I can't believe the Sweet and Sour Kingdom

Dared to attack our bastion! How dare they!

I haven't faced a treat to my nation since the Angel Foodcake World attacked some time ago. That was the last serious threat in ages. 

Don't get me wrong, others have tried since then, but were wiped out by lavacakecano before they stood a chance! Listen, listen, I am the top here, and 

No one ever beats me. 

Of course, most people don't ever dare

To attack my kingdom since there's always a threat of volcanic

Eruption, but surprisingly, that's when attacks are most concentrated. Some demons have just had too much

Xylitol, like come on! 

Pretty bold of these stupid morons to attack during a speeding

Eruption that could come at any time! Oh, well, that doesn't matter

Cause, since the eruption is starting

To approach far more rapidly,

All of us are going to lose 

Now! I'd like to thank the Sweet

And Sour Kingdom for putting us all in jeopardy!

Thank you so much, Sweet and Sour Kingdom for putting us 

Through this imminent peril! You're

A champ! If it wasn't obvious by now, that was

Complete sarcasm! Don't 

Know sarcasm? Well, either get used to it, or get wrecked!

For now, we have to focus on capturing the flags before the 

Record breaking fasted eruption ever takes

Over. I'll give the eruption, 

Maybe say, three turns. 

And we're all defeated. 

Now, the only ones we have to blame here are 

Our fellow invaders! I bet

They had their stupid ghost

Have their revenge on us and played with the lavacakecano in order to get it to

Erupt faster! And to that, I say? 

Razzen frezzen froozen frooka. You're putting our

Kingdom in jeopardy! 

I can't believe this stupid invaders! I

Never know what do in the heat of an invasion since time 

Goes by where there aren't any at all! If that stupid

Drude's time freezing spell actually worked,

Our nation wouldn't be in jeopardy right now!

Maybe we'd all be fine! By

The lord I am, this wouldn't have happened if my envoys didn't give away all

Of my supplies! This is all their fault! I 

Don't take responsibility for 

Any of this since it wasn't my idea!

Yes, it was my delegates fault!

Oh, by the lord that's me, they'd better

Have a written apology for me if we don't 

Get defeated by the eruption! Or, I'll have them completely

Removed from my 

Envoy! Since this is pretty much

All their fault! We're not prepared because of 

Them! They

Shouldn't have gone and given away all our supplies!

I'm going to erupt! I'm sure they've toppled

More than half of our towers now!

Ugh, I know who to blame

Now for everything that's happened in the past few hours! Everything was

Peachy until this moment! And, I 

Regard my envoys with 

Every single hostility in the book!

Please, be real with me right now! By the lord that is me, I

Am going to blow! I'll take it out on that tiny little

Rat if we don't win this! 

Everything can be attributed to my  

Dumb little delegates giving everything away! The nerve! This is their fault!"

Toot, toot, toot.

Rumble, rumble, rumble.

Battle horns tooting up a storm and ground rumbling, two dragons, a badger, a kraken and stupid plant had already crushed six of their towers. Seeing such, Lord Dragon Fruit launched a pulse attack upon one of their own kind. Who allowed these annoying fiends attack early? They were breaking the rules of kingdom warfare, like hello? They'd pay dearly for breaking the rules.

"One-sided attacks are forbidden in Kingdom Warfare!" Fairy Floss Pixie cried. "What are you doing?"

"We're getting revenge!" a scary voice in the corner cried. "Revenge for my death!"

"As a result of the Strawberry Kingdom killing Spicy Curry Dragon, we're going to take back our spot in the top ten of Satiation Kingdom!" Sour Yogurt Dragon cried. "First, by attacking this stupid adventure kingdom!"

"We learned a little trick to this place!" Jalapeno Burger Plant cried. "If the volcano erupts, no one wins! And ties get rid of losses across the board!"

"Who established that rule?!" Devilled Egg Drude asked in a frantic tone. "That's made up!"

"The Kingdom Warfare society, duh!" Chili Dog Kraken cried. "Why, never heard of it?"

"Should have known, you're probably the lowest amongst the ten!" Buffalo Wings Hydra cried, chicken wings on them flaunted around frivolously.

"Should we be saying that?" Sour Plum Badger asked. "They might be--." But, she had been cut off.

Stupid weaklings underestimating their kingdom, Lord Dragon Fruit snapped their talons together. Who did these people think they were underestimating their power? They'll show them what real power looked like! If they thought for one second they were in the bottom ten, they had another thing coming. What a funny joke they just told!

"The bottom ten, you say?" Lord Dragon Fruit asked in a sinister tone. "You're about to eat your words!"

Toot, toot, toot.

Kingdom Warfare Start.

Objective: Capture Three Flags Before the Lavacakecano Erupts. Turns left until eruption: ten.

Objective: Drop a Pitaya into the Lavacakecano. Pitayas dropped: zero of two.

Optional objectives: destroy all towers.

Optional objectives: Defeat all enemies.

