"Good morning, my alpha."

Alex had a tender smile as he looked down at me, sitting next to me and leaning towards me.

The daylight streaming through the window bathed him completely. He looked beautiful, like every morning.

I reached out and touched his cheek, and he rested his hand on mine, closing his eyes and enjoying my touch.

I tried to say good morning, but my voice would not come out.

Suddenly, everything went dark.

And I opened my eyes.

I rested my forearm on my forehead and sighed.

My face felt wet, where tears had found their way.

That dream repeated itself over and over, and every morning I woke up with my heart aching.

I turned toward where Alex, my omega, should have been.

Instead, I saw Daerim's sleeping face. I ran a hand along her cheek, and she winced.

That brought a small smile to my face.

Every time I saw her, I felt as if my soul were whole, as if I only needed her to live.

But even so, it was not enough, because she was not the person I loved.

I was not sure if I would ever love her, but she was my partner now.

And she was not a bad person, so that did not rule out that possibility.

I sighed and my gaze was fixed on a blind spot.

With every memory of Alex—his excitement when I came home from work, his smile as he watched me eat what he had cooked for me, his pouting whenever I could not cuddle him because I was busy with some report, his loving glances that he claimed I did not notice, his face while I made love to him—every detail about him was engraved in my mind, and they came to me in the form of dreams, and sometimes, they hit me hard.

There were times when I would simply broke down, completely devastated by not having him by my side anymore.

At first, Daerim was very worried, but as time went on and she saw that the same thing kept happening, she would just place her hand on my back, then hug me and stroke my head, like a little boy who had lost the most important thing in his life.

And that is exactly what it was.

I had lost Alex, who was my everything.

Daerim had been incredibly understanding with me during all this time, because he knew I was suffering and torturing myself every single day.

I still could not understand how I had been so foolish as to let myself be  carried away by my nature, just because fate had brought me together with someone who, at that moment, was a complete stranger.

I had hurt the only person I had ever genuinely loved, and I would never forgive myself for that.

That was my worst mistake, and then they just kept coming one after the other.

Leaving him completely alone on the street, forgetting my phone in the jacket I had left with Daerim when I went to look for him, not calling him as soon as I got it back the next morning, not sending him that message that was still saved on my phone.

The next time I saw him, he was still just as beautiful, but he was hurt.

I was worried, but I could not just treat him the way I always had, because I had hurt him and I could see it in his eyes, so I just could not ask anymore.

I held back the urge to hug him, and as soon as he took my hands and started talking, I felt like something broke inside me, and I ended up crying in front of him.

I thought that was the end of it all, but a few days ago I saw him again, three months after our last encounter. I felt a mix of emotions; I had missed him so much that this time I could not help but hug him, and feeling him in my arms again made me feel whole.

But in the end, I ended up saying a lot of unnecessary things because of my selfishness.

One mistake after another.

I took a lock of Daerim's hair and watched it slip through my fingers.

She was sleeping peacefully. I was not sure if it was because of our connection, our predestined bond, but I always felt the need to have her close and protect her.

I repeated the process, my mind wandering through memories.

"Matt?"

Daerim's sleepy voice pulled me from my thoughts, and I gave her a weak smile.

"Good morning."

Her black eyes stared at me blankly; she probably knew what I had been thinking until now. She raised a hand and wiped away one of my tears with her finger.

"Sorry," I apologized, since she had had to wipe it for me. "Would you like some breakfast?"

She sighed and shook her head.

"What time is it?"

"It's still early," I replied, glancing up at the clock on the wall.

"Okay, let's stay here a little longer."

She came closer and snuggled against my chest. I put my arm around her, and we stayed like that.

My whole being screamed that she was the one, only my heart disagreed.

Half an hour later, I got up and made breakfast. I took it to her in bed and went to shower for my last day of work.

I said goodbye to her and caressed her belly, where my little daughter was.

Before going home, I went for a drink with some co-workers, like I did whenever the memories of Alex became too much to bear. And it was my last day here, after all.

When I got back, a little tipsy, Daerim came to the door and silently helped me to bed.

This time, she looked different than usual for some reason.

I sat on the bed, staring into space. Daerim bent down to take off my shoes, and I helped her, because I knew she would not hear me if I told her not to worry. Suddenly, she stood up and placed both hands on my cheeks, lifting my face to look into her eyes.

"Enough." She sounded angry but also sad, because I could see tears threatening to come out. "He's not here anymore, and he'll never be here again. But I am, we are." She took a breath and continued to gaze at me. "You can't go on like this. I don't want to see you like this."

Her lower lip trembled, and I felt the urge to stand and hug her.

"We've already decided to go to South Korea," she continued. "Let's just go and start over, please"

What I had noticed during all this time we had been together was that Daerim was quite strong. I was not sure if it was because she was a few years older than me or if that was just how she was, but she was truly mature. And right now, she was holding back tears as best she could.

Her request to go to South Korea a few weeks ago had been the first thing she had asked me since we met five months prior.

I agreed because Daerim was right; this place tied me to Alex and everything we had experienced together, and if we stayed, we could not simply forget it all.

We needed a new place to start over, just the three of us.

I glanced down at her belly.

Ever since I met Alex, I had longed to start a family with him.

When we first met, I could not believe how beautiful someone could be. As we talked, I realized his beauty was not just on the outside.

We were just kids back then, but that did not stop us from falling in love.

Soon after, I asked him out, and he excitedly accepted, blushing deeply.

He was finally my Alex, my omega.

From then on, we practically grew up and matured together, side by side. That is why, when I learned about the situation at his house, I decided I had to take him with me. My parents agreed after a long discussion, and that is why I started working, just for him.

During all that time, I could not believe how he could look prettier every day, so much so that I wanted to lock him away and not let anyone see him, for fear they would take him away from me.

And in the end, I had been the one who had ruined everything.

I had even imagined us with children running around in a big house I would buy after starting my own company, with enough money so they would not lack anything.

But now all that was in the past, moments that only existed in my memories and nothing more.

Now, I had to face reality.

I was going to have a daughter, and it would not be with Alex.

But she was my daughter.

So, what kind of father did I want to be for her?

I did not feel capable of doing anything, and for the first time, I felt the weight of my age.

Twenty years old.

I was only twenty, and I started to get scared. I felt like all of this was too much for me.

"Matt!" Daerim was frowning now. "I said enough." Her tone was restless, as if she wanted to pull me out of the deep, dark, bottomless pit I was in. "I'm here," she continued. "We're here. So please, don't get lost anymore. Come back here. Let's just go to South Korea and start a new life, together. Let's become worthy parents to our daughter. I don't want her to see you like this when she's born. It wouldn't be fair."

I watched her, trying to process what she was saying.

She was right.

I had been missing out on everything. My daughter was due to be born in a few months, and I had not been fully present for her.

What kind of father did I want to be? I wanted to be someone worthy, a father she could be proud of.

I reached out to Daerim and caressed her cheek.

"Forgive me, Daerim," I whispered to her, then lowered my gaze to her belly. I placed my hands on her waist and rested my forehead against her belly, tears threatening to spill. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Daddy will do better, I promise." The sobs would not stop. Daerim took hold of my back and let out a long sigh, surely feeling relieved.

Seconds later, she began to sob too.

Alex, my lovely omega. 

I have to say goodbye now, because otherwise, I would not be able to give my all so that my future princess has the life she deserves, with a home full of love.

I still love you, and perhaps I always will, my little omega.

But it is time to say goodbye.