Clenching my stomach, I’m on the floor trying not to throw up again. Reluctantly I am here with Sika, attempting another Life Trial. “Can you please tell me why, your gym-bro god is so nauseating to talk to?”

“I am right here, mortal! Lookie here! I can hear you, you know.”

“Exact–blea–ugh–hoping you’d take into account my feedback for your shitty service.”

“Dude, stop, don’t piss him off!” Sika holds a bucket in front of me as I throw up my breakfast.

“Ever wanted to be a nurse, laddie?”

“No…” I groan.

“Prayin’ it goes well this time.” Sika whispers and joins his hands together. “Take us away!”

The smell of rubbing alcohol and medicine infiltrates my nose as I gasp awake. My ribs ache with a burning sensation, perhaps from throwing up so much. I slowly support myself, eyes blurry. I’m in a hospital nursing station. A sudden noise from behind wakes me up. Another nurse has pulled back my chair and a tray with a syringe, pulsometer and a BP machine is shoved into my hands.

“Room 204, Emily. Check vitals and give ‘em this shot–paracetamol–I have to assist Doc Florence with an emergency.”

“Understood!” I blurt out, already on my way.

Wait. Wait just a minute.

My voice…I look back at my reflection on the glass window and almost trip on my feet. My name badge reads ‘Emily Parr’. I’m…I’m a woman!!! I instantly grab my chest and feel a soft, plush heavy weight. So this is what it feels like.

“Sister! Sister please come quick!” A desperate voice of an attender snaps me out of it. Perhaps it’s better not to do that in public. That’s right, this person’s life comes first. “Ma’am, I’m here to check the patient’s vitals.”

“Finally! Do you know how long we’ve had to wait? My father’s veins are incredibly narrow, so we have to flush the IV line every forty minutes!”

I feel a wave of familiarity wash over me. “Ma’am, don’t worry, I’ll flush the line right away.” I don’t have to think to get the job done. I gently rubs the patient’s IV line after flushing it. I’ve trained for this in the past. I studied eight years in nursing school, in the nearby city. ‘Emily on Parr with the doctors’ I was called. Even then, I got hit on several times. Most of my promotions were based on the dastardly bazoinkas.

…Bazoinkas?

“Sister, you’re hurting him!”

“Ah!” I withdraw my hand from the patient’s arm. I pressed too hard for a second there.

I’m Yin, I’m Yin, I’m Yin. Yin Rivers. I’m a man.

In Emily Parr’s body.

Remember, remember your mother. Remember Sika. Remember Death…

I mentally laugh at my stupidity. Remember Death! How I wish I could go back that easily. Judgment will give me an earful.

“Ma’am, the Doctor should be here in another twenty minutes, we can consider discharging him tonight if he takes it well. Tomorrow, if you want to claim insurance.” I know well, the stress of being a nurse. And I know all too well, the exhaustion of being an attender. The original Nurse Emily was clearly less talk, more action. I can tell by the girl’s puzzled look.

“I didn’t know nurses also knew about insurance.”

I ignore her, checking the patient’s vitals. His heart’s a bit faster than normal…tachycardia? Perhaps a side-effect from the infusion he’s undergoing. I make a few notes for the doctor and excuse myself.

Before I think it, this body moves on its own to finish its life’s duties. After this shift, I must find Sika. I need to know how this soul binding stuff works. If I can draw off Sika’s soul’s energy, and perhaps force Dissociation, then there may be a way for me to figure out what happened to the original body’s soul too. If I can somehow escape this place…

“Ey, nuh-uh. Nuh-uh kiddo!”

I almost drop the medical tray on my way out of the room. My head splits with pain. Y-You–God!

“Yeeep, it’s me! Am glad to hear you finally show some respect!”

I rush into the nearest bathroom and clamp my ears shut. His voice shifts from one ear to the other, like a high definition 8D audio of the loudest fucking TV static. “What do you want?!”

“I heard ya planning to sneak about, tryna find out my secrets, huh, laddie?”

“Bullshit. Get out of my head!”

“I’ll tell you. The secret isss, that…your little old Sika, is about to make his first jump!”

“What?” I whip my head up. The mirror reflects a dramatic bleeding nose of a young woman. I instinctively tilt my head back to stop the flow. “What are you saying?”

“If you go to the roof, you’ll find a Doctor Florence, age 53, who just flopped a cardiac surgery, making his first appearance as a trapeze artist!”

I crash out of the room and swing through the stairs. Sika. Sika don’t do it, Sika! He’s attempted to take his life before. If he takes his life here, I have a bad feeling that it will be the complete end! My legs are running as fast as they can, this body is running as fast as it can. The buzzer of the nurse bell echoes from the station, but Sika is here, and I need him to remain alive! If he dies…he can’t afford to! Sixth floor…seventh…roof! I throw my body at the rooftop door and pummel right through it, tumbling to the floor. “Sika!!!”

“–!”

“Sika, it’s me, Yin, I’m here!” I scramble to my knees and hold out my bruised arms to him. At this moment, I can see him, I can see the timid, scared little boy that he hides behind his careless, selfish attitude. I can see the desperation in the eyes of the original Doctor Florence. Those same eyes, which coexist with my friend. “I’m here.” I slowly approach, arms ready to pull him down from the parapet wall. “Come here, talk to me, I’m listening.” It doesn’t matter which one of you it is. “I’m here.”

Small sobs spill from the man’s lips. His voice is barely audible. “Emily…p-please believe me…”

“I will!”

“T-there’s someone else…inside…I’m–!”

I make a start. Doctor Florence falls backwards. I throw myself at him and grab his arm, just in time. “I–hngh!! I got you!!” I shout through what I’m sure is the sound of my shoulder cracking under the weight of a grown man who’s twice the size of me. “Aaargh!” I pull him up with all my strength and drag him to a considerably safe distance from the wall. I quickly prop his head up on my knee, his body is paralysed by fear. “Sir?” I huff.

“…Sister…Emily…thank…yo–” His body suddenly spasms. “Sir?! Sir!” 

I don’t know what to do! It’s not a seizure, it can’t be! I quickly stuff a handkerchief in his mouth just in case, just in case he bites his tongue! Wait, wait no, it’s something else. I see a thin yellow string of light piercing his chest.

…Sika’s soul?! I recognise it. I just know it’s his. I take in every detail. This is Sika’s soul, transmigrating completely into this man’s body, usurping what’s left of the shell. What do I do?

My finger brushes against the yellow string, it wriggles before steadfastly burying into the body’s heart, almost forcefully. I wince, withdrawing my finger. There’s a faint red smoke leaking from my nails, accompanied by a dull burning sensation. “What is…” I watch as a different coloured soul slips out of Doctor Florence’s eyes. A gentle blue light, like tears streaming. The red string of smoke leaking from my hands burns my skin, turning black as it pools at the base of my knees, gently wrapping the falling blue tears until they disappear altogether.

“…Death?”

There is no answer. But the man on the floor opens his eyes and a vastly different tone of voice calls out to me, in familiar phrasing.

“D-cup. Dude, that’s way bigger than mine.”

"..."

Sika pulls out the handkerchief, getting up. He pauses, gaze on the parapet wall. “Did I–Did you...” 

I swallow the knob of saliva that had lodged itself in my throat and look at my hands. The tips of my fingers are leaking the red smoke, still. “Come with me. There is a vending machine behind the building, ground floor. My shift is almost done.” 

I do not want to remain on this rooftop any longer. I grab his hand and drag him down the stairs.