I Was Tricked into This Fake Marriage!

Chapter 3

It seemed that Seira and Sir Heiden were preparing for the worst.

Word was that Sir Heiden had broken down in front of Seira a while back, saying that even if they couldn’t spend the rest of their lives together, that he would only have room for her in his heart...

And then of course, Seira came to me bawling and sniveling, begging me to let him go so he could be happy... I mean, what did I do?!

Fine! I’d never had a boyfriend.

Ugh, it’s so hard being single. I’m gonna find a man to be in a mutually beneficial relationship with if it’s the last thing I do.

One year—even if my last-minute husband turned out to be a dud, I’d just have to deal with him for one year. That was exactly how long I needed to stay with a man to give me the veneer of marital respectability.

I’d be lying if I said I’d never fantasized about my first love, or what a love match would be like. In fact, I’d even toyed with the idea of giving up my title once or twice.

But giving up on my family lineage and estate would make me a noble only in name, and I would have to give up every single penny of the Efran County’s wealth as well. My only skills were tied to managing the estate, like organizing paperwork and budgeting. I couldn’t even sew or embroider anything, let alone darn a sock!

And it won’t just be my livelihood on the line if I don’t get married.

Everyone with the Efran surname would be at peril. We’d all end up out in the streets!

Jeez. Did it have to be so hard to make a living?

Feeling ever-so-slightly mortified that I was about to enlist the guild to help me find a husband, I didn’t leave the estate until lights-out when everyone else had retired to bed. Sir Heiden offered to escort me, so we drew our robes around ourselves tightly and made our leave.

I couldn’t bear to tell Sir Heiden about my plans for a mutually beneficial marriage of convenience. While the empire might be liberal about the concept of divorce, my kingdom was anything but. Though I could have just as easily sent a servant to get the job done, it was for this reason that I insisted on going myself.

We found the Nine Nights agent at the Makatt Merchant Guild.

A well-dressed attendant waited at the entrance. Judging by his build, I guessed he was a security guard.

“I have a commission for the Nine Nights,” I said.

“Of course.”

The guard rang a bell and a young errand boy appeared.

“Please follow me,” the boy said.

The boy led us down to the first-level basement and through a corridor. Sir Heiden seemed at ease, clearly familiar with the surroundings. We were brought to a modest reception room.

“Only the commissioner may enter through the inner door.”

That was when I noticed the small interior door. I looked up at Sir Heiden and he peered back at me with worry. I gave him a brave nod to show him not to worry, then took a step forward.

The boy knocked lightly on the door.

“You have a guest.”

I heard a muffled voice from inside say, “You may enter.”

Or had I? Because I thought I heard something more like “Dammit, do you know what time it is?”

Maybe I was mistaken? I hesitated for a moment while the boy held the door open, then walked through.

The door slammed shut behind me. It was dark inside. The lights were off, and all I could see were wisps of white smoke floating in the darkness. I could make out the scent of burning leaves.

Could that be lavender...?

It was less acrid than the scent of tobacco—almost like burning dried mugwort, aromatic and not unpleasant.

“Ugh...”

I heard someone groan, then the sound of rustling. With no way of knowing what was happening, I waited for my eyes to acclimate to the darkness.

“How annoying.”

I beg your pardon?

Someone started rummaging around in the corner, then plopped down in a chair. I could hear them, but there was no other indication of their presence.

The sound of a strike filled the room, then a sudden flash of flames. By the time I looked over in surprise, it was already gone, leaving behind only a faint ember of light. Someone was having a smoke.

“Whaddaya want?” whoever it was asked gruffly.

His voice had a tinge of insolence that grated on my nerves. Though, while the voice was husky and low, it didn’t have the roughness of age. Whoever he was, this person could not have been much older than me.

“Pardon, but can’t you turn on the lights?” I asked.

Instead of a reply, I was answered with a light coughing fit.

“For crying out loud. Heh heh heh!”

The sound was so raspy that I almost couldn’t tell if it was coughing or laughter. I decided it was laughter and spoke up more assertively.

“I have a lot to go over, so offer me a seat too, why don’t you?”

I couldn’t remember the last time I had spoken to someone so indifferently.

“Sure, why not.”

Another strike, and a lamp came alight. The interior of the room started to come into focus.

The top of the man’s head looked more like a bird’s nest than hair. Matted, stringy strands hung over his forehead down to his cheeks, covering more than half his face. The straw-like color of his hair made its likeness to a bird’s nest that much more noticeable.