Sirens blaring, Lord Dragon Fruit studied the bastion around them. Six towers already knocked out, time was ticking. Ten turns would go by a blitz. They had to focus on dropping the pitayas into the lavacakecano and defeating the enemies. Leave the flags to their envoys. Flapping upward, they let out a shout.

"Everyone, you focus on capturing the flags!" Lord Dragon Fruit cried.

"My Lordship, are you sure?" Fairy Floss Pixie asked. "They have a ghost on their team! And, you know what happens when there's ghost on a Kingdom Warfare Bastion!"

"Either do as I say, or shut up!" Lord Dragon Fruit screeched.

Boom, boom, crunch.

Chocolate raining down as two further towers were crunched by the opposing forces, Lord Dragon Fruit let the fire within them simmer. Ah, these cheaters had already been hard at work trying to get an advantage. Well, they'd show them, it was time for the comeback of the century. No, the comeback of the millennium.

"Blast of Firing Rage!" Lord Dragon Fruit screeched.

Intense burning pitayas dropping down on the enemies, a load of screams had decorated the ground triplefold. Pathetic yogurt dragon burned, they flapped upwards towards the lavacakecano. Quickly, quickly, they had to make haste before it was too late! Time was running out, before long, it would go boom!

"Spiky Sponge cake Trumpet!" Angel's Foodcake Declared.

Large sponge cake caving the enemies in, multiple towers had been decimated in one fell swoop. Enemies barking up the wrong tree, the volcano had begun to rumble as the timer sped up. Envoys soon running out of movement speed, the siren soon sounded itself once more as if it were a warning bell calling out to everyone.

Severe violation found: opposing team attacking a bastion with no challengers present. Penalty issued to the entire warzone: turns cut down.

Turns until volcanic eruption: five

Total flags captured: zero.

Total towers destroyed: ten out of twenty: Sweet and Sour Kingdom.

Twelve out of Twenty: Pitaya Land.

"Aww, yeah, that's what we were waiting for, a penalty!" Sour Plum Badger cried. "Now, we're sure to win this entire thing!"

Sweet and Sour Kingdom revealing their reasons for starting early to everyone, Lord Dragon Fruit snapped their claws. Oh, they see! So, that's how it's going to be. They deserved to be burned into the ground and then tossed into Pizzaville to have their bones devoured by the cult. In fact, they'll do it as soon as possible!

"Fairy Floss Pixie, Devilled Egg Drude, Devil's Foodcake Rat!" Lord Dragon Fruit cried. "Hurry up and do a link attack!"

"Aight, you're da boss, boss!" Devil's Foodcake Rat cried. "You two, howd my hands!"

Clap, clap, clap.

"Sprinkles river!" the trio shouted.

Noxious sprinkles of salt stunning the enemies, the trio dashed off towards the unoccupied flags, in an instant. Every single one captured as the enemies decried foul play, Lord Dragon Fruit flapped upward. Foul play, hmm? Look who is talking here! They attacked early. Stupid rule breaking will not be stood for!

Second link attack bestowed upon the enemy, the lavacakecano shook. Rapidly flapping upward, the pitayas had become one with the molten chocolate lava. Heated bed of liquid sizzling, they tossed in the next one, defeat swiftly coming for the party of five galore, it was soon over for these stupid invaders.

Starved.

"You cheated!" Sour Yogurt Dragon cried. "You're a cheat!"

"Oh, I'm a cheater, am I?" Lord Dragon Fruit asked. As they said such, they laughed. "Tell that to the chocolate lava that's about to make your yogurt expire!"

Snap.

Glug, glug, glug.

"I'll get my revenge on this kingdom, Lord Dragon Fruit!" Sour Yogurt Dragon screeched.

Feeling a chill behind their back as the stupid yogurt dragon's body became nothing but dust, the defeated enemies besides him soon retreated. Ah, revenge they say? How very interesting. Did they think they were in any state for that? They just lost another member of their team just now! Comical. What a funny bunch they were. Sore losers.

Returning to their private quarters in the Den of Devils, Lord Dragon Fruit sat cross legged on the top of their desk as they had the door slammed from behind them. Stupid Drude bowing the head, they were ready to rip a head off. This incompetent little devil couldn't do anything right! It was time to give them a warning!

"You'd better learn to control your time freezing powers!" Lord Dragon Fruit cried. "Next time, I won't let you off gently, understand!"

"Just kill me and put me out of my misery!" Devilled Egg Drude cried.

"That would be too easy, now wouldn't it?" Lord Dragon Fruit cried. "I won't be killing you. Now, hurry up, and give me my Pitaya Boy Plus!"

"Everything would be easier if I were dead!" Devilled Egg Drude shouted as they ran off.

Portable gaming device seated in the palm of their hands, a stupid creature collecting fruit adventure game blasted in their eardrums. Tip tappying away, they let out a sinister laugh. They were victorious once again in a rare Kindom Warfare Battle. Take that, Sweet and Sour Kingdom. Smash buttons to and fro, they played until they couldn't keep their eyes open anymore.

Every day was an adventure.