The following day, I think about Anthony often, wondering what kind of a scheme he will come up with next to try to coerce me into sleeping with him. Or worse, what kind of sick plan he’s conjuring up to deal with the Candace situation. I know he isn’t a murderer, capable of ending another’s life. The thought of Anthony harming anyone felt odd to me, yet I couldn’t help but wonder why Candace was so sure he would kill her. 

Is Candace the psychopath here?

I laugh to myself out loud and shake my head, realizing that I’m trying much too hard to make light of a bizarre situation. She will most likely leave him at this point. They were smart to not marry. That part I’ll admit. 

Outside, the pine trees are swaying ferociously in a gusty series of winds. Rain is coming again.

After work, I had spent the entire afternoon sweeping and sprucing up my back patio, doing laundry, and mopping floors. This was my time to clean and run errands, while Adrian wasn’t with me.

I actually slept quite well at Candace’s, despite the circumstances. I woke up feeling well-rested and ready to tackle the day.

My phone buzzes and pings in my back pocket. It’s a short text from Candace:

He’s moving out.

I am shocked to hear this news. Mostly because Anthony is a stubborn and unyielding man. For him to submit and admit to his faults by making the decision to move out seemed weird, overly weird…

I suddenly feel a pang of jealousy. He didn’t move out when I told him I was done with our marriage. In fact, he ended up convincing me to leave and find somewhere else to stay. As though my decision to actually end things justified his infidelity.

Part of me understood, however, that I should have fought harder. I should have stood my ground, ordered him to pack his things and get out of our house, but I was so upset, I just couldn’t bear to be around him anymore. I yearned for my own space where I could retreat and lick my wounds in peace.

He agreed to a reasonable amount of spousal support, so I took what I could and moved on….or at least, tried to. 

Another text pings, appearing ominously across my lock screen. This time it’s from Anthony:

Can we meet an hour from now? 

The park downtown.

I sigh, not entirely certain I want to get involved in his affairs. 

It’s already 5pm. I unlock my phone to text back. My fingers hover over the keyboard, hesitant to respond. Part of me feels compelled to write him a long-winded text explaining how stupid he’s being, and asking him why he would screw up his relationship with Candace and Lilly. Why isn’t he fighting to win her back?

I’ll save it for our meeting, I think, and text him back a single letter:

K

Despite it being around mid-August, the air feels rather chilly on this particular day. The usual eighty-five degree temperature has dropped a whole twenty, and dark storm clouds are racing toward the center of town, threatening to dump heaps of heavy rain. I make sure to bring my newly purchased umbrella and a waterproof windbreaker, just in case.

I’m wearing stretchy capri leggings with sneakers and a loose, comfortable top. It’s my most basic outfit ever; I’m not in the mood to impress him. This meetup is strictly to gather more information about his future plans, or so I’m hoping. At this point, I feel obligated to protect Candace, having gone through such a similar ordeal in my near past. I can’t help but feel increasingly sorry for her. She is now the victim of his philandering ways, just as I was. She and Lilly deserve so much better.

Downtown is quite deserted for an evening. The usual presence of dog walkers and screaming children racing across the courthouse lawn are eerily absent, most likely due to the impending storm. I take a seat on an empty bench facing the teeter totter.

Adrian usually accompanies me to this park. I miss him all of a sudden, but my thoughts are interrupted when I become aware of my stomach growling with hunger. I realize I haven’t eaten all day. I scan my surroundings anxiously, growing more and more impatient, wondering if I have time to grab a bite to eat. 

Where are you, Anthony?

“Hey…”

I spin around quite startled to find him closing in on me from behind. His hands are carrying a paper bag filled with something–hopefully food. He is wearing light denim jeans and a dark gray button-up shirt, looking casual. His beautiful hair is slicked back as usual, but most importantly, he is wearing his sexy grin, the one that had always prevented me from having any sense when I was around him. 

I hate that he’s so handsome.

“Hi, there,” I reply, as calmly as possible.

He sits down next to me, his right leg folded over his left, sets the bag between us, and clears his throat. His hands fold together and press neatly against his right knee.

“I brought you some tacos.”