However, his good looks were still readily apparent. The extraordinary angle of his jawline and his rakish gaze were hard to miss. Such big eyes too.

I could tell he was quite tall, even with him sitting huddled in his chair. Nor was there an ounce of fat on him, with his oversized shirt hanging over his lean frame. His wrists and forearms, caught in glimpses from his sagging sleeves, looked sturdy and strong.

Hot damn.

The man had what looked like a rolled paper cigarette hanging carelessly from his lips. But in this world, tobacco was smoked in pipes. No one here rolled tobacco in papers like that.

Was this the empire’s version of a cigarette? Having never ventured beyond Efran’s domain, I had no way of knowing. It smelled pleasant enough at least.

The man pointed at an empty seat. I looked at him, then at the wooden dunce stool he had indicated, then finally at what I assumed was the piece of furniture he had been reclining on before getting up to receive me.

I ignored the battered-looking stool and gingerly took a seat on the cot. Truth be told, it was more of a cabinet than a bed.

The man raised the corners of his mouth and started snickering.

“Didn’t anyone tell you that it’s rude to go around sitting on people’s beds?”

“You call this a bed?”

He shook his head vigorously, even letting out an indignant sigh. What the hell was his problem?

“Can’t you put that cigarette out?”

I just went ahead and asked him. Why not at this stage?

The man sucked in noisily at the rolled cigarette in his mouth, then paused. The bright red ember at the tip started turning to ash.

“Hmm.”

He unleashed two plumes of smoke from his nostrils and made a nasally sound.

“It’s not a cigarette.”

I guess it did smell different.

“It’s not a hallucinogen, is it?”

Even though my face was already obscured by my robes, I pulled them tighter over my mouth. I warily eyed the smoke filling the room.

“Not that. A sedative. I’ve been through things you wouldn’t believe. It’s the only way I can sleep.”

“Well, that’s your problem. Is the Nine Nights Guild normally in the habit of receiving guests so poorly?”

“Only three free questions for first-time clients.”

What...?

“What does that mean?”

“Paywall.”

The nerve!

“When did I even ask you a question?”

“Paywall.”

Rendered speechless, I slumped in defeat. I had heard that the Nine Nights Guild was a money-hungry bunch, but charging for conversation was next level.

Fortunately, the one thing that Efran County had was money. Not only did we have fertile lands and well-connected roads, the entire domain was surrounded by mountains, seas, and rivers, so we had no shortage of resources.

“How much?”

“There’s an additional fee for late-night visits, and an additional fee for non-reservations, which brings the advance payment to a total of...”

The man held up three fingers. I retrieved three gold coins from my robes and thrust them at him.

He glanced down at my palm, crushed the butt of his non-cigarette in the ashtray on the desk, then cocked a finger toward himself. I tossed the three coins at him.

He raised his arm in a slow, sweeping gesture and caught the coins in a single motion. The fluid way he snatched them out of the air seemed to surprise even himself. What did he want, applause?

“You wanted me to throw them at you.”

The man tossed the coins into a little rubbish bin under the desk.

“It doesn’t make it any less surprising to have a noblewoman practically fling money at you.”

Did he just throw those gold coins into the trash? I craned my neck to look, but I didn’t see so much as a tissue.

That was his cash till? Who used a trash bin to keep their cash? And under the desk too!

But in all seriousness, he knew who I was! Of course he did. I was at the intelligence guild, after all!

I decided to abandon my initially perfunctory demeanor and regained my poise. I threw my shoulders back and stuck my chin up proudly.

“So you do know I’m a noblewoman! So how do you excuse your lack of decorum? I thought the rules of hierarchy in the empire were even stricter than ours, but clearly I heard wrong.”

There was no way I’d let this slide if he knew who I was all along! The man peered at me intently before doubling over in a fit of laughter.

“And here I thought you were the prim, pampered daughter of a count.”

I mean, really! Was he behaving this way just because I only put on airs after I realized he knew who I was? Wouldn’t anyone do that in my shoes?

I glared at him resentfully and the man stood up, snickering.

“By golly. I really thought everyone had lost it. You know, I asked them five times just to make sure. If you really were the Lady Leyrin of Efran County.”

“I’m not.”

“Nah. My sources said that you’re—”

“It’s Countess Leyrin Efran, you disrespectful brute!”

