Zachary felt a lot of things during the rest of Leroy's stay. For one thing, he couldn't quite focus on what the man was saying anymore as shame and self-deprecation took over his thoughts.

Why did you think he was flirting with you? He wondered, mentally beating himself over the head. He had taken small cues and had run a mile with them, and now he couldn't undo any of it. He saw Leroy that way and he had to live with the painful fact that they would never reciprocate it.

Also, he felt like a pervert.

Well, sort of. His mind hadn't wandered that far, but it had wandered far enough. He'd imagined leaning closer, cuddling, and he'd started thinking far into the future about kissing and second base.

Well, that was daft of him, because he now had all that ingrained in his mind, and it was never going to happen. Plus, he now had the pleasure of feeling guilty occasionally anytime he caught a glimpse at Leroy and thought he was cute.

"I've never seen your sister," Leroy said out of nowhere, making Zachary look over at him. The older man sighed, resting his head back on the couch.

"Well, she has an out-of-town boyfriend now, and she's never really been here since that," Zachary said, and Leroy just hummed. "Though it's not like it's a bad thing. When she was here it wasn't like it was any better."

"Oh." Leroy's voice was low, but Zach could still sense the shock in its tone. He didn't want to sound like he disliked his sister—he didn't—it was that sometimes he had mixed feelings about her. She was about Leroy's age and had a fulfilling remote job and a boyfriend she always talked about. Zach remembered many times he couldn't leave his bedroom because she would have people over, and they would talk and laugh, and get dressed to head out to the club while he was stuck in his bedroom staring up at the ceiling with nothing in particular to do.

It wasn't that his sister wasn't helpful when it called for it. She'd been the one to drive him to the hospital, help him keep up with his medication, and look through every welfare and social security loophole that would keep him comfortable and not destitute.

It was just that sometimes Zach felt jealous. His sister had a fulfilling young adult life, and he didn't.

"Sorry, didn't mean to rag about my sister," the older man said, looking up at the ceiling. "It's just that she's really extroverted and when she was here there were just too many people..."

Leroy laughed. "Yeah. I think I understand that a bit."

"Do you have siblings?" Zach asked, perking up. He hadn't thought about that before—well, he didn't know much about Leroy in general.

Leroy nodded. "A sister, and a mum. My dad's not with us anymore." 

"I'm sorry—"

"It's okay. It's been a few years." There was a sniffle from Leroy. The younger man was frowning as if he was shocked that he was teary. "Three, to be exact. Cancer, the usual."

The attempt at bluntness didn't hide the small shake in Leroy's voice, and Zach wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. He ignored it, deciding that they weren't close enough for him to confront it head-on. If Leroy wanted to pretend like he was over it, he'd let him be—for now that is.

"I see..." Zachary trailed. "Do you get along with your sister? What about your mum?"

Leroy smiled, seeming to appreciate the change of topic. "Yeah. My mum's here and there. She retired from the air force a while back, and my sister—" Leroy started, shrugging his shoulder. "She does stuff here and there. Nails, hair, she takes art commissions—all that jazz. She stays at home too."

"Wow, I wish I could do stuff like that," Zach said, starting to think of Leroy's sister. He wondered if she was older or younger and if she looked like a gender-swapped version of her brother. If she did, she was absolutely stunning.

"Aren't you a writer?" Leroy said, snapping Zach out of his thoughts.

Zachary shrugged. "I went to school for it, I guess, but I haven't written fiction in a long time. I freelance doing copywriting and blog posts. I haven't really had time for anything else."

Zach knew the oddity of his statement. To everyone else, he had all the time in the world. He was living off government assistance and the little he made freelancing, and it wasn't like his schedule was booked, but there was something about being sick all the time that just made the time pass. He was always too tired or feeling too much pain. What did one do when typing took too long on the keyboard because it hurt? Or when the screen blurred so badly, they briefly thought they were blind? Writing novels wasn't really fun anymore, and he wasn't going to go through that all day every day not to make any money.

It was weird. His condition had gotten better in some ways and worse in others. He didn't use to have so many concentration and focus issues, but the pain in his joints and muscles had been a lot worse when he was younger. He missed writing. He used to record himself talking about his ideas for books and chapters and listen to them later when he felt strong enough to type anything up. But lately, there haven't been many opportunities for that, and he'd rather spend his brief time feeling well listening to an audiobook or reading.

"Huh," Leroy said, pulling Zach out of his thoughts. "I think I'd like to see something you've written someday—I mean if you're comfortable with it. I have a friend in my pathfinder group that writes but is always up in arms when you ask him to show you."

