Yukio Shinazugawa

I always liked fantasy as a kid, I remember old days where my grandmother used to read fairytales to me,oh how I wish I could go back to those good days.

I always was a happy child, when we lived back in Japan I remember I would visit my grandparents every weekend, my grandfather would show me our old family Dojo before grandma caught us and scolded him for teaching stuff that were not "Lady like", then she would proceed to teach me sewing for an hour, before I was bored to death and falling asleep. 

but she was undertandible and kind, she would smile and put the kit away, only to pick on old books of legends and stories of our culture. 

stories of how legendary Samurai used to save the honor of the whole clan, how our culture had retained it's roots, how making Sake was more important than any other food and how lady was suppose to behave. 

occasionally she would mix her favourite fantasy stories and fairytales as well, the dwarfs that were legendary blacksmiths, the Elves that were famous archers and some of them had dark sides to them, Kitsune that would grant people 9 wishes as well as Oni that lived in the dark caves and would only go out to haunt children that missbehaved. and all this while not even mentioning the knights and dragons that were basically rooted into the culture of fairytales.

I would stay at my grandparents whole weekend before my mother picked me up sunday evening,oh how I wish my life was nearly as easy as back then, or my family was nearly as whole as once.

but now I was stuck in god knows where. and there was no going back to what I did. there was not fixing my family if I ever managed to survive this. Alex has saved be but was someone like me truly worth saving?

                                                                             12 hours before river incident

It was rather cloudly,I was going home from College as usual, my family has moved here last year and it has gone as worse as it could have. my parents were hoping our family realtionship would improve with moving away from everything but you can't move away from your problems. I always wandered why I seemed to be the only one to understand this.

since my dad got kicked out from his Job that he was proud for his whole life goals shattered, he could not get back up, he started drinking and our family was slowly breaking. 

after my grandmother passed away 5 years ago and my grandfather followed her the year after it was painful. we were broken.

 my father was broken, he would drawn himself in alcohol only to sober up and find a job a week later. of course that job would go badly only a month in,causing the vicious cycle to repeat. everything became even worse when he got in a situation with those scum. one day at the bar her got in the fight with someone you should ALWAYS avod. after that he basically ran erands for Yakuza, he would return home drunk, sometimes even beaten up. only to take out his anger on us and beat up my mother. as I turned 18 I asked my mother to end it. there was no saving this, only to get a slap in the face. "GET YOUR HEAD STRAIGHT! HE'S ONLY DOING THIS FOR US!"

that was the price I payed for speaking up first time in my life.another month passed as my father came home completely bloody and sober for the first time..."IT'S OVER", we have to go...NOW!

I remember helping my mother pack the bags like there was no tomorrow, my dad knew people in Airport as well, they helped on get on the US plane and that was it. now we were refugees.running for our lives.

we somehow managed to get into US with fake ID's and even rent a house. I found out later that the group my father worked for was gone. they were crushed by the bigger gang and my father had escaped before it happened. since he wasn't some higher up we were relatively safe, that was the first good news of "not being someone important" I guess.

but after we started living in US and after I became "transfer student" things did not change. my dad got the job at a Oil company, he would return home half drunk and othen blame us for everything, his mind was often completely gone when he was drunk. of course the violence did not go anywhere either. 

with everything that was happening in my mind I returned home, only to find my mother beaten up. she was crying, I rushed to her aid helping her get up, after managing to calm down she told me she was fine,they had only gotten into an argument and my father was out to "cool off".

"YOU'RE NOT FINE! NOTHING IN THIS FAMILY IS FINE!" finally for the first time in my life I snapped, yelling at my mom, which only caused her to put her head down in shame. 

"IT CAN'T GO ON LIKE THIS!" I yelled slamming the door as hard as I could on my way out. 

when we came to US part of me thought I was wrong, part of me hoped things would finally change for the better, but they were getting ever worse day by day. my graduation was next year and I could not live like this for the rest of my life. I had to do something I decided. 

