"I've lost so much already, I can't afford to lose you too."

Chapter 16:
I can't lose him

CLARKE POV: 

Scarlet and I searched the most part around the camp area looking for Bell. It was as if he'd disappeared from this world. I have this awful feeling in my chest, like something strong is wrapping my heart and at every step we'd take I'd feel it tighten even more.

''Clarke-'' Scarlet called out for me and pointed towards one of the tree.

''What's-'' I stayed speechless. I looked down at the ground in front of the tree when the glimpse of a familiar material caught my eye. I crunched down and took the material in my hand only to recognize it as nothing other than Bellamy's now bloody jacket. My breathing quickened and my heartbeat arose. 

''Clarke, we need to find him now, come on.'' Scarlet placed a hand on my shoulder for comfort but it honestly didn't help at all.

''Scarlet he-'' I was cut off of my sentence due to the sobs my lips let go of. A couple of tears ran down my pale skin. 

''Clarke, he's alive. Trust me! Now come on and let's hurry up before his condition changes.'' I nodded in fear but also in agreement and we headed towards the deep and dark woods. 

Scarlet found someone's tracks so we followed with hope that they were Bell's. I looked down at my dad's watch and it read 3 o'clock at the morning. I was beyond tired but I couldn't stop now, not while he's out there. I feared we would be late, I feared that something happened to him while we searched or even before and that I'd never see his cocky smirk again, or laugh at his narcissism.That I'd never blush at his lame compliments, never hear the word princess again, never again be angry at someone for being so emotionless and careless or never again feel the warmth of his embrace. 
A new feeling started filling up my heart, this feeling was warm but yet hard as stone. It overwhelmed me at the moment and I had to regain my posture with holding on to the nearest tree around me. 

''Clarke, please promise me something.'' Scarlet said with a questionable but a very warm look. Her dark brown hair fell across her face perfectly. I couldn't believe such a beautiful girl ended up being one of the grounders. Well, now she is with us. Almost everyone accepted her but some of the 100 still need some time to adjust to this new land and people. 

''Mm?'' I mumbled.

''If we find him alive, please tell him how you feel.'' I looked at her with confusion but my eyes indicated something entirely else. ''Don't make the same mistake I did.'' I turned my questionable look towards her and she began explaining.

"Down here, with my clan, you'd fall in love about only once in your lifetime and I had that. I had it all but I never told him I loved him.'' I looked down while a single tear escaped my eye, dropping onto the ground. ''He died while fighting against Azgeda, the Ice Nation. He never knew how I felt. I can't stop thinking about it. The worst part is, he died protecting me from them and i didn't even get to say goodbye.. his body was never returned to us.'' She let a tear slip down her cheek but she quickly wiped it off with the sleeve of the dark hoodie the one of the 100 gave her. 

''I'm sorry.'' I said.

''Don't be, you have an opportunity to change that, you can prevent it from happening to you.'' She said calming herself down slowly. 

''I-'' I started but couldn't find the words to speak with.

''I know you might not realize it, but I see the way you look at him. There is something building up between you two and both of you know it.'' 

Is there something between us? I always thought of him as the one of the cocky ones, the fierce but emotionless leader. We grew closer by each day tho. Bellamy sort of just snuck up on me. Got under my skin.. He showed me a different side of him, the one I don't think anyone but Octavia knew of. 

***

We continued walking in silence,Scarlet was too busy tracking the footprints while I was too busy having my mind think of all the worst scenarios about Bellamy. My head was lowered down and my feet were getting tired. My stomach growled for hunger. We were running out of time, Bellamy could be somewhere slowly dying or already dead, there wasn't any time to stop for a break so I just took a bit of the raisins from my backpack that Monty and Jasper prepared as a snack when we'd send people on the little hunt trips. I offered them to Scarlet but she declined them with her grateful dark eyes and a head-shake. 

About 10 minutes later, Scarlet stopped within her tracks. She turned her head towards me in with a worried look then scanned our whole surroundings and again lowered her head towards the footprints who led towards the north side of the forest.
''What's wrong?'' I asked worryingly.

''He's not alone.'' She answered me, not turning her head to face my gaze.

