Although the night was warm and quiet, the morning sees the beginning of a change in the weather. Dawn finds the group waking up to the sounds of the wagons getting ready to leave from across the clearing. There’s a hustle and a bustle about the other group that they simply don’t feel like emulating. There’s a drizzly mist in the air, just enough to begin to dampen down their blankets and make the whole wake-up process a slow and uncomfortable one.

Alex’s brain is working overtime. Even keeping on top of all the necessary decisions for the days ahead would normally be enough to think about, but there are now other thoughts intruding and interrupting his reasoning process.

Helping a sensitive young man from a sheltered upbringing should be seen as a laudable act, but there’s such a thing as going too far and Alex is genuinely concerned that he’s stepped over the line. Travelling with the actual clients in such a close proximity is such a rarity that Alex now simply doesn’t know right from wrong. The fact is, he should not be saying or doing anything to encourage anything more than good-natured friendship and co-operation between any of the six members of the group. They have a very dangerous and serious job to do.

Jamie is young, inexperienced in the normalities of life outside the castle. He is also under Alex’s protection. All these things point firmly in the direction of Alex keeping it in his pants, but that line was, at the very least, blurred last night.

By the time the wagons pull out and head slowly up the hill, Garvan and Brion are working on breakfast and everyone else is at least up and about their morning routines. Probably best to just forget about yesterday and keep my distance, Alex thinks to himself. He makes a point of signalling to Peta that he needs to relieve himself, not even glancing in the direction of Jamie or Cato.

“Is everything okay, Alex,” Peta asks him from the other side of a convenient bush.

“Any reason why it shouldn’t be?”

“No, just that you’re less talkative than usual this morning.”

“It’s this bloody miserable misty weather. Well, that and a little self-doubt.”

“I never pictured you as being someone who doubts his actions,” Peta tells him with a soft chuckle. “Actually, the only person I know who seems more certain of his choices is the King.”

“Hell, no. I’m just as insecure about my decisions as anyone else. Might be better at hiding it sometimes, is all.”

“Might I ask what decision is possibly wrong? Maybe I can help.”

“I don’t think I’m quite ready for that, but I’ll keep it in mind. For today, would you like to lead? Maybe test Jamie a little while I relax a bit?”

“Sure, be nice to not look at the back end of a horse for a bit.”

It takes a couple of hours, slowly walking up the road, before the mist begins to clear away, driven off by the climbing sun and a slight breeze from the north. Inevitably, as they continue to climb, the temperature is falling slightly. By the time the sun is at the zenith, it’s just pleasantly warm, rather than uncomfortably hot. Still, the sun is fierce.

Alex can’t help but keep at least mostly alert at first, watching Peta and Jamie closely. The young prince was clearly puzzled by the riding arrangements when they were announced, but takes his place at the front with Peta with an air of resignation. The other thing that’s obvious now that Alex has taken a step back is just how quickly Jamie picks up on anything that you teach him.

Peta is more than competent to lead, particularly when the road is quiet and the weather good. Six men on horseback can move at a reasonable pace, quickly overtaking the now familiar wagons and their crews, despite their hour-long start. As they forge ahead, it’s unlikely that they’ll see them again.

“He might be sensitive, but he’s quick and exceptionally intelligent,” Cato tells Alex softly once they are moving along again after a short break for noon. “Explain something once and he’ll probably never need to ask about it ever again.”

“So I see. He’s doing very well for a beginner.”

“On the subject of how smart he is, you may be being a bit too obvious.”

“Obvious about what, exactly?”

“Trying to put some space between the two of you. He’ll catch on quickly, if he hasn’t already.”

“I see,” Alex manages to mutter after a few moments. “I’m just trying to maintain some professional objectivity.”

“I’m sure you have your reasons for that. You know your business better than any of the rest of us, after all.”

“Sometimes I’m not so sure about that, but I do what I must.”

“Will you listen to an older man’s ramblings for a moment, then?”

“Of course, Cato. I’m sure whatever you have to say will not be rambling.”

“Don’t bet, even with your almost legendary luck. Anyway, I’ve known Jamie for more than a dozen years. He’s always been the same. Studious, sensible, observant and quiet. When he angers, it’s fleeting and quickly forgiven. He does, however, lack that certain something that would make him an ideal ruler. He lacks a ruthless streak. We should be grateful, as it is what may allow him to hold the flame.”

“You make him sound perfect.”

“Well, nobody’s perfect. He has one more trait that some might perceive as a flaw. One that perhaps you, out of all of us, are familiar with.”

“What?”

“Look, Alex, I’m an engineer, not a philosopher or physician. I’m also a flawed vessel like any other. That doesn’t mean I haven’t had time to study both medicine and philosophy, just that I make no claims to be any good at either.”

“The awakening of adolescence is different for every person, as you are no doubt well aware,” Cato continues.

“Oh, of that I’m very well aware indeed.”

“Most find an attraction to those of the opposite sex, according to the obvious traits of gender and the need for the continuation of our species in this world. A few, like yourself, find themselves reacting differently, attracted to those of the same sex. The studies that I have read suggest that this is more common than you might think from outward appearances and a trait shared equally between men and women. Oppression and stigma make any study difficult and potentially dangerous.”

“I now accept that you’re able to ramble, my friend,” Alex suggests with a grin. “I’m assuming that you do have a point to make?”

“I do, I do. So, adolescence is an awakening of both the physical and the emotional. We develop the physical at the same time as we discover the emotional. Well, most people do.”

Cato pauses for a moment, taking a drink from the water-flask hanging from his saddle. “I realized quite quickly that I didn’t fit into the slots we have just defined. Not one, the other or some combination of both. I genuinely feel no attraction to either female or male. In those romantic or erotic terms, I feel absolutely nothing. In fact, I honestly don’t see what the fuss is about.”

“I’m not quite sure that I can see how that would work?” Alex tells him.

“No? I’m not entirely surprised. It’s a difficult concept. I have no problem recognising beauty, strength, intelligence, personality or any other such desirable trait, it’s just that they elicit no hormonal or emotional reaction from me.”

“And this relates to Jamie somehow?”

“Only in the sense that it should be obvious to you that not everyone fits with some small set of limited definitions. We are all different and that isn’t a bad thing, despite how some view it.”

“I may only be seen by most as Jamie’s tutor, but, I’m also his friend and he has always known that he is free to talk to me about anything. I’d never break a confidence, but you’re intelligent enough that I don’t think I have to.”

“I’m still not sure that I know where this conversation is going,” Alex mutters, more to himself than to Cato.

“It’s going to end with me telling you that, while nothing is pre-ordained or inevitable, sometimes things happen just because they are right in some bigger sense than is obvious to us. Also, punishing yourself or others just to live up to some pre-conceived notion of right or wrong will never work in the end.”