It had been entirely an accident the day he discovered his ‘first love’.

He had never before imagined that the emotions he felt when in the presence of his childhood friend were of the romantic kind. At twelve, ‘love’ was still a vague, aimless term that was reserved for the conversations amongst the girls of his classroom. All Jong In knew was that he always wanted to be with his childhood friend, to be near him, to laugh with him, to have fun with him.

It wasn’t until one hot summer afternoon, while the sun was glaring angrily onto the bed where the two boys were lying together and thinking up random ways to fill the remaining days of summer break, when he finally put a name to his feelings.

Jong In had returned home after getting a haircut to find Ye Jun lying in his bed, reading a comic book that Jong In had bought on the first day of summer.

Ye Jun had simply gazed up at him from his position and grinned. “You look like a chestnut,” he had said.

Jong In shrugged, not particularly interested in the way his hair looked. He had simply picked a style that was easy and that could help him fight off the summer heat. He made his way directly to the bed and joined his friend, picking up a book of his own on the way.

But instead of reading, they spent the rest of the afternoon talking, dreaming up plans for what they would do if they had all the money in the world. They talked of building rockets, mining for rare rocks, digging for dinosaurs, building a life-sized catapult, sailing to the Americas. Each plan was more extravagant than the last.

And while each scenario changed, one thing always remained the same: it was always just the two of them, off on their little adventure.

Jong In Lee and Ye Jun Han together.

Then Ye Jun had made an offhand comment that stuck with Jong In for years to come.
“I don’t really care what we do,” he had said, flailing his arms up into the air in random arches. “Just as long as I can do it with you, every summer for the rest of our lives.”

Jong In had looked at his friend. A strange but familiar feeling had bubbled up in his chest after hearing Ye Jun’s words. It was a feeling he often had when he was with Ye Jun, but this time there was something more to it. His fingers itched. He wanted to reach out to him, to hug him…kiss him.

Kiss him?

Startled and terrified by the direction of his thoughts, Jong In had forced his mind to focus on his words instead. Every summer from then on, he had said. They had promised each other so it had to be made true.

And for a while, they had kept to their promise. But that summer…the summer of their 20th year, Ye Jun had not shown his face once.

~

Jong In sat at his desk in his quiet bedroom and stared at his phone, telepathically willing it to ring.

But it remained silent.

Jong In closed his eyes tightly as his thoughts ventured back to the previous winter. Why had he acted in such a manner? It wasn’t as though he had just realized his feelings for his friend. He had been in love with the guy since middle school and it had been eight years since then.

He had been good at controlling his emotions all that time so why had he spiraled?

Even Jong In could tell that he had become too attached, reaching out to Ye Jun constantly, meeting up with him after classes, standing on the sidelines, waiting for him to finish his conversations with others, forcing Ye Jun to end the conversation or outing quickly just so that Jong In wouldn’t have to wait too long or feel too uncomfortable.

If someone had done something like that to him, Jong In would have hated it too. He had been too selfish, so of course Ye Jun had felt burdened.

What was wrong with him? Had he somehow lost all his pride that year? Even worse, now it seemed that Ye Jun had finally realized that the guy he called his best friend was attracted to him. Was he uncomfortable now that he knew Jong In was gay? Or was he uncomfortable with the fact that it was Jong In who liked him?

They had never gone so long without speaking.

In the past, even when one of their families had gone away on vacation, they had constantly kept in contact via text and phone calls. They had never gone more than a few days without speaking to each other.

Jong In felt anxious. If Ye Jun could go so long without speaking to him then did that mean their friendship was over? Could the length of time exceed this into six months? A year? Five years? A lifetime?

He reached for his phone again, but then he froze. It had only been a few days since he had last tried calling him. He had been outside on campus, standing somewhere between their two departments, when he dialed his number. Jong In had looked up and had seen Ye Jun turn a corner just as his phone rang for the third time.

Ye Jun had been with a friend, and when he glanced down at his phone, he simply placed it back into his pocket and continued along his way.

It had been a bit of a shock to Jong In, to witness his friend purposely avoiding him.

Had it really only been a few weeks since they were hanging out together like normal?

Jong In closed his eyes again and let out a long sigh, placing his forehead against the cold hard desk. If he just hadn’t gotten so greedy….

“Hello?” came a voice from somewhere in front of him, interrupting his thoughts.

