He was agitated, so it was likely he had come running, looking for me.

I winced and jumped up.

So much time had passed that it felt unreal, and my emotions were all mixed up. I wanted to jump into his arms, but I also wanted to hit him. I wanted to kiss him and take him with me, but I also wanted to push him away and scream at him never to come back.

Instead, I just watched him.

Why did he come all the way here? The last time should have been our last conversation, but now he was here again, just when I was starting to feel it far away, just when it stopped hurting.

Without warning, Matt came closer and wrapped his arms around me. Almost instinctively, my arms went around him and my heart began to pound.

He held me tightly, and I could see that he had missed me as much as I had missed him. All the conflicting feelings vanished at once, and I buried my face in his chest, inhaling that scent I had almost forgotten.

He was truly here, holding me in his arms, bringing with him all the feelings I had begun to leave behind.

We stayed like that for about a minute until, as if he had come to his senses, he slowly let go.

As soon as we separated, he looked me in the eyes.

"Alex," he said, running a hand along my cheek. My name still sounded beautiful on his lips.

"...Hi," I replied, feeling my hopes rise.

He stopped caressing me and lowered his hand, a conflicted look appearing on his face.

He released my arms and took a step back.

"Have you been okay?"

I swallowed, without taking my eyes off him.

"Yeah, I think so. And you?"

"Yeah, same..."

We were both lying, I knew it. But we could not just say we had missed each other, because that would be a low blow.

We looked at each other for a while without saying a word, as if appreciating each other's faces for the long time we hadn't seen each other.

That brought a small smile to my face, and I could see Matt's expression soften at the sight.

Suddenly, he gritted his teeth and looked away.

"Uh, Daerim... She told me she ran into you."

Daerim. That woman's name was Daerim.

With just that, I remembered everything and stopped smiling. For a minute, I had felt like everything would be alright, foolishly clinging to hope.

"Yes, we did," I replied simply.

"Are you... okay?" he asked, his eyes filled with concern.

"I-I guess so." I had no idea where he was going with his question.

"I mean, aren't you...?" He paused, considering what he was about to say. Suddenly he just let out a frustrated sigh, bringing his hand to his head. "Are you really... okay with all this?" He lowered his gaze and hand, making a fist. 

His question took me by surprise.

Did he really just ask me that?

My breathing became rapid. Slowly, I felt anger rising inside me.

Without even thinking, I stepped forward, facing him.

"Do you think I am?" I said, raising my voice and taking another step toward him. "Do you think I'm okay, after you overnight paired up with another omega and got her pregnant, even though we'd been together for six years, and now you're even going to another country?! Do you think any normal person would be okay after all that happened to them?!" I shouted, not caring that tears were streaming down my face with every word.

His first reaction was shock, taking a step back, probably because of my pheromones. I did not remember ever raising my voice at him before. I had always accepted everything in silence because I loved him too much. But his stupid question had made me explode.

He made a gesture of pain that broke my heart, but I could not help but say everything that was on my mind.

"You have no idea," I said, lowering my voice, trying to hold it back. "You have no idea how much it hurts. How much it's hurt, all this time."

He tried to move closer, but I took a step back.

"So—" I paused, quickly wiping away my tears. "You have no right to ask me that," I declared.

He remained silent, unsure how to respond.

"...I'm sorry," he finally said.

"I'm tired of hearing your apologies," I said, still angry.

"Alex, I..." He reached out a hand toward me, but I pushed it away. I did not want him to touch me anymore.

He lowered his hand and furrowed his brow, a gesture of pain in his face.

He remained silent for several seconds.

"I know... It was me who was wrong," he began. "But you weren't the only one who has suffered, Alex." He looked up at me, and I could see his crystal-clear eyes as if he were going to break at any moment. "Every day, I can't help but think about you. You appear in my mind morning, noon, and night."

A tear rolled down his cheek, and I felt my lower lip tremble.

"I have you deep engraved in me, and I will always suffer the consequences of what I did." He lowered his gaze and blinked rapidly. "I swear, if I could turn back time, I wouldn't hesitate. Because my only purpose in life since I met you was to make you happy. But instead, I only hurt you."

I started to shake my head and took a step back.

"Please stop, don't say any more." My voice cracked.

I did not want to hear it, because it was making the goodbye so much harder.

"I just... You don't know how angry I am with myself, how powerless I feel for having been such an idiot to let myself be carried away by my stupid nature. For leaving you there, abandoned. So much helplessness at not being able to be with the person I love." He declared, saying the last part in a low voice.

I winced in pain.

"For God's sake, Matt. Enough," I begged, moving closer to him and hitting his chest.

He took my arms and pressed a kiss to my head. I could hear him sucking heavily.

We stayed like that while I cried, unable to stop.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked between sobs, looking at his feet and feeling his pheromones fill my nose. "You're hurting me, so please, stop."

He fell silent and began to caress my arms.

