Lieutenant Woods—

Not going to lie. Quitting just like that is hard. It goes for anything, really, so who am I to say? But damn. Taking another look at all the stuff that filled my fridge, now sitting on the countertop, ready to be poured, left me with some second thoughts.

I mean, I did spend some money on them, so it would be quite a shame to just pour it all out. Wouldn’t it? I think so, but I did want to start fresh.

Having already missed the meeting this week, I had to work up the courage to apologize and confide in the chair, admitting that I had a problem—one worth needing help with.

As I like that nickname for her, the chair prescribed that I start by cleaning out my home and getting rid of the easy temptations within arm’s reach. When it’s put in words like that, it really makes it sound like you do have a problem.

Come on. You got this. Just pour the damn thing out. The drain is right there. Do it, man, just do it.

At least, that is what I told myself, but I found my hand trembling. I had never done that before, but I guess even my body was nervous about this new lifestyle change. 

Taking a deep breath, the deepest I have probably taken in a long time, I kicked myself and closed my eyes. I grabbed one, hesitantly popping the cork and pouring it down the drain. The gurgling spiral thing that happens, happened. I couldn’t see but heard it as it flushed through the pipes. 

That was one. 

Checking the clock, I knew this was going to take longer than I thought.

After several pours and nervous deep breaths to steady myself, I was left with nothing but empty glasses clanking against each other and the very intoxicating aroma of a melting pot stirring up in the drainage system in my kitchen sink.

Whew. The sage said it would be hard, but I had no idea. She spoke of taking things one step at a time. I needed to collect my thoughts and just move on. 

Maybe it’s because I am clearing my mind, but the thought of someone I should apologize to came up. She made it look easy when she struck herself off from drinking blood, which I think is far more complicated.

“Hey Siri…”

“Huh? You calling me? What is it? Are you dying?” 

“No, at least I don’t know if I am.”

“What—you broke up for a second, come again?”

“Nothing. I, um—just wanted to see if you were alright and all.”

“Yeah… You?”

“Good, good. Listen, kid, I, um, I have been doing some thinking, and I know you’re probably going to give me shit for not starting sooner, but I, uh…poured out everything. The fridge is clean as a whistle. The Sage—Dorothy gave me some starting tips. Taking things one step at a time, but umm…yeah.”

“…” There was utter silence for a while, leaving me in my thoughts. Anticipating what cruel set of words she would deliver to me this time. “…So how does it feel?”

“Uhh, well, I don’t know yet. It’s only been a couple of hours, so…”

“Progress is progress, isn’t it? I am happy to hear…”

“Yeah?”

“Calm down… the least you can do now is visit Grams.”

“I suppose that is fair. Heh. I was planning to go to the hospital today anyway for a checkup. Is she being discharged soon, or are they holding her hostage for the holidays?”

“Should be good to go later this evening. I won’t be able to make it, but if you’re going to be stopping by...”

“I can pick her up. She can stay at my place, or do you want me to drop her off?”

“That—yeah, um. Let her stay by you. Got some things to do.”

“Uhh, sure... Is something up? Should I be worried—”

“NO! No. Everything is fine. Alright…and thank you. I’ll see you when I see you.”

Honestly, I hadn’t expected the conversation to go that well. Granted, her tone at the end sounded somewhat odd. I have tried to pry before, but she would cut me off. If she wanted me to know, she would have said so as much. 

Strange.

Here I was, wishing I could have said a few more things, but I was not even ready to face that music.

***

As I reached the hospital, I had some time before my appointment. To be honest, I wasn’t entirely ready to head into the doctor’s room yet and hear what he had to say or what sort of results would come out of it. 

Coming early to mentally prepare myself left me more nervous than I thought. It reminded me of the time just before I worked up the balls to talk to Rose—like really talk to her. And just like that night, before I could go through it, I needed some extra words of encouragement. The problem was that there was only one person, just like then and now, I could turn to.

The Grandma. 

“Well, I will be a roasted pig, buttered up with an apple in my mouth, on the dining room table. If it ain’t the lumberjack himself. And what’s this? You went and trimmed the beard. No smell of beer or whisky on you. A true Christmas miracle.”

“Aye, I guess you can say that. How’s it going?”

“You tell me? You look…well.”

“I feel horrible.”

“Hah, that just means you still have a conscience. A good person tends to have things like that. It must be gnawing at you for forgetting little ol me.”

“No one can forget you. Though my sparing visits have to do with you just not liking me.”

“To be honest, I still don’t. But you made Rose a very happy girl. Never had I seen her smile like that before. Broughtme heart great warmth. Though, it felt like a smack in the face when you acted the way you did to her daughter. Your daughter.”

“I was drunk, and I had a rough night.”

“You were always drunk or having rough nights. How you still have your sanity is commendable…”

Her words hit me like a dagger to the heart. If it wasn’t Siri chastising me, then it was her grandmother. This woman never ceased to amaze me with how cruel her words could be. Some spoke of her being sweeter than sugar. If that was the truth, it sparingly came my way.

