With everything that happened in the last few months, I completely stopped going to class. I was only there when Aria needed me. I am aware that I abandoned her, but I believe that someone who is unwell cannot help someone else get better. Don't you agree?

Before stopping classes completely, I tried to ask for help. The prefect took advantage of my weakness to put even more pressure on me. I felt like I could never breathe for even five minutes. I managed to find help with an assistant at school. Unfortunately, she also betrayed me by telling my secrets to the prefect who hates me so much. He obviously told my brother about it, who was incomprehensible.

One more betrayal or one less, are we even close to that? My anxiety attacks continued every day, even though I wasn't going to class. I consulted my doctor because the blood in my vomit worried me a lot. She could think of nothing better than to tell me to be patient. Once again, I tried to find help, but no one is there for me.

I definitely don't talk to my father anymore, which creates tension at home. My mother is pressuring me to find a job this summer, but that's not really what I need. I don't have a choice because if I don't find one, I won't be able to pay my registration for next year. I also learned that she receives a scholarship and yet since I was 16, I'm the one who pays my registration.

When friends of mine talk to me about their parents, I'm jealous. Jealous of not having someone to turn to when I'm feeling down. Jealous of not having someone who wants the best for me. I guess it's supposed to shape me?

I have dark thoughts every day, and it's quite complicated. I applied to a few job offers for this summer. I'm not sure I'll get any answers, but you never know. My previous jobs weren't great so I hope to find better.

Let's look on the bright side, the school year is ending soon and I'm finally going to leave this school! I won't see Aria as much anymore but I don't really think I have a choice.

My parents thought I was going to class, but I was just walking around the streets. Tonight when I got home, my mother told me she's having an appointment with my prefect. I didn't feel anything at that moment. I think it had become a habit.

I would have loved to see a psychologist, but my mother is against it. She's afraid that a psychologist will negatively influence my sexuality because for her it's abnormal. I managed to lie to her by making her believe that it was just passing through and that things were better now and since then we haven't talked about it anymore.

I also learned that Aria had a boyfriend. I would have liked to learn it from her mouth. I also learned that she had revealed my secret to her boyfriend. As previously said, one more betrayal or less, are we even close to that?