"I'm sorry, forgive me, Alex. I'll stop, I'll stop now, just don't cry like that anymore." He rested his head on mine. "I don't know why I'm being so selfish with you. It's just... I don't want to lose you, I don't feel capable of forgetting you." Matt was sobbing too.

I did not feel capable of forgetting him either, but I did not tell him because I felt it would be wrong. And now he was the one saying it.

I made fists with both hands and gave him a little push to make him let go.

We had to put an end to this, and we would not do it if I just let Matt keep saying everything that was in his heart.

"Don't say those things anymore." I looked up at him, meeting his eyes. "It's not fair. Not to me, not to your omega, not to your baby on the way."

What had happened was not anyone's fault; it was just fate playing dirty with us. But right now, Matt was being very unfair.

I had not been able to stop blaming them both all this time for giving in to their natures, especially Matt. But I had to let them go.

"What I said earlier... I just let out what was stuck in my heart, because I'm too angry and hurt. I'm sorry about that," he made a move to come closer, but I put a hand between us to stop him, looking down at his feet. "Just... Go to South Korea with her and start over," I said, sobbing. She seems to be a good person, so just go with her."

I did not want to look him in the eyes anymore because I knew the kind of expression he was making.

"Alex..." He stopped talking and swallowed hard. "I'm so sorry... I know I shouldn't say things like that anymore, I know it very well. I'm sorry I always end up hurting you, for being so selfish and hurting you like this every time we see each other."

"Yes, you're hurting me," I declared, trying to stop him. "But it's okay, there's nothing we can do now." I lifted my face to his and tried to smile, but I just could not stop feeling sad.

"I'm sorry..." he apologized again.

I knew very well that it would not be easy for him to forgive himself for what had happened, but I hoped that someday he would be able to do so.

After a while, he sipped and wiped his eyes.

"God, I don't want you to stay on your own, it's too dangerous."

It occurred to me that he must have thought about that the time he left me alone on the street, but I decided to stay silent.

"I'm not on my own. I found... kind of a home here," I replied, remembering the café owners and John, who treated me as one of their own family. I felt that I would be fine as long as I stayed with them. 

His face softened.

"That's a relief," he said with a sad smile. "I will always... I'll always have all our memories in my heart. And you, as my first and only love. I'm so sorry... for not being able to be a part of your future like I promised. I can say that much, can't I?" He tried to smile through his sobs, breaking down again but trying to hold it together.

I could not answer because the lump in my throat prevented me. So many memories, so many feelings, along with his words, made me sink deeper and deeper.

I had never seen Matt cry so much, not even during our first meeting after what happened. It hurt to see the person I loved break down like that.

I moved closer and placed my hands on his cheeks, pulling him toward me. I resisted the urge to kiss him, so I just pressed our foreheads together and we stayed like that, the tears flowing freely.

I wanted to still belong to him. I wanted to stay by his side, but I could not be that selfish, so I kept everything I wanted to say to myself.

"It's okay, we'll be okay," I whispered.

Matt placed his hands on my wrists and pulled his head back slightly, nodding several times as he trembled, before letting it fall back onto my forehead.

He slowly brought his face closer, as if wanting to kiss me. My heart began to pound, longing for it, but at the last moment he turned away and kissed my cheek before pulling me into a tight embrace again, pressing my head against his.

We both knew that this would be the last time we would see each other, that it would be a farewell perhaps forever.

I wrapped my arms around his back again and held him tight, keeping us like that.

I savored the moment, filling myself with those pheromones I knew so well.

When he calmed down, he slowly let go of me and I backed away too, taking a few steps back and sitting on the bench, tired of crying and suddenly feeling weak.

Matt did the same, seemingly feeling the same way I did.

We were silent for a while.

"We're leaving in a week," he said suddenly, taking a swig. "You can come home after that. Oh, and the... The credit card isn't mine, it's your father's. He gave it to me for you, even though he said I shouldn't tell you."

Had my father done that?

I wanted to ask him about it, but it was not the right time. I would not get another chance, but it did not matter.

He was silent for a second, as if trying to remember something else.

Suddenly, he smiled slightly.

"Right, thanks... for the birthday greeting, happy belated birthday to you too. I couldn't..." I saw he wanted to say more, but then he just sighed. "That's... That's all."

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a key. He held it out to me, and I looked at it for a moment, then glanced at Matt.

Our eyes met, and I smiled as best I could; he smiled back.

I reached out and he placed the key there, but I did not turn to look. I was lost in those hazel eyes I had loved for so many years, while he was lost in mine as well.

He ran a hand along my cheek, wiping away a tear.

He swallowed hard and lowered his hand, looking away. I blinked a few times and lowered my gaze.

Before standing up, he affectionately stroked my head.

"Goodbye, Alex. Please take good care of yourself."

"Goodbye, Matt."

Farewell, my alpha.

He gave me one last look and started walking away, his hands in the pockets of his coat.

I followed his back until he was so far away I could no longer follow him.

He kept getting farther and farther away, only this time it would be forever.