I don’t say a word. I’m ravished, so I reach for the bag almost immediately to start digging in. As I stuff my face with carnitas, he finally turns to face me. 

“Candace and I are splitting up.”

I swallow quickly, and wait for him to say more. It’s obvious he has no clue she and I have been talking. An awkward silence grows increasingly between us, and when our eyes finally meet, I can see the exhaustion that has been plaguing him. 

“You’re tired,” is all I can make out. I’m not sure how he is expecting me to feel and respond. I want to sneer at him and call him all kinds of names: Coward, Cheater, Abuser—Monster, had even made it to the list, but I dare not. 

Instead, I manage to say something neutral. “I’m sorry you’re going through this. Maybe it’s for the best if you can’t be true to her, and besides–”

“Is it?” He cuts me off mid-sentence.

“She obviously makes you very angry and dissatisfied. I still can’t believe you lashed out at her!” I study his face carefully while speaking. I can sense he is holding himself back from speaking his full mind.

“She doesn’t make me happy,” he states, matter-of-factly.

“I gathered that much.”

The wind picks up and heavy drops of rain begin to fall sporadically from the heavens. I reach for my umbrella to open it as quickly as possible. If there’s one thing I’ve learned about living in the Arizona high desert, the rains can strike at any moment and with no mercy.

He chuckles at my attempt to keep us both shielded by the downpour. “You’ve always been one to come prepared,” he declares, the Anthony smirk returning to his face. 

I find his comment to be most untrue. 

“Let me hold it for you,” he says. “There you go.” 

He takes the umbrella from me and lifts it higher so that it actually covers us both. He sets the bag of food on my lap, and I swear I can feel him shift just a smidge closer. For a moment, I feel quite fuzzy and cozy in his company. 

I resume my feast of tacos, and with the rain falling all around us, it feels almost…romantic.

As we sit there in silence, I find myself being transported back in time to when he and I were still dating. How I adored him so much, long before he decided I wasn’t enough. I snap myself out of it, and we turn to face one another at the same time. 

His soulful stare is tantalizing.

“I miss you.” 

“What?” I frown, unimpressed and taken back by his antics. My mouth is full of food. I feel incredibly unsexy.

“I said, I miss you.” He takes my right hand in his. His delicate warmth feels so welcome and unwelcome at the same time. “Would you believe me if I told you I’ve made a big mistake?”

I swallow my food forcefully. “Which mistake?” I retort, not wanting to play into his little game.

“The one where I left you.”

“Ah. That one.” I can feel the magma of vengeance brewing within me, bubbling and scolding, ready to spew out violently. “I think you are very confused, Anthony!”

I drop my food and stand abruptly, letting the rain soak my body and consume me whole. “I left YOU, remember?! I left you because you were unfaithful! Which part about that do you not understand?!” I can feel my chest heaving with fury. 

He sits for a while, unwilling to process. His head shaking slowly, eyes unable to make contact.

The sound of rain hitting the pavement is very intense now. I scan the square to discover there is not a single soul to be found within a thirty yard radius, just the two of us, hanging out at the park in the pouring rain like a couple of crazies. I contemplated snatching my umbrella from him and making a run for it back to my car. 

It’s just a block away from here, I think.

Suddenly, Anthony stands and wraps his arm around me, holding the umbrella over the two of us with his other hand. His look is stern and serious, as his eyes lock unforgivingly on mine, his face close enough to steal a kiss. I fight against him, but he grips me even harder, his fingertips pressing deeper into my lower back. My heart is throbbing so hard in my chest, I think it might explode. 

How can it be that one can loathe and yearn for someone at the same time? 

He leans in closer, his soft lips barely grazing mine. Then he pulls back ever so slightly, as if trying to tease, revealing the whites of his teeth as his lips curl into a mischievous grin.

“You are never going to let it go, are you?” he suggests, mockingly.

How dare he! 

The magma has erupted into a raging lava field, and I feel compelled to lash out. I shove him with so much power and force that he stumbles backwards, nearly falling, and just barely managing to brace himself against the bench. 

“When will you grow up?” I sneer. “You’re about to lose your girlfriend, the mother of your other child, and all you can think about is getting back with me?! AND…you still fail to see the hurt you’ve caused!”

