Aelberth

The return trip was shorter than the outward journey, although perhaps that was an impression given by the alcohol circulating in our systems. We had all drunk a little, but fortunately only Walthari had gotten really drunk, otherwise we would have had to stay much longer and seriously risk being discovered. The boy was being supported by Regimund, who had been the first to lose at dice when we played after lunch. I felt a little sorry for him, but not enough to put myself in his place and suffer Walt’s stinking breath and occasional retching.

"I swear, the boar aimed right at me. My father and Athalwulf were pelting him from all sides, and yet he continued to charge at me undaunted," Gairowald said.

"Did he think you were a female and wanted to mount you?" Fridurik replied, chuckling.

"You do look quite a bit like one," I added.

Gairowald was about to reply, when suddenly a lynx appeared in the middle of the path. The animal with the pointed ears and spotted fur had something in its mouth that I initially mistook for its own cub, but then I realized that it was instead a dead wolf cub.

We could only see it for a moment, before the lynx leaped back into the vegetation and disappeared, so quickly that it almost seemed like an apparition.

"What was that?" asked Regimund, who was behind and had not seen much.

"It was a lynx," I said, my voice a little uncertain. Even though they were elusive animals, I had seen them before, but I felt unsettled at that moment.

"Did it happen to have a wolf cub in its mouth?" he asked.

Lynxes sometimes attacked wolf cubs, especially if the mother was absent, weak or dead, but it gave me a shiver.

"Come on, it's getting late," Fridurik said, starting to walk again. I stood there for a moment, watching the bushes, before following him along with the others.

After a while we finally reached the fence, but we didn't get close right away. There was a guard post at its corner, so to avoid being seen we went past it and followed the forest’s edge for a while longer, until we were about halfway between the first and second posts.

The fence was little more than a series of logs stuck into the ground, but they extended out to close off the valley like a cork. It wasn't easy to check every single spot, and we had found one where some of the posts had bent, creating an opening big enough to allow us to pass through unseen and unscathed.

Once inside we separated, each going our separate ways. Regimund would probably drop Walthari off in the first bush he saw, where he would have to deal with it on his own to explain the state he was in. I meanwhile started to climb up to the pastures.

Guarding the sheep was a long job and you could stay there for hours, so I counted on them not coming to check for a while longer, allowing me to send Alrik to do something else and take his place without anyone knowing.

As I climbed through thickets and rocky areas I wondered what my brother had been doing the whole time. He probably fell asleep and in the end he had Sygymar's dog do everything. Maybe he went off to play with the other children, and then maybe I could blackmail him, so I could be sure he wouldn't tell Dad.

It took me a long time to climb up that way, but when I got to the pasture where I had left the sheep I didn't find Alrik.

Comargos was sitting on the rock where I had left my brother, with the shepherd's crook placed next to him and the fife between his lips, with which he was playing a tune. When he saw me, however, he immediately lowered the musical instrument, stood up and ran towards me.

"Where the hell were you?" asked the boy.

"That’s my business, but why are you here? Where is my brother?"

"Your father came looking for you. He was furious when he didn't find you here," he said. His words were like a bucket of cold water that made even the last remnants of the effect of the alcohol go away.

"Why the hell did he come here? I thought he wouldn't look for me all day," I asked him, agitated.

"Your grandmother wanted to see you and your brother. I have no idea why, but from the way Householder Hildiric was acting, it didn't seem like she simply wanted a visit from her grandchildren," he replied.

At that moment I wondered what I should do. By now I had been discovered and there was nothing I could do to hide. Should I go straight to Grandma, so as to perhaps delay the outburst I was sure was coming?

I was about to tell Comargos when suddenly a huge hand grabbed my shoulder, so big and strong it felt like a bear’s paw. Magnerich was looking down on me from his height, a stern look on his bearded face that made me feel as small as a mouse.

“You are in serious trouble, boy,” he said, making my knees weak.

The man looked up at his son, who flattened himself against the rock, raising his hands.

“I just met him, I swear to the gods,” Comargos said, flustered.

Magnerich nodded, then tightened his grip on my shoulder and pushed me toward the group of houses of our lineage, where I knew my father was waiting. It was rather humiliating to be pushed all the way home with everyone watching, but I figured that was part of the punishment.

When we entered the cabin my father was talking to my mother while Alrik sat at the table, his head and shoulders down although I couldn't see his face as he sat with his back to the door.

