Every part of me I refuse to acknowledge…

No one is perfect but that is who I strive to be. The perfect princess on the throne, no mistakes. Utter and complete perfection of everything a woman is expected to be. 

The future holds me tightly, clinging to ideals that I know I cannot truly achieve. A ghost of the past will always be there, a cruel balance between past and future. 

No matter how hard I try I won't ever be anyone's perfect idol. But that's just it, no one that's idolized is perfect and nor do I truly have to be. I will always try, but the past haunts me, an everlasting voice of who I am meant to be, parts of me that are forgotten crying out for me to hear. 

I can run after the ideals I want so badly, but there will always be that voice that whispers in my ear, screaming to my soul “Don’t you dare forget who you are!”

 I will always be torn between the past and the future, the pieces of me I cannot forget and the ideals that I long for. I will always be haunted by my past and longing for an impossible future. That's just who I am. 

Or so I tell myself…because no matter how hard I try, I already know who I am, and lying to myself only serves to hurt me, and it's high time I see that.