I don’t exactly know what I did, but Elena has been avoiding me these past few days, ever since Elena got “bisexual” for her sexuality quiz result. She doesn’t sit with me or Mari or Sarai at lunch anymore.
Sure, she still sits next to me in class, since you can’t change your seat once the teachers create the seating charts, but she hasn’t been talking to me. I’ve been the only one initiating the conversation.
“Hey,” I whisper as I slide back into my seat in chemistry after coming back from the bathroom.
Elena looks at me but says nothing.
I clear my throat. “Why have you been avoiding me?”
Elena shrugs her shoulders. “It’s nothing personal.”
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
“Are you going to elaborate a bit more on that? What’s going on?”
Elena stares down at her phone, which is laying idly on the desk. “I mean…I don’t know what to say. There isn’t anything to say, really.”
I leave it at that.
Thoughts swirl around in my head.
Does she hate me? What did I do? Why is she acting like this?
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
I roll over and look at the black retro alarm clock on my nightstand. “11:36” it reads. Sighing, I roll onto my back, covering my eyes lazily with the back of my hand.
Against my will, my thoughts turn back to Elena.
Her laugh, which sounds like the bluebirds sighing.
Her smile, which shines brighter than the sun, brighter than the stars that bejewel the black night sky, twinking.
Her soft, reddish-brown hair. How I got to braid it when she came over to my house for the second time last week.
I feel a sudden wetness running down my cheeks. Swiping at my face, I look at my hand. Tears.
Why am I crying? We were only friends for, like, two weeks. What’s the point?
Maybe it’s because you’ve lost someone you loved again.
Isn’t “love” too strong of a word?
No. You had a crush on her, after all.
There it goes again. My thoughts swirling, screaming at each other.
When will it end?
☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
I plop onto my seat at the lunch table. As per usual these past few days, Elena is nowhere to be found.
“Hey,” Sarai waves at me when I sit down next to her.
“Hi,” I grumble, opening my lunchbox. I actually packed lunch for once. That’s not a good sign, though. When I pack lunch, I pack comfort food, and when I’m in need of comfort food, that means things aren’t going so well.
Sarai, Mari, and I sit in silence for a few minutes, just eating our lunches and staring aimlessly at our phones.
Finally, Sarai breaks the silence.
“Adelia.” She puts her phone down and crosses her arms, looking at me expectantly. I follow suit.
“Yeah?”
“I know that what happened with you and Elena is hurting you, but you need to get over it. I don’t understand why it’s taking you so long to get over it. I mean, you were friends for barely two weeks.”
My jaw drops slightly. I clamp it shut, clenching my jaw. I curl and uncurl my fists, breathing in deeply. Four seconds in, hold for seven, breathe out through your mouth for eight. It’ll be okay, it’ll be okay.
“Um, Adelia, are you alright?” Mari looks at me with a concerned expression.
“I’m fine,” I snap.
“Why are you mad?” Sarai looks confused.
“What you said was pretty insensitive. You know that I have issues with people leaving me, especially ever since what happened last year.”
“I didn’t mean it that way! Sorry if it came out wrong.” Sarai shakes her head. “I just…I thought it would be easier for you since you don’t really know her–”
“But I do! I do know her! Pretty well, actually. What, did you forget that she and I hung out nearly every second for an entire week and a half?”
Sarai looks dumbfounded. Mari says nothing, instead resorting to examining their cuticles. They don’t like getting involved in arguments, nor do they like taking sides.
“I…” Sarai shakes her head incredulously. “Damn. You took that way too personally.”
“Maybe think before you say something next time.”
Before I can stop myself, and before Mari or Sarai can say anything, I pack up my backpack and rush out of the cafeteria, infuriated. No one understands.
Comments (0)
See all