Jong In looked up, his eyes wide in surprise. The lecture had ended more than twenty minutes ago, the classroom should have been empty but now a man stood in front of him. He was tall, slim, with soft hair flowing across his forehead and a face similar to the ones Jong In often saw adoring teenagers' phones. He was beautiful.

A deep chuckle emanated from the man and Jong In blinked.

“Ah, you have a—,” the person said as he pulled a piece of sticky note from Jong In’s forehead. He gazed at it for a moment before handing it to him.

Jong In looked down at the note. He had furiously scribbled something on it during class while he was lost in thought, and now the word shouted glaringly back at him: ‘Idiot.’

Kill me now.

“Well, if I did that then you wouldn’t be able to help me,” the man replied with laughter in his voice.

Jong In looked up, surprised. He hadn’t realized he had spoken out loud.

He cleared his throat. “S-ssorry,” he mumbled, crumpling the offending note.

The man smiled. “I was hoping you could help me. I’m looking for someone. Her name is Ji Soo Chae,” he said as he gazed at his watch, “though I am a bit early.”

Jong In stared at him. He vaguely remembered Ji Soo mentioning someone coming to meet her on campus. His jaw tightened and he took a deep breath. “Uhhm…a-are you—” he briefly shut his eyes, even though this stutter had been with him all his life he still hadn’t completely gotten over the embarrassment of it, “–t-the sunbae that is wor-working with Professor S-Song?”

He closed his eyes, waiting for the inevitable question about his stutter but when it never came, he opened his eyes to see the man looking at him in surprise. “Yes, how do you know that?”

He stood awkwardly gripping the crumbled sticky note in his hand. “J-Ji Soo mentioned th-that an alumnus s-she knew was coming to the university th-this week.”

The man’s smile widened and again, Jong In noted that he was quite handsome, perhaps even on par with Ye Jun. “How lucky. I thought it would take me hours to find her but the first person I happen to meet is not only her friend but also happens to be quite cute.”

Jong In looked at him in surprise and his body froze momentarily. Exactly how was he supposed to respond? Were there any words or inane pleasantries floating around his head somewhere that he could use?

“My name is Si Woo Go,” the man said with a laugh.

Jong In winced internally. He had forgotten the most common thing a person should do when meeting someone new: asking for their name. Normally he wouldn’t have cared much but there was something about this man and his teasing demeanor that made him not want to lose face. He swallowed hard and tried not to bite his tongue.

“N–Nice to meet you,” he said, clenching his fists so as not to stumble over his words. “MMy name is Jong In Lee.”

Si Woo chuckled. “You’re an odd one.”

Jong In felt his face flush with embarrassment. Was he referring to his speech?

“But that’s cute too.”

He froze again and felt his cheeks heat up. Please stop. “I-I’ll take you to J-Ji Soo,” he said, stumbling over his feet slightly as he quickly grabbed his bag and scrambled towards the exit. When he reached the door of the classroom, he turned back to see Si Woo watching him with open amusement.

“S-Sunbae, please,” he almost pleaded, “let’s g-g-go and find her.”

The man smiled, a glint in his eyes as he followed Jong In out of the classroom.

They walked for several minutes, going up the stairs and over towards a series of gray doors. Si Woo briefly saw the title ‘Coding Club’ written on the door that Jong In knocked on and then subsequently opened without awaiting a reply.

The room was dark but Jong In instinctively reached for the switch on the wall and plunged light into the room.

They looked around and spotted a sofa bed on the farthest wall. Two bodies were laid out upon the small space.

“Who is it?” said a groggy, raspy voice as a disheveled head popped up from the sofa and turned to look at them. “Oh, Jong In and…Si Woo oppa?”

She reached up to rub her eyes when she paused and looked down. “Ugh, no wonder it was so hot,” she grumbled as she pushed away the arm that laid heavily on top of her. She stood and climbed over the second, still sleeping form.

“Oppa,” she yawned as she stood in front of them, rubbing the sleep from her eyes, “You weren’t supposed to be here until tomorrow.”

Si Woo smiled. “The professor called me in a little earlier to go over some material for our research. I just finished with him and thought I’d find you.”

They turned at the creaking sound of the sofa bed and watched as a tall, attractive young man with sharp features and sharp eyes stood up and made his way towards them.

