"Jason! Help me with the groceries!"

I briefly thanked god that the door separating the living room and the main hall was closed, so that my uninvited mother didn't catch me and Lex in a ... Compromising position.

"Coming mum!" I shouted at the same time the boy below me whispered "shit", pushing me off him and gathering his clothes, his hard on still very visible through his jeans. "Oh, I've got a friend round if ya wanna say hi" I shouted again to my mum, and the way lex looked at me - filled with fear and panic - was hilarious. 

"It better not be that girl! What her name?... Jessie? Or something like that" mum mumbled the last bit, and I felt bad for not even remembering Jessie, but apparently, my mum didn't like her. 

"Jessie Craven, the girl you shagged last month with the blonde dreadlocks" Lex whispered in my ear, not realising his proximity I jumped a mile in the air as he chuckled at me "Sorry, I could see your lack of braincells trying to figure out who she was" he snorted before starting his way towards the hallways door.

"Thank you... I think. Also, where are you going?" I whispered back to him, for some reason, whenever someone whispers at me I always feel the need to whisper back. 

"To help your mum dipshit" Lex rolled his eyes, and all I could do was stand there and watch his ass move closer to where my mum was, a devious smirk on his face as he gave me one last teasing look before opening the door - any previous anxiety he had had been replaced, his face no longer holding any vulnerability... He was back to being "Lex Fisk", and after what I'd seen today I wasn't sure if I liked this cocky side of him anymore. Not that I ever did. But before my lovely mum's interruption, and before our ... Sticky situation... He was so scared and fragile, he was so broken and I'd never seen that before, he'd accidentally let his walls down. And then I took advantage of that. By kissing him, pretty much immediately after he had a break down...

What the fuck is wrong with me.

"Jason! You're friend here has done all the work! Get your ass out here" mum shouted and I heard Lex snicker.

"Coming!"

~~~

"So... From what you've told me, Jason, Lex was supposed to be this absolute jerk that steps on your toes and practically bullies you. I've heard you when your on the phone talking about him" mum says. We're currently sitting in the kitchen with cups of tea, chatting about our days as per usual. Lex left around an hour ago, and I actually let him leave this time. "So please explain to me why this guy you hate so much is in our house, helping me with the groceries while you stand there with a dopey look on your face" she sips her tea and waits for my answer.

To be honest, I'm not entirely sure how to answer. I'm not sure how lex ended up in my house, after I invited him to help with a game plan I'd already made, which he definitely improved, and how we ended up kissing on my couch. And how we ended up kissing the first time and every time since. Not that I'm planning on telling my mother that.

"We just got chatting I guess" was my answer. Even though it was more so 'talking with tongue' or the opposite 'talking with fists'. I wonder what a normal conversation with Lex sounds like, not talking about football or girls, or how much me hate eachother, just life. Maybe one day I'll get to talk to him about that.

"Have you got anything to tell me, Jason?" Mum asked, a knowing glint in her eyes. And yet again I'm not quite sure what to tell her.

"Nope. Anyway, I better get back upstairs, I've got ... Stuff to do" I start to make my way back upstairs, and of course I don't actually have anything to do but I have the urge to escape this conversation.

"Not so fast mister" she laughs and I groan "I don't know what's going on, all I know is that something is going on and you don't want to talk about it. From what I know, lex is a very nice boy and he's the first friend you've had around that actually makes you smile. Not that tight lipped smile you have when the other are around, you had a genuine smile today. And thats all I ever want to see you have. So whatever you don't want to say, it's okay. I love you kiddo, and I'm sorry for showing lex your baby pictures" she laughed while placing a kiss on my forehead.

"Thanks mum, but nothing is going on" I lied through my teeth "love ya too" and then I pretty much ran away from her.

I wasn't gay. I wasn't in love with Lex. I barely even tolerated him still, it was only days like today where he was tolerable, and kissable. But Lex and I are not a thing. And yet my mum's words resonate with me, and remind me simultaneously just how stupid I've been to be so open with someone like lex Fisk. I can't keep doing this, he's still Lex and I'm still Jason. We hate eachother and we always have, he sleeps around and acts like he's above everyone and I hate him for it. But I also know that what I did today wasn't't okay, and this is the last thing I'll ever say to Lex.

Jasonmyers69: sorry for kissing you again today. This is the last time and I shouldn't have done it after you were in such a state. This game of gay chicken ends now.

TheHotOne_LF: typing...

TheHotOne_LF: K.

Jasonmyers69: That it? Just 'K'?

TheHotOne_LF: what do u want me 2 say? We're not even friends Jason.

Jasonmyers69: K.

TheHotOne_LF: K.

Jasonmyers69: K.

TheHotOne_LF: child.

Jasonmyers69: Piss off.

TheHotOne_LF: make me.

Jasonmyers69: see you at school.

TheHotOne_LF: K.

I know I could probably go back and fourth with Lex, but the stupid grin ony.face despite this being me setting a boundary is alarming. This really does have to stop. I'm done with Lex Fisk.

I hope.