The next few days were…strange.

There was a hollow, achy feeling in his chest that reminded him of the early days when he’d started moving past helping Omegas with heat and into more varied sex work. The times that he went just a little too deep into kink and then was left lost and alone, feeling like he was missing something. Like there was a part of himself that he just couldn’t quite soothe.

He tried not to think about it, to just put one foot in front of the other and let his routine move him forwards, but even work had gotten a little harder. He slipped up with a client a few days after his session with Randy and Jamie, a client he’d had for more than a year.

“What are you thinking about?” Charlie asked, staring at him quizzically. He was always frustratingly alert after coming, giving Killian little respite.

“Nothing, just dozing. You gave it to me good.” Killian smiled, rolling under the sheets to look at Charlie more fully.

Charlie didn’t seem convinced. “Sometimes, I feel like our relationship doesn’t really matter to you.”

Killian faked a concerned sound, masking the irritation he felt. These were the worst types of clients—the ones who convinced themselves that they were owed not just Killian’s body but his love, too. Who wilfully forgot that Killian was getting paid and made a fuss when Killian refused to cross his own boundaries. “You know that’s not it, Lee. I love our sessions.” He said, using his nickname to soften the blow.

Charlie scoffed. “Sessions,” he repeated bitterly, which was exactly the reaction Killian had expected, but reminding Charlie of the limits of their relationship was necessary.

Still, Killian could pretend a little to keep a client, even if he was a pain in the ass. He pouted, shifting closer to Charlie’s naked form. “I thought our time together meant something to you. That you were okay with who I am and what I do. Yeah, there’s money involved, but does it mean that what we have doesn’t matter?”

Charlie’s face softened. “No, of course not. But. Have you ever considered…would you continue doing this if I didn’t pay you?”

And there it was. He’d been asked that question more times than he could count.

“No, I’m sorry, baby,” Killian said softly. “I don’t have the emotional space for a romantic relationship right now—that’s why I do what I do. If this wasn’t a job, it’s not that I wouldn’t want to spend time with you. It’s just that I literally wouldn’t have the time or energy to do so.” Which was the spiel he always gave— It’s not you, it’s me, blah, blah, blah.

Charlie grunted in frustration, going on about how he’d make sure that Killian was taken care of, that he wouldn’t have to work anymore…the usual nonsense rich Alphas told him.

‘I’ll buy you’ is what they really meant, loving the idea of Killian depending only on them.

Killian cut him off gently. “I can’t, Lee. You gotta see my side of things, too—I have to keep my independence.”

“I’d give you independence,” Charlie protested.

Killian bit back a sigh. It was gonna be a long fucking night.

Killian thought he wouldn’t hear from Jamie and Randy until Jamie’s next heat, but they contacted him just eight days after their original session, sending a text to his work phone.

J&R

Hey, are you free on Saturday from noon until 5pm?

Killian

Sure. Everything ok?

J&R

It’s Jamie can I call?

Killian

Sure

Killian accepted the call as his phone started buzzing. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Jamie’s voice said. “Uh, how are you?”

“Good. How’re you feeling? Everything go well after the heat?” Killian asked, concern squeezing his chest.

“Oh, yeah, totally. Went to the doc, he was really impressed. We had to, uh, tell him what we did differently.…It was super awkward.”

Killian snorted, relief flowing through him. “I can imagine. But he said everything was good?”

“More than good—I’ve put weight on for the first time in what feels like forever. Appetite was through the roof the first few days after my heat, and I’ve tried keeping the eating up, so. Yeah. Really good.”

“That’s amazing, Jamie. I’m so fucking happy for you. Randy must be ecstatic.”

“He’s been baking non-stop.”

“Of course he bakes.”

“I know, he’s ridiculous. Anyway, uh, so, about Saturday…” Jamie trailed off.

“Yeah?” Killian prompted.

“So, we thought maybe we could all do something together? There’s a cool farmers’ market near us on the weekends, we can maybe go and get some stuff, then cook something at home? At our apartment, I mean. Just to, you know—it’s a lot, now that we know that sharing my heats with you is a good long-term plan, we thought it might be better to get to know each other a little more? If that’s okay, obviously. We don’t wanna step across any boundaries.”

Killian blinked, alone in his apartment, dread acidic in his stomach. His body was telling him that this was dangerous—that getting to know Randy and Jamie better was precisely what he should be avoiding.

He couldn’t make himself say no, though. “Yeah, ’course. That sounds great.”

“Yeah?” Jamie said hopefully.

“Yeah, of course.”

“Okay. Great. So, uhm, we’ll see you on Saturday?”

“Yeah, looking forward to it,” Killian said before they hung up.

The worst thing was—he meant it.