Chapter 16: The Baby's Room

Raymond is kind.

Raymond is caring.

and More importantly, Raymond is a loving person.

He has a lot of love to give to those around him, maybe too much.

This kindness might lead me to make a dangerous decision.

The way he holds me in his arms gives me false hope.

The way he gently caresses my hair makes me want to give my whole heart to him.

His calm voice that says everything is okay makes me want to believe it.

Do I really love this man? Or is it loneliness that tricks my heart into believing it?

All I know is that in this desperate moment he is all I have, so I put my arms tightly around his neck.

"My lady, it's cold outside, can we go back in?" He said in a gentle tone.

"I'm sorry, maybe you have work to do, I'm fine now, you can go" I said even though I was still holding his hand.

"It's okay, I was on my way to see you anyway" He smiled.

"At 6 am??"

“Well, I had to go to a faraway village today and I was afraid you’d be asleep by the time I got back, so I wanted to stop by early and leave some presents before I leave.” He said to me then looked down with a sad expression.

“I know presents are worthless but at least they might make you think of me today too,” he said as he tightened his grip on my hand.

‘This guy is bad for my heart’ I thought at that moment.

“Do you want to come over for breakfast?” I asked him awkwardly.

“I’d love that,” he replied.

It was obvious that he had already eaten his breakfast because he was only taking small bites to pass the time.

I’m sure a man of that size would need more than that to feel full.

But I didn’t want to push him away, especially not today, when I felt this weak.

So I engaged in the most useless conversations.

What’s the weather like today.

And about the village he was planning to go to.

I looked at the clock and it was already ten, it was too late for him to go to the village anyway.

“Do you want to see the baby’s room?” I asked him

He seemed genuinely happy to see the room, although my taste in things may not be as elegant as Camilla's, but everything i put in the room had meaning.

He stopped at one of the shelves and said

"Thank you for putting this toy here"

"This was one of the strangest gifts you ever sent me... but it looked old and I thought it meant something to you, which is why I put it here".

"Yes, it means a lot to me... the rabbit doll was a gift from my older brother

He bought it as a joke saying I looked like a rabbit

But I've grown to love it over time

I want my son to know about his uncle" he said to me holding the doll with a sad expression.

"Why are you so sure it's a boy?" I asked

"It's part of the curse... the family has only had sons for the past hundred years".

“I don’t know why exactly, but maybe because the nobles value having a male heir more than anything else”

“So we get sons but cursed ones”

After that he stood silent for a while

“I’m sorry, that’s the last thing you would want to hear right now” he said while looking at my belly.

“No… ignorance is a sin”

“I want to know everything about the curse for the sake of my son—our son.”

Raymond spent the whole day in the old house and I was so happy.

His words… his actions… they all seemed sincere.

I know he can’t be by my side like this all the time, but today I wanted to act like a normal family.

What we talked about today was more useful than all the previous weekly meetings.

For the first time we got close to each other.

For the first time we looked into each other’s eyes while talking.

When it was time for him to leave, he kissed the back of my hand and left.

That night not a single bad thought passed through my head and I slept soundly.

But it was all in vain.

When Camelia moved again

It was my final wake-up call

And from then on I decided to ban Raymond from my house forever.