Leroy was laughing now, but Zach's ears perked up. Pathfinder? He loved that game.

"Err, what edition are you guys playing?" Zach asked, making Leroy look over at him in a mix of shock and curiosity. "Was just curious. I like the story material for the game," Zach added, hoping that would clear the confusion.

"No way," Leroy said, grinning from ear to ear. "I don't think I've met anyone in person who plays pathfinder."

What does he mean by in person? Zach was a bit confused.

"I play on discord with some people I met online." Leroy shrugged it off. "It's a bit of a hassle to organize online but we make it work."

"Oh, I see," Zach said, as Leroy started going on about the game. Zach listened enthusiastically. One; was because he liked the game. And two; was because it was quite a sight to see Leroy giddy and energetic. He spoke faster than normal and left sentences hanging here and there that he never went back to. Usually talking like this would give Zach a bit of a hard time, but it wasn't hard to follow what Leroy was saying.

Not one bit.

So, Zach let the man talk up until he let out a sigh of exhaustion after laughing about a gaming incident.

"It's getting late. I think I should head out," Leroy said, making Zachary's eyes turn to the clock ticking right above them. Gosh, it was almost ten.

"Yeah, it's late..." Zachary muttered, looking back at Leroy, who was now blinking slowly. He seemed a little tired, and his head was resting on the arm of the sofa now, with his legs sprawled on the floor and body awkwardly twisted on the couch.

"Okay, just give me like three minutes." Leroy raised a finger in the air, chuckling a bit before hoisting himself into an upright sitting position before standing up. He put on his shoes before picking up the office bag he'd had at the end of the sofa's wooden feet. He then tossed it over his shoulder and looked over at Zachary.

"I'll make it out by myself, don't worry," the younger man said when Zachary started to get up.

Zachary sat back down, feeling a little awkward. "Oh, okay."

"See you later," Leroy said, waking before turning around and heading for the front door. Zach felt his face warm up at that. There was going to be a 'later' and whenever that was, he was looking forward to it.

"Oh, I forgot," the younger man said, loading abruptly on his way to the door before turning around. "We don't have each other's numbers."

Zachary blinked, staring at Leroy as if he'd grown two heads.

He wanted his phone number. Was he being for real?

"Why?" Zachary took in a deep breath when he noticed he'd said that out loud.

Leroy stared at him with a raised brow before bursting into laughter. "I mean we could meet up just to talk all the time if that's what you want, I just thought texting each other would be a natural progression of friendship," the younger man said, still laughing as he shook his head in a way that made his hair bounce.

Zachary wanted the ground to open up and swallow him. "I see," he mumbled, making himself get up from the sofa. He winched a bit but ignored the pain as he strolled towards the hallway. "Give me a minute," he said, turning around. "I just have to grab my phone from my room."

Leroy nodded, tucking his hands into the pocket of his dress pants as he hummed to himself. The older man disappeared into the hallway and came out a few minutes later with a brick of a phone in his hands.

It wasn't that ancient. It was at least a smartphone, but Leroy could not remember the last time he saw an iPhone five in person.

"Here," Zachary said, handing over the phone to Leroy. The phone keypad was open, so the younger man typed in his phone number, created a contact, and then called himself before hanging up after a while.

"There, now I have your phone number too," he said, smiling a little before handing Zachary back his phone. "That's a really old phone."

Yeah, Leroy couldn't help himself.

Zach shrugged. "It does the job, it's not like I'm doing much with it anyway. I don't really use social media on it, and it's not like I'm really talking to anyone—"

"Well, you'll be talking to me a lot very soon," Leroy said, interrupting Zach.

Zach opened his mouth, but nothing came out. There was a pause as the man awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. "True," he mumbled, just loud enough for Leroy to hear, and the younger man could swear Zach was redder than normal.

"Okay, I'll text you when I get home," Leroy said, and Zach just nodded awkwardly, watching as the shorter man turned around and headed for the front door, when Leroy had left the building and the sound of his shoes knocking against the stairs of porch faded to the sound of treading on grass, Zach walked up to the sunroom window and watched Leroy make his way out of sight.

Fuck. Zach thought to himself, sitting down in his wheelchair. He cradled his phone, opening up the screen to stare at the brand-new contact—caressing the screen as he thought about the younger man with an overwhelming presence that had batched into his living room and had now left it silent and hollow.

He missed him already.

Zach let out a sigh, closing the screen. Leroy said he was going to text him when he got home, and he was looking forward to that. Although, he wasn't sure. He put his phone away when he felt his chest flutter with nerves.

Leroy was really testing him.

How was he going to survive just friendship?