''That- That can't be right? How could he be with someone? Are you thinking it's a grounder or something?'' My jaw dropped and I uncontrollably started turning my head looking for an answer or something to calm me. If he wasn't alone, that meant someone got to him before us! And I don't think they were very friendly.

''Trikru to be precise.'' She responded. 

''A what?'' 

''Trikru. My clan, they know who you are and when they saw him they must have took him for questioning. There's two options how this could go from now. We can find him dead in a ditch or we can try and save him from them, if he's even is with them, and probably get ourselves killed. Are you ready for either of those things?'' Scarlet asked me with worry on her face, she looked as if she had done this a thousand times, she was calm but yet so concerned about me.

''I'll fight if it comes to that. I'll die if I have to, but I'm going to get to him either way.'' I said determinedly. 

SCARLET POV: 

She was so strong,I admired her for that. Clarke was so determined to save him, to get him back and to see him, that for someone who's not supposed to love him, she is certainly doing a poor job at it. The love they share is something different and unique, I don't think either of them knows. But they do share a connection if anything. These two will become something extraordinary. I let a small smile slip from my lips but it quickly disappeared at the thought of her denied loved one, not surviving and not getting to hear the words of such emotion in the hopefully near future. My eyes drifted to Clarke and saw her in the state of nearly losing herself and breaking into the million pieces. We needed to hurry. 

Not more then 15 minutes we turned at the female scream not so far from us. Clarke and I both ran towards it and found the horrifying sight. Just near the cliff there was no other than Bellamy Blake himself, on the ground, covered in blood. Across from him was a woman I recognized from my village, Nia. Her head was covered in blood almost as to the point where you wouldn't recognize her by her features. I noticed her knife was missing. I turned around when Clarke yelled out Bellamy's name in pain. I looked down at her kneeling beside him and holding her hand to his throat, measuring for any pulse. The pulse didn't show but then did, it was weak but it slowly disappeared again. Tears fell down her cheeks uncontrollably. I shut my eyes and lowered my head. 'Yu gonplei ste odon, Bellamy kom skai kru.' I said to myself. Clarke was now on top of him, applying pressure on the wound Nia's knife has caused. Although nothing worked, she hasn't given up.

*

5 minutes have passed and she is still trying to get him back, crying effortlessly while performing everything she could think of to save him. I placed my hand on her shoulder but she just shook it off. His shirt was wet from her tears but the blood from the abdomen wound still flowed continually.

''Bellamy-'' Clarke cried out his name.

''Please wake up'' More and more tears started oozing out of her sky blue eyes. 

''Don't leave me, please.'' 

''Your people need you Bell. I ,need you.'' A tear rolled down my cheek while watching her loosing the person she barely knew she loved.

''I- Please come back to me-'' She begged, slowly losing hope and giving up.

''I don't know if I can do this without you Bellamy'' She shut her eyes and leaned in, placing her forehead on his,she brought her right hand up to his cheek and gently traced it across. You could say that if you collected all of her tears you could fill a pond with them. She was broken and he was gone.

''Bellamy-'' Clarke called out, her voice was cracking while she tried to stay in her right mind. ''I know you're in there, I know you can hear this and that's why I know you will wake up'' She spoke as if his lifeless body didn't lay just beneath her. 

She put her head on his chest, begging God to give him another chance in life. She tightened her grip on his shirt and held him in her arms. He was wrapped in her embrace. 

''I'm sorry-'' She continued, a tear fell from her cheek on his face. I couldn't watch this anymore.

''I-'' She breaks down, she can't even speak anymore. 

She wraps him around in the tighter embrace, holding on as if when she let's go it would be the end and she wasn't ready for that ending She didn't even say goodbye. I turn around, my eyes are wondering off to the forest and the never ending sobs continue to fill my ears. I look down at my sword which I have swore upon not to kill and I think, maybe if I hadn't come here there wouldn't be any death. People would still be safe. 

I will protect them with my life. 

I was preparing myself to tell Clarke it was time to let go, I was getting the strength to rip her apart from the embrace and an illusion she's making, the hope and faith of him waking up. Just before I turn around to face her I hear him gasp for air. I see Clarke laughing and pulling him closer into the embrace she already held him in. I thought to myself - Their love will conquer.

He's alive.