"I will call the police once I get home" finally getting the strength to belive in my self was a great feeling, hopping off the swing I started to walk along the park, this was a nice park I once again admired the views, I've found this place around 2 months ago and made it my "thinking place". the wind was picking up and it was getting cold, Halloween decorations added weird atmosphere to the whole park, but I kind of liked it, even though I didn't understood Halloween at all. 

with those thoughts I walked home,but was snapped into reality when I heard a glass breaking  when I walked to the door of my house, "MOM!" I yelled as I rushed into my house, at the entrance our glass table was complety shattered, I rushed to the living room only to find my mother on the ground with bloodied nose and my father standing in the corner holding a gun.

"I'm sorry" my dad dropped the gun and started crying,sobering up when saw blood coming form her nose "I...I'm doing this to protect you, YOU KNOW THAT! why don't you UNDERSTAND!"

anger and saddness was enveloping my father as I stared in shock. 

"WHAT HAPPENED!" I yelled at my father causing him to finally notice me. 

"we were just...talking dear..."lied my father, not being able to face me.

"YOUR MOTHER WANTS TO BREAK THIS FAMILY APART" he continued yelling at my mom and grabbed me, forcing me to face him "YOU UNDERSTAND RIGHT? YUKIO YOU ARE SMARTER RIGHT?" 

I was shocked...only then I noticed the papers on the table, following my gaze my father let my hand go and grabbed the papers "SHE SUDDENLY WANTS A DIVORCE! PROBABLY TO GO F*CK THAT YOUNG GUY SHE CLAIMS IS JUST A PLUMBER"! my father threw papers at her, causing most of them to fly all around the room, while one sheet hit my mother in the face.

"MOM"! I yelled rushing to her, she was physically fine, not caunting her nose bleeding and a black eye. this was it. It had to end here I realized.

I grabbed the phone and dialed 911 not being able to reach anyone as my father grabbed the phone from my hand, looked at the number I was calling and slammed it on the ground completely shattering it. 

"YOU'RE JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND SHIT! I'LL MAKE YOU, I'LL MAKE YOU BOTH UNDERSTAND!" he said while starting to loosen up the belt he always used to beat my mom with. 

while he was trying to release the belt I rushed to the gun I saw earlier grabbing it as far as I could

"NO!" my mom tried to stop me as my father finally noticed what I was holding.

"YOU THINK THAT WILL SCARE ME? DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT I DID? DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND HOW MANY PEOPLE I'VE KILLED TO LET YOU UNGREATFULL SURVIVE?"

my dad yelled at me charging. that was it. that was the last thing I remember before loud noise rang as I fell on the ground.

"BAM" the bullet shot hitting my father right in the heart,causing him to fall at our feet.

"NO!" my mom yelled dropping on her knees at my fathers body as he was making barely any noise.

I was staring and cold body of my father with my eyes, trying to grasp what just happened,before tears started blurring my vision.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!" words of my own mother echoed in the room as I blasted the door of my house open and ran...ran as fast as I could, not knowing where.  

I don't even remember where had I seen this rocky shore, when did I even see this place? I tried to think. 

"ah..." I remembered my classmates showing pictures of this place to me saying this is the best quiet place for couples...but I was all alone here, tears still flowed as rain starting to hit. covering me as if it was trying to wash me from my sins, to take all the sorrow away as I sat on the edge of the shore.

"what have I done?" I looked at my hands. they were still bloody from my mothers blood,"I killed my father...my own blood"  realisation hit me like a hurricane as I started to vomit.

the river was going crazy...only giving eco to my thoughts as I was overlwhelmed...I hated myself, I hated my father, I hated everything. that was the thoughts as I stood up at the edge of the river looking at the wrirlpools roaring, they were beutifull and somehow peacefull, as if everything I had done was just dissapiaring into them.

I don't know when i decided to jump but next thing I knew was I was sinking...water spinning me all around, it was painfull yet it was comforting,but my body was screaming as I yelled out for help.

but then came Alex...I don't know where he came from, what was he doing there at that time but I'm glad he did, he had saved me from whatever fait awaited me and now I owed him my life.

"I wonder, will he hate me if he knew what I did?" "was I given a second chance?" such thoughts were circulating in my head since I got here,I did not know the answer to these questions,but one thing I knew for sure, we were not on earth anymore, we were in the other world, there was no possible other way of explaining this.

"looks like we won't be getting home anytime soon" Alex spoke with a tone that had mixed in sadness and regret, along with a little bit of...excitement?

"No,no we're not" I answered with a sad crazy laughter suddenly taking me.