My night was not good. In my mind, I kept going over the message from my mother and worried. My thoughts went round in circles and the darkness and sadness settled over me. I couldn't sleep and even when it slowly got lighter outside I can not manage to wipe away the darkness. I hear the alarm clock, sit up, quietly climb down the ladder and disappear into the bathroom. 

The other three are still asleep. When I look in the mirror, I see red, puffy eyes and curls sticking out in all directions. My thoughts continue to spin. 

Slowly, I turn on the tap and turn it to cold. I wash my face and try to wipe away the darkness as well.

But I don't succeed. 

“Liv, what is taking you so long? We have to hurry. It's the last lesson. Come on!” shouts

Hannah outside the door. 

“I'll be ready in a minute.” I manage to reply. 

I hear Hannah leaving and hear other footsteps outside the bathroom. 

“Everything all right?” I hear Anne ask quietly. 

I thought I didn't have a tear in me and yet this simple question from Anne made my eyes fill with tears again.

“Mhm” I manage to get out. 

But it doesn't seem to convince Anne and I hear her ask “Can I come in?”. 

I look in the mirror again and wonder what she must think of me. So fragile and sensitive. But it's Anne, I say to myself in the mirror try to convince myself. 

“Mhm.” 

Then I hear the door latch is slowly pushed down and the door opens. The darkness that has spread through the bathroom recedes as Anne enters. Slowly, I feel like I can breathe again and Anne radiates calm. She doesn't look at me with pity, but with compassion. 

Without saying anything, I walk towards her and throw myself into her arms. The thoughts in my head continue to spin but I feel less alone. Anne hugs me tightly and just stays calm. I don't have to explain myself to her. I can just be. I hear her heart beating and try to match my breathing to it and calm myself down further. 

Looking back, I don't know how long we stood there in that embrace, but it felt like an eternity to me. 

“Thank you,” I mumble after my thoughts have slowly calmed down and the darkness has disappeared from the bathroom. 

“I'm here.” Anne says quietly. 

“What are you doing in there? We have to go!” Hannah calls out and Chloe replies “Well, I'm off. I'll meet you there.” 

“We don't have to go to class if you can't.” Anne says to me. 

My heart lightens. “I'll be fine. I'm waiting for a message from my mother. My grandfather is having an emergency operation today. I'm sure the lessons will distract me.” I say to her. 

”Are you sure?” Anne looks at me worriedly. 

“Yes, I don't know why I'm reacting like this. Nothing has happened yet.” 

“Your reaction is completely okay and normal in a situation like this. You're worried and you're so far away from your family. Thoughts can start to circle. I know that too. But when we talk about it, it takes away the heaviness and helps us get back to the here and now.” Anne says.

“Thank you for being there. That helps me a lot.”

 At that moment, my cell phone vibrates and I quickly look at it. But it's just a message from Hannah saying that she's on her way to class too. 

“Let's go to class. Maybe you can cover for me in case I suddenly have to go to the toilet because I get a message from my mother?” I ask Anne. 

“Of course, making excuses is my strong point.” She smiles at me, but I can see how she continues to worry.

“You don't have to worry. I'll manage.” I try to reassure her, but I don't quite succeed. 

We get to class on time. Anne sits down next to me and her closeness has a calming effect on me. I try to follow the lesson, which I more or less succeed in doing. Sometimes I digress, but that's okay. A glance from Anne, a brief touch or her clearing her throat always brings me back to the here and now. 

Just before the lesson is finished, I notice my cell phone vibrating in my pocket. My heart starts to race and my hands get all sweaty. Anne notices that something is wrong and puts her hand on mine. I slowly lean down to my bag and look at the cell phone screen. There's a message from my mother. I take a deep breath and start to read.