I really didn’t want to fight with Connor, but I was notorious for never leaving well enough alone, so I was having an inner struggle trying to decide whether to bring up the smart-watch notification. It still bothered me, even after trying to convince myself it had meant nothing, that it wasn’t important. 

I was eating the pizza I had been craving, but with my troubled mind and Connor’s bad mood I was losing my appetite. I glanced over at Connor, for all his reluctance to order pizza instead of pad Thai he sure seemed to be enjoying it now. Maybe his less than stellar mood really had been tied to him being hungry? 

How do I bring up the notification without setting him off or making it into a big deal? I decided that I needed to seem as unbothered as possible. I’m no actress, but I put on a show of enjoying the pizza more than I actually was, stuffing my face, as I got ready to ask about what had been bothering me. 

“You went to bed early last night, right? It was kind of weird, because I got a notification on my smart-watch that you worked out at like 1 am or something?”, I asked between big bites, I tried to sound as casual as possible, asking the questions while covertly trying to glance at him. 

“What?”, Connor said, his body tensing, but relaxing so fast again, I couldn’t be sure if I imagined the whole thing. “Oh, yeah. I was gonna go to bed early, but couldn’t sleep so I worked out for a bit.”, Connor said and then giving me the side-eye he muttered, “Speaking of working out, maybe you should try it sometime, the way you’re going at it with that pizza.”. I gave him a scathing look in response, but his words really hurt me. 

“You really worked out in the middle of the night? Who does that…”, I murmured more to myself than to him, but he heard me. 

“Of course. Why? What did you think I was doing?”, Connor sounded defensive. “Coming up with some crazy, dramatic shit, as usual? You’re too paranoid, Ella. You really need to tone it down, it’s exhausting.”

“I didn’t even say anything!”, I protested. Although he wasn’t wrong, I had been thinking up some weird scenarios in my head and that was exactly why I had asked about it. 

“You didn’t need to! It’s all over your face! God…”, Connor yelled, exasperated, he shook his head. 

“I didn’t say anything…”, I sounded defeated and I hated it when he yelled at me. I shrank into myself. I couldn’t stop the tears this time. 

“Why are you even with me if you hate me so much? You think my sister is prettier and … that I’m crazy and that I should lose weight and that.. And that…”, I spluttered through hiccups and sobs, but I didn’t get out anything else before Connor was by my side. Hugging me, murmuring reassurances in my ear. Holding me tight. 

“When did I say I hated you? I don’t hate you. You just need to chill sometimes, babe.”, Connor chuckled. His hands started wandering and what had started as a comforting hug turned into something more sensual. Roaming over me, I wasn’t really in the mood as I was really upset, but Connor’s bigger frame towered over me, slowly pushing me down on the couch. “And I like your curves, my pretty Ella.”, he murmured as his hands groped said curves. He kissed the path my tears had streaked on my face all the way down to my mouth, there he deepened the kiss, hungry for more. 

We kissed lying down on the couch, bodies tangled together, with Connor’s hands roaming all over me. With his body pressed so close to mine, I could feel that he was ready for this to go even further, and I was right when he a second later started trying to remove my blouse. I had to stop him. I didn’t want to. But I was on my period and I wouldn’t have minded it, but I knew he wasn’t into it. This was going to set him off again, I just knew it. 

“I…I’m sorry…It’s that time of the month.”, I managed to gasp out as I halted his hands from unbuttoning my blouse further. 

“Seriously? What the fuck?”, it was clear that this was the last straw for Connor, he was fed up, and even though I had expected it, I couldn’t stop myself from wincing at his words. He let out a huge sigh, dragging his hands through his hair. “Well, at least finish me off before you go then.”. And I did. Putting as much enthusiasm into it as I could muster, trying to make up for killing the mood, even though it wasn’t really my fault.

“I’m going to go take a shower.”, Connor said after he finished. He got up and walked towards the bathroom. Leaving me on my knees by the couch. “Take the trash out on your way out.”, he threw over his shoulder before the door to the bathroom closed behind him.

“Okay! See you later!”, I said. And I did. I gathered the trash from our takeout food and stuffed it in the kitchen garbage, tied the bag and walked out with it. Why did I feel like I would have fit right in with the dirty napkins and leftover food scraps I was throwing away? What was I doing wrong? I needed some moral support, to vent, someone to tell me I was reading too much into things. Austin, my best friend, I needed him right now.