The evening had crept up quickly, the fading light of day blending into the soft glow of streetlamps as the night took hold. It had been a long day—returning to the apartment, unpacking their things, and settling back into the routine of life that had never felt so heavy before. There was an undercurrent of tension, something unspoken between them, and neither Kai nor Alex seemed willing to address it directly. Instead, they both tried to slip back into the rhythms of normalcy, avoiding the conversation they both knew was coming.

But tonight, Alex had decided he wasn’t ready to deal with it. Not yet. 

He’d come back from the bar a little too late, a little too tipsy, the alcohol in his system making everything feel easier to handle, at least in the moment. He was trying to forget the lingering weight of the unspoken, the tension that still hovered in the air. Trying to forget that everything felt uncertain between him and Kai now.

Kai was sitting on the couch, his laptop open in front of him, trying to catch up on work—something Alex had always thought of as a constant in Kai's life, a way for him to anchor himself when everything else felt unstable. Kai’s head was bent over the screen, focused and unaware of Alex’s approach.

Alex hadn’t meant to get so drunk, but after a few beers, then a couple of shots, it was easy to lose track of how much he'd had. By the time he stumbled back through the door, he was buzzing, but not so much that he couldn’t see the look on Kai’s face when he glanced up.

"Alex," Kai’s voice was low, cautious, his eyes scanning him for any signs of something being off. "How much did you drink?"

Alex smirked, brushing off the concern like it was nothing. "A few drinks. I’m fine."

Kai raised an eyebrow, not buying it. "You're barely standing straight. You don’t look fine."

Alex’s lips tightened. "I’m fine, Kai. Quit acting like you’re my damn parent."

The words were sharper than he'd intended, but the alcohol made them come out of his mouth before he could stop them. Kai stiffened, his jaw clenching. He set his laptop aside, standing up and walking toward Alex with a purposeful stride.

"You’re *not* fine," Kai said, his voice firm, now tinged with frustration. "You’ve been drinking all night, and for what? To forget what happened between us? You think that’s going to fix it?"

Alex’s heart skipped, a familiar pang of guilt twisting in his chest. "I’m not trying to fix anything, Kai. Maybe I just wanted a fucking drink to get away from it all."

"From *what*?" Kai’s voice cracked, the frustration bleeding into something else—hurt, maybe even anger. "From me? From us? You can’t just keep running, Alex. You think getting drunk is going to solve any of this?"

Alex felt the room tilt, the pressure of everything they hadn't talked about settling heavy in his stomach. "You don’t get it," Alex shot back, his voice thick with emotion, his words slurring slightly. "You think I don’t know what’s going on? I’m *scared*, okay? This… this thing between us, it feels like it’s suffocating me, and I don’t know how to breathe in it. I’m just trying to make it through the goddamn day."

Kai’s eyes darkened, and his mouth tightened in a grim line. "So, what? You think running away from it is going to make it easier? You think getting wasted will solve any of this? It’s not going to work, Alex."

Alex took a step back, the heat of the argument suddenly too much for him to handle. "I don’t need you to lecture me," he snapped, his voice rising. "I don’t need you to *fix* me. I just need some space."

Kai stared at him for a long, tense moment, his fists clenched at his sides. His voice was tight, controlled, but it was clear the anger was bubbling under the surface. "You don’t get to push me away like this, Alex. You can’t just drink yourself into oblivion and pretend nothing’s wrong. We *need* to talk about this. You can’t keep ignoring it."

The words felt like they hit Alex in the chest, hard. It was as if everything he’d been avoiding was finally catching up to him. But the alcohol made his frustration burn hotter, made it harder to swallow the shame and uncertainty that had been eating at him all day. He felt cornered, suffocated, and without thinking, he snapped.

"Maybe I don’t want to talk, Kai!" he shouted, his voice cracking. "Maybe I’m tired of feeling like I’m walking on fucking eggshells around you, like I’m supposed to have all the answers and make everything okay!"

He was shouting now, the words tumbling out of him like a dam breaking, the frustration and fear spilling over. "I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to fix this. So don’t fucking tell me I need to *talk* about it. I can’t do this right now."

Kai’s face shifted, hurt flickering in his eyes before the walls came back up, a tightness settling over him. "I’m not asking you to fix anything," he said, his voice quieter but laced with frustration. "I’m asking you to *be honest*. You can’t just keep running from it, Alex. We can’t keep pretending it’s not there."

Alex’s chest heaved as the weight of his own emotions started to crash down on him, overwhelming him. The alcohol, the guilt, the fear of what had happened between them—it was too much. And in that moment, he couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t stay in this apartment, in this space, where everything felt like it was about to break.

Without thinking, he turned and bolted for the door.

"Alex!" Kai’s voice cracked through the tension, his tone desperate. "Where are you going?"

But Alex didn’t stop. His heart pounded in his ears, the sound of his own breath drowning out Kai’s calls. He needed to get out. He needed space. He needed to breathe.

He slammed the door behind him, the cool night air hitting his skin as he ran, his mind a chaotic mess of emotions. He didn’t know where he was going, but it didn’t matter. All he wanted was to get away from everything, to escape the weight of their words and the uncertainty that had settled between them.

As the sound of Kai’s voice faded behind him, Alex kept running, not sure when or if he would come back.