When he reached them, he leaned into Ji Soo, who was again suppressing a yawn, and then pressed his sleepy face into the back of her neck. She reached out and, almost out of instinct, ruffled his hair.

Si Woo watched them curiously.

“I told you to sleep in your own bed, Hwan Yoo.”

“But you looked cold,” he mumbled into her neck.

She yawned again. “Why do I even bother? You always just do whatever you want.” She then turned back to them, unfazed by the heavy head leaning on her. She led them over to a large table that stood near the middle of the room and plopped herself down in a chair, all the while making allowances for the large form that seemed glued to her.

She turned to Jong In. “I know you don’t have any more classes, so you don’t mind if we talk about the project now? It’s a good opportunity since Si Woo oppa has a lot of experience in the gaming industry.”

“Oh,” replied Jong In, sending Si Woo a furtive, embarrassed glance before sitting down. “S-Sure.”

A few weeks ago, Ji Soo had reached out to him with a proposal to develop a farming game. At first, Jong In had thought it was too ambitious considering it was only their second year in university, but he had understood her reasoning. She had grown up poor, having taken job after job in high school to save enough for university. She had even selected her major purely based on the fact that it was one of the top profitable industries in the country that also did not have too high of a barrier to entry.

Her focus was almost always on making money, but she knew that she could not do it alone and had thus asked Jong In to assist her with the game’s graphic design, which just happened to align with his major.

Ji Soo quickly went over her proposal again and Jong In, watching her animated face and meeting her wide, hopeful eyes, let out a small smile.

But still he hesitated. He wasn’t terribly certain of his skill, and this wasn’t something Jong In would have ever done on his own. He couldn’t imagine bringing much value to Ji Soo, but at the same time, he found that he could not turn her down. Not because of her pitch for potential profits and a beefed-up resume, but because she was his friend and her future mattered to him.

Plus, maybe…this was what Ye Jun had meant when he said that he should have more experiences.

He closed his eyes, trying to will away the sudden ache in his chest.

“O-Okay,” he finally said when he opened his eyes again.

Ji Soo wrapped her arms about him in a tight hug, and then pulled up a chair beside him as she excitedly began to share her ideas for the project.

At around 6PM, she stretched her arms out. They had spent several hours discussing the outline of the tasks they both needed to complete, as well as the type of engine they would use. Much of this stemmed from Si Woo’s advice, who, at some point, had offered to assist them in the development as long as the workload did not get in the way of his other duties.

“I think that’s enough for today,” Ji Soo said brightly. “I didn’t think we’d plan out nearly the entire process. As expected, Si Woo oppa, you really are knowledgeable.”

She then turned to Jong In with a large smile. “And thank you for agreeing to be a part of this. I know you’re doing it for me. Ah, seriously,” she suddenly exclaimed, reaching over and pulling Jong In in for another tight hug. “What would I do without you?”

Suddenly, Hwan’s large form wedged itself between them, hugging Jong In in her place.

“Hey!” Ji Soo yelled with a laugh.

“Ah, I was feeling a little left out,” he said, turning back to look at her with a smile while still clutching onto Jong In.

She laughed again, settling back down, and only then did Hwan finally let go of Jong In, who looked wholly unperturbed by the entire interaction.

Si Woo watched them curiously. For such an awkward person to be unfazed by this skinship meant it was likely a common occurrence.

“Anyways, since this was a successful first meeting, this noona will buy fried chicken tonight!” Ji Soo boomed as she began stuffing her papers back into her bag.

“Noona?” Si Woo said with an amused arch of his brow.

She winked. “I’m an older sister if I am buying.”

Si Woo smirked, suddenly struck by a fun idea. “Then noona,” he said jauntily, placing an arm over her shoulder. “Can we also order meat and soju along with the chimaek?”

She pretended to deliberate for a moment, and then grinned. “Alright, I’m in a good mood tonight so let’s just go all out!”

Her stomach growled loudly in response.

Si Woo gazed furtively at Hwan and saw the man glaring quietly in their direction. Interesting.

He then turned to look at Jong In. He had been smiling just a moment ago, but now his gaze was slightly lowered, and he was staring blankly at an empty spot on the table. And for some reason, that was interesting too.

“Let’s go!” Ji Soo said, slinging her bag over her shoulder, interrupting their individual thoughts as she loudly made her way towards the door, her stomach growling once more.