinner company away, my lady," he said. Then he shifted his helm to the other side. "I could join you if you didn't want to dine with Lord Faolán alone."

"Lord Faolán is a fine dinner companion," I said, and I meant it. "It's an inside joke because Belenus is called away almost every night just as we head to dinner."

"Oh, I see, well in that case, I'm going to go change out of this mess," Tadgh said and smacked his armor-covered chest. "Have a pleasant evening, Lady Grace." He bowed slightly, and I returned it with a dip of a curtsy.

"You too," I said and turned on my heel. 

I wondered if there wasn't something to the fact that Belenus was called away at dinner almost every night. I tried not to let the thought get to me, but it dragged down my eager excitement over the upcoming journey. The clouds overhead grew thicker in the afternoon sunset, mirroring the dark clouds growing in my mind. I tried to reassure myself that if there was ill intent behind Belenus’ dinnertime absences I would have felt it during our empathic connections, and I hadn't felt anything negative toward me. 

Yet, the inner voice in my head sneered. He'll get tired of your company. Everyone always does when you get annoying. I tried to shove the thoughts away, and when I located Faolán at our usual table, I was surprised to see Cherish with him. 

"Hello," I said, sitting down beside her. "Where's Steren?" She'd never eaten with us without her wife before. 

"Prepping the guards with orders before you all leave," Cherish said. I stirred some bread into the venison soup Faolán slid me. "Speaking of, I'd like to examine you before you go on the trail."

"That's fine by me," I replied, silently thankful that I had a distraction from the swirling negativity in my mind. "Is this a usual thing?" Faolán shifted uncomfortably beside me. I took a bite and observed the slightly off behavior of the pair.

"No, but I want to make sure you are adjusting well to the realm before you go through a long journey," Cherish said. Her eyes flicked to Faolán, and I recognized the look of two friends plotting. 

"It was Faolán's idea, wasn't it?" I asked. 

"Yes and no," Cherish replied, and I didn't miss the grateful expression that Faolán shot her. "I mentioned that you had recovered quite well, and Faolán mentioned that you occasionally withdraw when things are getting to be too much. I just wanted to make sure it wasn't due to lingering effects of Realm Shock or thrall." 

He noticed? Nobody in my life had ever noticed except one high school teacher. But did he notice for good reasons or because he thinks I'm weak?

"Grace, the only healers experienced with humans are in the Brightwood, and they've had no reason to pass their experiences on," she said, and I could tell she was defending Faolán's worry. Apparently, my tendency to get defensive over fussing hadn't gone unnoticed. "We just want to be sure; before you're out of reach of a healer."

"Of course I'll do it," I shrugged, trying to act like I was struggling to judge the boundaries and meaning of our trust so soon after establishing it. "Can I just eat first?"

"Of course," Cherish gestured down at her own plate that was still half full. Faolán simply had a mug of what was probably mead; it was his preferred drink for dinner and also filled my mug. I was three bites from being done when the silence at our table broke.

"So, did you find a horse to bond with?" Faolán asked, and I nodded before swallowing. 

"Isolde," I said, and the grin that broke across his face was one I'd never seen on him. It was bright and hopeful, like a kid at a surprise party. I grinned back. 

"Really? That's wonderful," he said and chuckled softly. "Ardhal will be happy for her company on the trail. You two are perfectly matched for energy." 

"I bet you're happy," Cherish snorted, and again I felt like I was missing a joke but not in a mean way. Faolán shot her an odd look, and she rolled her eyes. "You done there?"

"Yes," I said and drained the last of my mead. As always, the sweet liquid had warmed me as much as the soup. "Do you want to do this at your tent or ours?" 

"Let's go to yours," she said. 

"I'll take these away," Faolán said.. 

It was only a short walk to our tent, since I had figured out how to find it directly and not in a roundabout manner, and I led her inside. I stepped around the screen that separated my corner of the tent from the men and turned to face her. "Do I need to strip down or anything"

"No, just sit," she ordered. I flopped down onto Bella's bed. I tried not to think of it as mine. I was only borrowing it. Cherish dug into her ever-present bag and pulled out a white crystal. "First, I'm going to check your heart and lungs," she said. I nodded, feeling very much like I was at a checkup. 

"So, how long have you and Steren been married?" I asked. It wasn't often I got time alone with either of them, and I was more than a bit curious about Aranthem's views on such things. 

"Three years, but we have been together five," Cherish answered, moving the crystal along my body, not touching me with it though. "We met when I was apprenticing for the Royal Healer before me just after my eighteenth birthday and two days after she was appointed Captain of the Royal Guard." 

"Did you tend to a training wound or something?" I asked, trying not to fidget when she held the crystal up to her eye and squinted. 

"Nothing that romantically dramatic I'm afraid," Cherish laughed and placed her hand on my brow. "I got turned around looking for the gardens and ended up walking right into the training field." She moved her hand down to my chest, resting her fingers over my heart. "She helped me find my way, and I told her I'd never met a full werewolf in person. She invited me to dinner and I-" she paused to tilt my chin back and wave a purple stone over my eyes. "Said yes. Our families were pleased, even though I turned down a position as a Priestess of the Mother to pursue a full-time job as a healer so I could stay at the castle with her."

"I wish my world was more like yours," I sighed. I knew that their love story would have been far more rocky had it occurred in my home state. I didn't want to make her think badly of humans, even though she'd be justified. "Like, love at first sight and happily-ever-afters. It just doesn't really happen outside of books and movies." Luckily, she pulled the stone away and didn't ask about movies. 

"Well, love grows best where it's nourished and given freedom," Cherish said and tucked the stones away. "You're in perfect health. I don't see anything ailing you physically to cause you to feel the need to withdraw or even indicate other lingering effects of Realm Shock or thrall. You'll be fine on the trail." 

"Thanks," I said and stood up. "I'll make sure Faolán knows you gave me a clean bill of health." 

"I said physically, but not mentally," she said. I paused at her abrupt words. "You thought sectors have too many points. It’s normal for young children, but by your age most should have died off." I blinked up at her, unsure of exactly how to respond."

"Is it bad?”

"It isn't life-threatening. In fact, as long as you aren't exposed to severe traumas, it would just present as talkative natures, daydreaming, inability to sit still, and being forgetful," she shrugged and closed her bag. “I can make you a tea to help with those symptoms when you return.”

"Okay, no worrying," I said. I'd heard those symptoms described before, but the meaning was evading me. 

"Good, because I have a wife to get home to and to help pack," Cherish said while I gathered up my pajamas, soap, and hair cream. "See you in the morning," she called over her shoulder.

I watched her disappear in the direction of the guards' tents and sighed. I wouldn't worry about my brain until I got back from the Anthologist mission.