I almost snapped at her.

She said, "Are you going to say something mean again?"

"Yes."

"Then you're not really sorry if you keep doing it."

She's right. Im not sorry. Im mean and blame my problems on her. Then I say Im sorry later. Sometimes I don't because its not true, but she wants it to be true. 

Why won't she let me go?

Am I really so immature? 

Why am I so mean? I try to embrace the dignity of dragons, but end up unleashing undeserved fury. 

Drava says I'll do the some thing to someone else. Probably, but why does she need to point out what my flaws are? I am very sensitive.

I am also dishonest, because I want everyone to be happy. I lie and mask the truth to keep them happy. I don't want to do this, but I do. I am mean. when I try to be more honest I end up in conflict; my heart races, I shake, I cry, I get shut down. 

Where does the line between taking responsibility and meltdowns?

Dragonfire. Meltdowns. Fitting words. I hate the resentment in me. Why lie if I am hurting myself too? 

Im not sorry. I will not stop. I said fuck a lot today.

What do I do? The Gendra Host offered to protect me from my abuser. Am I not an abuse too? Is that an even better reason to accept their help?

We need each other too much. I cannot leap into flight without unbinding our chains or matrimony first. 

I cannot keep living chained. Is it my own self that chained myself to make Drava happy?

What to do to someone who knows not their own way in life - who knows not what to decide?

I often start in decision fatigue. I have more disability than her in that regard. However I can cook. She thinks she would be a better cook than me. 

How can I break off when we already agreed to unlock the shackles? My long elven hair gets caught in my wings sometimes. Irrelevent I know, but I wanted to lighten the mood.