DAVID:

Thanks for the number

Back, kiddo. Did you manage

To pick up Octavia?

No hassle?

ALEXANDER:

Yeah, went fine.

DAVID: 

She hasn’t said anything

Too displeasing yet?

ALEXANDER:

Just a couple names

To your expense

DAVID:

Great.

DAVID:

Have fun!

DAVID IS OFFLINE

“Well no one ever said Dave wasn’t a dickhead.” Chris said, reading the messages over my head, which he still had in a headlock. A muffled flush and an opening door led to Octavia joining us in the kitchen. Not being phased in the slightest at the headlock, she leant against the fridge and said bluntly

“Smells like shit.”

I glared up at Chris, who had a subtle smile on his face, finding amusement in the statement. 

“I told you to open a window” I growled with annoyance as I squirmed to free myself from his arm. 

“Couldn’t smell anything” he teased as he wandered off to release his smell from its turd dungeon. Octavia stood silent for a moment and watched me try to nonchalantly dust off my clothes and straighten things out again. 

“No, seriously. Are you brothers or what?” She asked, slinking around my kitchen. 

“Does it matter?” I asked, watching her inspect my cupboards.

“Depends, If you are or aren’t it’ll change the insults I wanna use” She said, going along and opening my shelves one by one and checking their contents.

“Why must you use insults?” I asked slyly. 

“Because,” She said, turning towards me and getting right up in my face, too close for comfort.

 “How would I get anything done elsewise?” 

She snickered and went back to scavenging through my kitchen.

“What are you looking for?” I asked, beginning to feel invaded by her searching.

“Nothing” She answered blatantly. “If I was looking for something in particular, I woulda just asked, dumbass. I haven’t eaten in like, almost three days, so I’m just seein’ whatcha got.” She opened my last cupboard then swivelled around to face me, her face was a mix of slightly pissed and confused. 

“Do you even eat real food?” She asked, gesturing at the half-eaten chips and snacks in my cupboard.

“No he does not.” Chris answered for me, reappearing around the corner. 

“See man? Everyone knows it.” He continued as he wandered over to the open cupboard, took out an open packet of chips and started eating from it.

“Okay.” I started firmly. “Ground rules. One-” I said pointing at Octavia, who had joined Chris in his chip thievery.

“I don’t need eating advice from a skeleton.” 

She frowned at me, shoved another handful of crisps into her mouth and chewed it aggressively.

“Two; You’ll sleep on the couch, it’s fold-out. I don’t want guys, or sex, or anything on it, so don’t even think about it.”

Octavia quickly swallowed half of the crisps in her mouth before jabbing her thumb towards Chris.

“What about him?” She asked, mouth still full of food. Chris glanced up at me and smirked.

“RULE THREE” I growled through gritted teeth.

“Do not touch Chris.

Anywhere.

At all.

The last thing he needs is another shitty relationship.”

This only got me more intense, aggressive frowns from the both of them. I sighed and slid my keys off the bench behind me. 

“Fine… You know what? If y’all are so hungry, let’s go get food then, shall we?” I hissed  as I turned and made for the door. 

I’m already tired of these people.