Chapter Eighteen: Ivan

With the birth of my baby, my life changed completely.

The loneliness I once felt was gone, as if it had never existed.

His round face, his little hands, and the sound of his soft crying filled my world.

It’s true that I was tired. Tired of feeding him every few hours, cleaning him 10 times a day, and not sleeping, but it also meant that I was spending every minute of my day with him, and that made me the happiest person ever.

Some nights when my baby cried with out any rest, I would sing him an old  I had learned from my mother:

“Do not fear, it is nothing but a leaf

Nothing to give you fright;”

I would sing it over and over as I rocked him for hours, sometimes until sunrise.

Then I’d look in my arms and he was finally asleep.

And this way another sleepless  night passed.

And another night too.

and Suddenly he starts crawling

Then I closed my eyes again to find him walking towards me.

Time was passing so fast that I wished I had a way to slow it down so I could enjoy this moment a little more.

"Ivan did you break my favorite vase!!"

"You better hide well from me"I shouted around the house.

Then I pretended to look for him only to find him in his usual place under the kitchen table.

"I got you" I said as I tickled him.

The servants started laughing with us.

Then I realized that he had gotten heavier and it was harder to carry him.

Of course he is four now.

The happiest four years of my life.

Even my days traveling with my grandfather cannot compare to this.

This feeling of contentment and my peaceful days I wish would last forever.

That night when Ivan finally fell asleep after struggling to give him a bath, I looked up and saw the rabbit toy and remembered Raymond.

Since the day Ivan was born, I have rejected all his attempts to get close to us.

Although he sent gifts for Ivan’s birthdays, I declined those too.

Luckily Ivan didn’t ask about his father, as he grew up among the same group of people

So he doesn’t fully understand the family dynamic yet.

But I wonder how long this will last.

And until when my excuse “It’s dangerous outside, that’s why we don’t go far from our house” will be enough to answer all his questions.

But until then I will do everything I can for him.

I will keep the peace in my house, or at least that’s what I thought.

Until the day Ivan entered the house holding a little boy’s hand.

I thought he was playing hide and seek with the old maid and now he came back with a little boy and not just any ordinary boy

It was clear from the color of his hair and eyes that he was Camelia and Raymond’s son.

Ivan’s half-brother.