I snatch my soaking wet umbrella from the ground, and take off at a fast pace through puddles galore. My shins and ankles are becoming more soaked with every step. Tears are beginning to sting the corners of my eyes. I hold them back for as long as I can, but as soon as I am met with the safety of my vehicle, my emotions take over. 

It’s a cocoon now, sheltering my body from the outside world. All of the hurt pours out in an explosive outburst. I sob loudly and uncontrollably, feeling utterly broken, once again. 

The steering wheel is saturated with tears. Though, after crying for about ten minutes, I am feeling much better. I am prepared to drive home. However, when I turn the key to start the ignition, a shadowy figure catches my eye in the lower right-hand corner of the windshield. 

I activate the windshield wiper to get a better look. Streaming liquid clears to reveal him standing there with his hands in pockets, just watching me. His dark eyes glare through heavy eyelids, his hair wet and plastered down the sides of his face. How long he had been standing there is a mystery.

He looks incredibly creepy, like a demented serial killer, and naturally, I begin to panic.  I decide to floor it, blasting a muddy puddle dramatically all over his body, albeit unintentionally. I peer into the rear-view mirror feeling absolutely no remorse, as I catch a glimpse of him covered in muddy water from head to toe. 

Serves you right, Jerk.

When I pull up to my apartments, I sit in the car for a while, just thinking about Candace, Lilly, and Adrian. How will this break-up impact their lives? Will Anthony stick around to parent in an amicable fashion? Will he get some sort of mental help? Will he be able to afford the child support that Candace will certainly demand? Will he sell their house? His house? I’m fairly certain the deed is in his name. 

The tracks of my wandering mind are halted when I hear the familiar sound of Anthony’s truck closing in. He is parking directly behind me on the street. My heart skips as I panic once again, in complete disbelief over what is happening. 

My first thought is to make a run for my apartment and lock the door, so I decide to do so without hesitation. I take off in such a frenzy that I forget to lock the car.

As I run past the second apartment (mine is third on the right) and begin to close in on my front door, I feel my foot slip out and give way against the slippery walkway. In an instant my balance is lost, and I am hurtling down to the ground with a harsh thud. I manage to break my fall with my right wrist, and instantly become aware of the throbbing pain that follows. 

I sit in shock, cradling my entire forearm tightly, wincing with pain and fear, for I know Anthony will surely be catching up to me at any moment. I try desperately to stand up, my eyes fixated on the door just a few feet away. 

There he is, however, before I can stand, lurking behind me sinisterly with arms outstretched. Without a single word, and before I can react, he hoists me up and out of the rain. He takes the keys from my hand and opens the door effortlessly, like he has done it a million times before. I feel completely defeated as he carries me inside and sets me down, taking my wrist gently into his palms to examine it over the kitchen counter. 

“Can you move it?” he asks, looking very concerned.

I try to wiggle it ever so slightly, causing a strong pulse of discomfort up my forearm. “No, I don’t think so.” 

The pain continues, sending waves of throbbing heat up my arm and towards my neck.

“Sit down,” he commands. “Rest for a while. I will drive you to the hospital in a few minutes. It could be broken…”

“NO!” I shout. I hate hospitals, but even more than that, I hate Anthony for being the hero in this moment. “It’ll be fine,” I mutter under my breath.

He glances back at me, confused and bewildered. “I know you’re upset with me right now, but you need to get that looked at!”

“Why did you follow me home?” I decided to change the subject.

“Why did you soak me from head to toe?” 

We both peer down at his soiled wet clothing, and I can’t help but grin a little.

“Oh, you think this is funny?” His demeanor has changed suddenly, to one of an irritable teenager, and he closes the gap between us. “This isn’t funny at all. I need to use your shower to clean up. And why did you shove me like that? What made you think it was okay to do any of this to me?” His eyes narrow. “I brought you tacos…” 

I’m still hiding a sneaky smirk, as he goes on. 

“I’m trying to be a better man, but I’m practically homeless right now!”

I honestly hadn’t thought of his current situation. His words pierce like daggers of shame and reason when I realize I was being a bit harsh, but then I panic. 

Is he going to try to stay here?…With me?