CW in the Description

Hours passed between Aunt Val’s visit and Lee combing through the book again. Their father had dropped off a sandwich and some chips and Lee had done their best to pick at it until they felt satisfied with the amount they had eaten. Alice was curled up next to Lee asleep and they were using the dim light of a keychain flashlight to try and read through their mother’s book. They had waited patiently as the sun set outside and the shadows stretched into the room. It was only when Alice was asleep that Lee was comfortable taking the book out. In the past few days when Lee attempted to reach into their bag for the book Alice would immediately begin to complain about it. Every time Lee tried to look up anything they remembered from the book or about spells and magic in general, Alice would take notice and another fight would take place. Lee had felt like something was off with her lately. But then again, Alice had always wanted Lee’s attention, almost constantly. Lee could think of several times that Alice would try and force herself to be the center of Lee’s attention. 

They thought back to a time in 8th grade. Lee had been invited to the 8th grade dance by a boy in their class. Lee had accepted but only because they had known him from art class, and he had become something of a friend. They would often sit next to each other, comment on the art pieces they were making and offering advice when asked. After days of Alice teasing the two about the new budding ‘romance’, they made it clear to her and each other that they were attending the dance as friends. Even still, the boy, maybe ‘Jayden’ or ‘Justin’, Lee couldn't remember, had brought up making matching flower accessories. The two had planned to meet up the weekend before the dance to make them at a local park. It had gone well and the two were proud of their creations, Lee had made a bracelet while their friend had made a pin he could attach to his dressshirt, and Lee left it safely on their desk. On the day of the dance Lee was unable to find it anywhere, and their “date” had been upset about the issue. 

When they arrived at the dance Lee saw Alice wearing the bracelet that Lee had made and she stole Jayden/Justin away for the night. Lee had tried to find them but it seemed like every time Lee got close Alice would whisper something in the boy’s ear and she would pull him away. Lee ended up hugging the walls, not dancing and feeling self conscious. That night had already been stressful enough, Lee had forced themself into a dress, even worn makeup and it all felt so heavy on them, they had felt exposed. All Lee had wanted to do was attend the dance with a couple of friends and enjoy their time together but they had ended up alone. Though at the end of the night they remembered Alice sitting on the steps outside of the school gym holding Lee while they were sobbing. Wait, I thought I had been upset about wearing a dress? Lee thought. Not about being left alone.

Lee Looked down at Alice next to them. She was curled up on her side facing Lee, a soft smile on her lips as her chest rose and fell in a slow rhythm. Her dark brown hair lay like tendrils around her head slightly swaying in the air. Carefully Lee lowered themself off of the bunk bed and sat curled up in their chair in front of their desk. They fished into one of the lower drawers and pulled out an older model smartphone with cracks across the screen. It took a moment to charge but when the screen flashed to life they opened the photo app and looked through the pictures there. 

Many were of Lee and Alice, most of them really, but Lee had not noticed just how many other people were popping up in the photos, people Lee barely remembered knowing. But looking at them now little glimpses of recognition flooded Lee’s mind. Many of them were nameless but Lee could remember a few in detail after seeing their faces. Lexi, a girl they had known in middle school who was the only other feminine presenting person in the woodshop class they shared in 7th grade. Arty, a nerdy kid who had glasses that swallowed half of his face, had sat next to Lee in 8th grade English and they passed notes back and forth. Scrolling to the end of freshman year, right before Lee had received a new phone, they were shocked to see a photo of Lee, Alice and Hannah. The three of them were smiling in swim tops at the Lake that was just off of a hiking trail close to the entrance of the woods. It had been the farthest Lee had dared to enter the woods since their mother had passed away but it was close enough that if you looked uphill at just the right spot, you could see the parking lot. Memories came flooding back. That was the day that Alice told Hannah about the ghosts. 

Hannah and Lee had swam out in the lake and were splashing each other. Alice had never been a strong swimmer so she was hanging in the shallows by the rocks that were placed like stepping stones at the side of the lake. She had been upset that they'd wandered off farther without her. The two had decided they would race back to Alice so they could give her company but also feed their desire to swim in the cool water. The water in the lake was very clear and Lee could see all the way to the bottom where the weeds had been growing, reaching up at the promise of sunlight. Lee dived down and tried their best to swim quickly determined to defeat Hannah but something under the water drew their attention. It was a boy, not much older than Lee had been at the time, sitting at the bottom of the lake, maybe 30 feet below them. He had his knees tucked to his chest and his blond hair floated around his head in a halo. Lee couldn't place why it felt so weird for him to be down there until they saw fish swim through him. He looked up and his eyes fell on Lee and widened as he realized that Lee had been looking at him. 

He began to float up to Lee and they panicked. At the time they were not as used to ghosts as they would have liked. They already had been pushing their anxieties by being in the woods but a ghost just being there, one they knew would not leave them alone, that they would have to pretend to ignore for the rest of the day, that Lee would be wondering where in the lake his body was, it was too much. They had already lost the race to Hannah but they swam as quickly as they could to the shore, hoisted themself up and dashed for the sand where their towel was. After calming down for a moment they returned to Alice, who was sitting alone at the rocks. Hannah had gone to find the restrooms and Lee took the opportunity to tell Alice about the boy in the lake. 

That was the day that Alice told Hannah that Lee could see ghosts. She had waited until Lee had wandered to the restrooms themself and by the time they got back to the small group, Hannah and Alice were already teasing them. It started out lighthearted until Lee confronted Hannah and confirmed the situation as true and serious. Yes, they really saw ghosts, they were real. Hannah had scoffed at them and the day quickly came to an end after that. The following week at school with summer visible on the horizon, Hannah began to tease Lee and spread the rumors. 

Lee’s face was red as they sat in their chair seething. And still, after all of that, after all of the bullying, Alice was friends with Hannah for years afterwards. Their blood was boiling. Why had they pushed that down? Why had they stopped talking to all of these people? They thought back and it all felt so muddled. Had these people really been their friends? How long after meeting Alice did they taper off? What if… what if Alice was the reason they had felt so lonely?

Lee clasped thier hands around thier shoulders forcing slow calming breaths. If they wern't careful they would start screaming at Alice, a quiet house and questions of thier sanity be damned. They stood and fished on the side of the bunk for their phone, their current phone, and popped it off of the charger where it had been hiding for a few days. They sat back down at their desk and took a deep breath opening their messages. It wasn't as many as they had thought. There were a few missed calls from their father and one from Aunt Val. Lee assumed that she had tried to call before speaking to them in person. A few were from I’Ksha though, she didn't leave any voicemails. Lee took a deep breath and held it a moment. Slowly they released it as they opened I’Ksha’s texts. 

I:  Holy shit that was crazy where did you go are you ok?

November, 12, 2019, 1:32am

I: Lee its been like an hour did you make it home are you ok?

November, 14, 2019, 2:49pm

I: you weren't at school today, the councilors said your dad called in for you. I'm glad you're home but I really wish you had told me I was worried.

November, 15, 2019, 10:13 am

I: Lowkey, this class is kinda boring without you here. Hannah came back today and I was looking forward to some drama. 

November, 15, 2019, 11:11 pm

I: Lee i would really like to talk to you, please text or call me, it is ok

“It is ok”? Lee felt like that couldn't be true. Why after what happened would I’Ksha actually be worried about them? She had been looking forward to Lee coming back to class? Lee placed the phone on the table and rubbed their eyes with their cold fingers.the cool sensation felt nice on their puffy eyes. They felt their phone buzz on the table and looked down

I: Hey… you ok?

Shit. Lee forgot they had read receipts on.