The day I found that she was Rose’s mother, the day I thought I had gone to be made a fool of by the devil himself.

The woman always had a reputation. She never once backed down from anyone in her small neighborhood at the edge of ForestCreek. Even the small-town gangsters tipped their hats when they saw her coming down the street, offering her assistance when they saw her struggling with a bag full of groceries.

One hell of a cook, they would say. You gotta taste her strawberry tarts or her chocolate shortbread. However, dessert always came after her meals. I couldn’t pronounce half of them because she flaunted them in some French words. But damn, they looked very pretty from afar.

“When is the next time I can have some of your cooking?”

“Hmph, please. You don’t look like you’re starving. So what’s up? You must be dying if you came to see me.”

Scratching my head, I took a seat by her bedside. 

“No. I don’t think so. Not yet, at least.”

Her harsh frown didn’t crack a bit, but her ears remained fixed to listen anyway. 

“Just waiting around until my appointment.”

“Hmmm? What sort of appointment is this?”

“Umm, well, a bit of a scary one, I suppose. The doc has been pressing me about it. Some things really do put other things in perspective. Can’t be a coincidence.”

“Out with it, boy. You sound too cryptic for me, and my time is valuable nowadays.”

“There were some abnormalities at my last checkup. Long story short, I am laying off the drinking. For good this time, that is. Potentially—supposedly, I am at high risk for heart disease. Tuned the doc out after he said that…”

For some reason, I managed to continue talking, words just coming out with no end to them, with Grams there to listen. She didn’t say a word, just sat there with a slightly distasteful look on her face, as she usually does when I am around.

As I said to her, I couldn’t think this was a coincidence. Maybe a sign from the heavens above. From the big guy himself or maybe my luck, who knows. It’s funny how Siri came to give me a present that night and how, just before her arrival, I had that dream or memory about Rose. Usually, when I get my ears chewed out for drinking too much, I brush it off and to the side, but this time, it was different. 

“So you quit, huh? Good. A drawing of all things. She worked really hard on that one. She never saw you before outside of that one time. Drew the cutest turd on your face…”

“Wait, that’s not my—”

“…she was really hurt when you brushed her off, not believing she was yours. The girl had some big dreams. One big happy family, but timing is a funny joke, isn’t it.”

“What are you saying. Why are you in the hospital?”

“It was just a fall. When you get this old, I suppose it happens more often than not.”

It was more than just a fall. Siri mentioned, Grams here had an episode. A period where she forgets herself. Who she is,where she is. Comes and goes randomly.

“Look, I won’t be around forever, you know that. Leaving her with you might be one of my biggest regrets I have. But… Seeing that you’re working on yourself means a lot. She will appreciate it.”

“You think so?” I questioned.

“I know so. And good on ya for taking your health seriously. Because if it crossed that line, to be honest, if it didn’t kill you, I would.”

“A bit hard, no?”

“It is not. You have put that girl through a lot, you know. I don’t blame you for what happened to Rose, but the least you could have done was be there for when she died. Regardless of your feelings towards Siri.”

“I…” didn’t know what to say. That whole point in my life was a blur. Mainly because I had one hell of a bender. I was stupid as always, as I couldn’t believe Rose, of all people, had passed away. I couldn’t bring myself to go to that funeral, as it all felt like some stupid dream. That night, I knew one thing. I drank with a purpose, to escape the reality that was too hard for me to accept. 

“Anyway… We have had our back-and-forth over this and other things for many years,” Lilith continued. “So I won’t say anymore. Just keep your head up and keep moving forward. Always keep in mind that you got this. You can do better. It has to all work out eventually. Look, you’re here, right? Smelling fresher than a baby’s bottom.”

For some reason, I didn’t wholeheartedly believe that the last part was all that much of a compliment, but I understood her sentiment. It strangely left me comforted because this was the first time in a long time she didn’t tell me to piss off. This was progress, and honestly, it made the whole thing feel even more worthwhile. She was right, and so was the sage.

“Hmmm, well, I’d better be out of your hair then. By the way, After I am done with my appointment and tests, I will—uh, come get you and take you out.”

“You, take me out? I’m much too old for you, sonny boy.”

“Check you out of here! You know what I meant. Siri wants you to spend the night with me. I don’t know what she’s gotten into or—whatever, but, yeah…”

She cackled with a humored laugh before waving me off. No words of disagreement were a good sign.

Leaving her entertained, I turned the hall to head back, only to find a curious face skulking the halls. It was the strangest thing, given I hadn’t seen him around or heard a word in days. The last time we spoke, he mentioned how he was taking care of the witch’s remains. Yet now I feel uneasy since events happened at Winter’s estate and Winslet’s conversation with me.

I needed to hear it from his mouth. “Yo Frankie…”