My father whirled around when he heard the door open and his gaze darkened into a mask of dark anger when he saw me.

"Where the hell were you, Berth!" my father barked.

"I went with friends to drink and jump in the pond, okay?" I said. There was a small pond down in the valley so I hoped the excuse would hold. It was bad enough, if he knew I had also come out of the valley it would have been worse.

It seemed to work because my father looked up briefly at my red hair which was still a little damp before looking back down at my face.

"Why did you leave? I gave you a job."

"Sheep herding is tedious. Why did I have to do it?" I asked.

"Following sheep can be boring, yes, but it teaches you patience, and most of all, the responsibility of having people trust you with leading," my father said.

"So I was right to foist it on Alrik," I muttered.

My father frowned, but instead of scolding me further, he glanced at my mother, as if silently asking her what he should say. My mother didn't answer and instead stared down at my father with her golden eyes, with a look that seemed to tell him to deal with this another time.

"Listen, Grandma really wanted to talk to you. I'll think about your punishment later, but you have to go to her first," my father said.

"What did she want to tell me?" I asked.

"I don't know, she didn't talk to me," he admitted.

"If she didn't talk to you, then who?" I asked, although the answer came to me as I formed the sentence.

My father looked at Alrik, and I looked at him too. The boy's eyes were red and his face was flushed, as if he had just cried a lot. He looked away and didn't say anything.

"So?" I pushed him, feeling more and more impatient.

"Grandma... Grandma said that... 'a person's value is not in their role in destiny,'" he finally said.

The words were like a slap. I felt my heart race and the anger rise from my chest and spread to every part of me.

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean!" I screamed, lunging at him.

My father grabbed me, preventing me from reaching my brother who had by then slumped back in his chair.

"Calm down!" my father ordered.

"I'm not calming down!" I shouted, grabbing my father's hands and pushing him away with all the force of my anger. "Why? Why are you all focused on him? Alrik is a fucking child. He's my little brother!"

"Please Berth, calm down," my mother said. "You don't know what she meant-"

"She basically said I wouldn't matter!" I interrupted.

"She didn't say that."

"She did! It’s a fucking consolation for someone insignificant!"

I ran out of the house, where it felt like the entire village was staring at me and whispering to each other. I couldn't stand their gaze and ran away, avoiding Magnerich who tried to grab me, ducking between the huts and into the pastures.

As I ran through the green grass and herds of animals I realized I was heading upwards. I didn't know why I had run that way, but I kept running in that direction, driven by anger and frustration.

Why? Because Alrik was so special? Why did he further torment me by saying those things?

I ran as fast as I could, even though I was uphill and even when I felt my chest burning. I didn't stop even when I climbed the stairs carved into the stone. Finally I reached the top, my eyes burning and my legs shaking from the effort.

I turned down and dried my eyes, almost thinking that they had followed me, but there was no one below me. I remembered belatedly that my father had also told me to go to her, and so he could have told Magnerich to let me go. But even if he hadn’t, I doubted that the old man’s bulk would have been able to keep up with me.

I turned up again, to where my grandmother's hut was, and climbed with long strides despite my tiredness.

When I had started that wild running I thought I had let off some of my anger, but when the cabin appeared between the trees I felt it rising again. I sped up my pace until I was right in front of the door.

I knocked loudly, but no one answered from inside. I tried a second time, but when I received no answer again I went in, since if Wallia didn't answer grandma was too weak to make herself heard.

As I expected the interior was empty and silent, the fire had been put out, but there was still the cooking pot on top. At the end was the bed, and grandma's white head was sticking out from under the covers.

For a moment I hesitated when I saw her there, but then I realized it was stupid for me to worry about waking her up, and I went to her bedside.

"Grandma, we need to talk," I said, less harsh than I had meant to be.

My grandma didn't answer, remaining still in the same position, lying on her back with her face towards the ceiling, her eyes peacefully closed.

"Grandma, it's Berth. I'm here," I said louder, thinking she might not have heard me.

The old woman didn't answer again, and this time I felt a gnawing fear in my chest, and all the anger I had had up until that moment quickly deflated.

I shook her lightly, hoping to wake her, but instead her head fell to the side, her neck offering no resistance. I tried to pinch her nose, but the skin was cold to the touch and no air could pass through it.

She was dead.