I cut him off sharply and announced myself, but he started guffawing all over again.

Maybe he had a screw loose? He’d said that he was smoking a sedative, but what if it was actually something else, like a stimulant or an upper?

“Sure, sure. A countess is still a countess, even if her reign only lasts for two months.”

He stroked his smooth, shaved chin with his finger. Perhaps it was the dim lighting, but his skin looked nice and clear.

He probably didn’t get much sun, working indoors and all. And how the hell was he so ripped? Did he like working out?

“Haah... If you know who I am, then surely you must also know why I’m here.”

“Did you need to switch to that snooty way of talking? You sure seemed friendlier at first, the way you were so casual with me.”

“Well, perhaps you should start showing some respect to the noble class.”

“Sorry. Never have, so I wouldn’t know how to start.”

Oh, yeah? I seem to have gotten the hang of it just fine after twenty-one years, you jerk. I guess you don’t even have it in you to try, huh? Good for you.

His frivolous and condescending attitude was grinding my gears. But then I remembered it was absolutely vital that I marry some rando in two weeks so I could go pledge my absolute loyalty to the emperor.

So who cared if the person working the case had an attitude problem? I could just tell him what I was here for and go on home.

“I believe we have covered the niceties,” I said. “Will you take my case or not?”

“Seriously, just relax. You sound funny trying to be so formal.”

“Fine, you donkey! Here, does that work? Can I tell you about my case now?!”

The man smirked.

“That’s more like it. So, Countess, here to find a husband, are you?”

“So you do know.”

“Of course. You should know that the confidentiality of our clients and their secrets are guaranteed. But we hold no liability for what you, the client, might reveal. I’ll have you know that ninety-nine percent of rumors are caused by the loose lips of clients themselves. For an additional fee, you can purchase the exclusivity of said secrets and information. However, you need to consider that it might become common knowledge that this information was sold exclusively.”

He rambled on, explaining in great detail that thirty percent of the intelligence-gathering fee was paid as a deposit and how additional fees would be accrued in the event of any obstacles or difficulties during the process.

He sounded friendly enough during the whole thing. But judging from our initial banter, my guess was that he just liked to gab in general. He didn’t look the type, though the most of what I could see of his face was just the chin.

“Got it,” I said.

“Obviously, you’re gonna want a member of the peerage. Any preferences for age or place of origin?”

“I want someone of a quasi-noble rank in their twenties.”

I kept my list of preferences short, as I expected the pool of eligible bachelors available to marry me within two weeks to be quite shallow.

The man waited for me to continue before sitting up.

“Is that it?”

“I was thinking, once you give me a list of candidates, I could go from there. How many do you have that I could meet right away?”

“About two hundred?”

I thought I had misheard him.

“You have two hundred men of a quasi-noble rank in their twenties who are available for me to meet within two weeks?”

He gave a short nod.

“Are you sure you want someone in their twenties? A teenager would probably be easier for you to wrangle.”

The absolute audacity of this guy! I was no cradle robber!

I rejected the idea.

“He must be in his twenties,” I insisted.

“Huh.”

He made a sour face as if pondering something, and I reiterated myself firmly, “I don’t want anyone younger than me and I don’t want someone the same age either! So absolutely no teenagers!”

“It’s gonna be tough to find a virgin in their twenties.”

“...What?”

“Or do you not care if they’re a virgin? I thought the people in this region were nuts about saving themselves for marriage or something.”

He was right. Premarital sex was an absolute no-no according to the rigidly traditional ways of my kingdom. Didn’t you know? When someone says you can’t do something, it just makes them wanna do it that much more.

Not that it changed the fact that I was still tragically single. Boohoo.

“And why a quasi-noble? All the members of the lower imperial aristocracy are just landless layabouts with a pittance of a government allowance.”

“I’m okay with that.”

“Most of the lower aristocracy aren’t originally from the empire, you see. When your king here put up a fight, all of the rest of the noblemen who joined him were stripped of their titles. But the kingdoms that were absorbed without bloodshed are crawling with newly minted aristocrats. They’re basically nobles in title only. To become a permanent, real aristocrat is much harder than it is in these parts. You need to have contributed to the empire in some way.”

“But I thought that all of the imperial soldiers who fought in the war were granted titles. What about them?”

“Ohh, that side? Well, they’re all... Never mind.”

“What?”

“Three pieces of gold if you wanna know.”