From: David Lucose

To: Alexander Beute

Subject: Ocativa

Hi Alexander. 

Octavia is outside. I forgot what your apartment number is so you’re going to have to come down and get her. Bring her a key too. I also happened to lose your phone number, so I’m going to need that back too. Don’t get mad, I know a lot of people. Your number is one in a sea of about three hundred and fifty thousand. I expect you to be nice to Ocativa. Think of it as getting a new pet. Just remember to keep her fed, clean and away from heroin.

Thanks,

YOUR BOSS

David Lucose

“What kind of dog do you have to keep away from heroin?” I asked, thinking about all the dogs I’d ever owned.

“Every dog.” Alex said irritably as he pulled on his brown denim jacket from the couch arm and fished in the drawer of the stand next to the door for an extra key.

“Great. This’ll be great” He told himself sarcastically as he placed the keys in his pocket and opened the door.

“Don’t worry buddy!” I called out as he adjusted his shoes. “Just like a new dog!” I reassured him jokingly.

“You’re not coming with me?”

“Naw, I gotta drop a deuce. I’ll see if I’m quick enough to get it done before you get back.” I said with a large smile, wagging finger guns at him.

“Alright,” He replied with a sigh. “Just don’t make the apartment smell like crap, okay? Open a window or something.” He then turned and shut the door behind him. I stood still for a moment and tried to estimate the size and time it would take to drop the log.

“I’ve got ten minutes if I’m lucky.” I said, using a hundred percent of my maths brain. I turned and strutted off to the toilet. “Long time no see compadre, ready to meet your maker?”