Dakota gripped the edge of the table, sitting on its surface as he looked up at me. “I wanted to talk to you… about last night. There’s something I want to say.” 

Panic blared through my mind, my jaw clenched painfully tight as I sucked in a deep breath, preparing myself for the fatal blow…that Dakota wanted me to leave after compromising the tactical partnership we had built.

Maybe it was better to just get it over with. 

I straightened, looking down at him as I nodded slowly and murmured, “Same here.” I had to apologize; I couldn’t take back what had happened, but maybe there was a way to make things right. 

He sucked in a slow breath, fearful anxiety beginning to show through his usually sunny expression as he dropped his gaze. Dakota seemed to collect himself for a moment before he forced a smile. “Okay, you can talk first, then. It seems like there’s a lot on your mind.” 

Though it worried me to not know what he was thinking, maybe it was for the best. I nodded, trying to find my words. I was completely distracted by the tightness in my chest and the pit of dread in my stomach. “Last night…” Was amazing. I couldn’t stop the thought from entering my mind, pushing it down and burying it as I stated, “shouldn’t have happened.” 

I watched as shock flooded Dakota’s features, widening his dark eyes.

I continued quickly before he could speak. “We were emotional, I was…caught up in the moment. I’m sorry. I understand if you want me to leave…” My heart ached, trying not to let it show as I all but begged, “but I meant what I said. I don’t want to go. So, if you let me stay, I swear nothing like this will happen again.” I waited, wondering if that was enough not to lose what I had come to consider my home… Not to lose him completely. 

As Dakota’s initial surprise faded, his expression tightened into lines of disappointment and pain, his fingers gripping the table as he leaned back. “Is that what you really think?” His voice trembled, gaze fixed on his feet for a long moment before his eyes finally met mine. “I don’t feel that way—that was the last thing on my mind when I said I wanted to talk to you. I wanted-” Dakota stopped himself, closing his eyes briefly, “I thought last night… would mean as much to you as it did to me.” 

His response made my pulse skip, my brow furrowing. I had expected anger and regret… not disappointment like this. “What… What do you mean?” I asked, trying to retrace my steps, figure out what I had missed. The last thing I wanted was to hurt Dakota. “I thought you wanted boundaries, if we’re to stay together… Help each other survive. Strictly professional. Isn’t that what you said?” 

Dakota shook his head, his brow furrowed. “Maybe when we first met, but now… you mean so much more to me. I want more than just a housemate, or a teacher. The feelings I have for you are deeper than that.” He swallowed, his face pale and his gaze becoming almost pleading. “It’s not just about last night—we’ve spent months together now, Jason, and recently… I couldn’t help thinking I wanted more. I don’t regret getting closer to you, sharing that kind of intimacy, and I don’t want to pretend it didn’t happen. I had hoped you felt the same way.” 

I couldn’t really believe the words spilling out of Dakota’s mouth. 

He wanted more? From me? 

Had he been thinking about me? 

It would be a lie if I said I hadn’t been thinking about him too. 

A part of me wanted to give in and say it was the end of the world and that nothing else mattered…but I couldn’t do that to Dakota. It would only lead to disappointment. 

“Okay... It happened,” I admitted, trying to do anything except think about last night. “But it can’t happen again.” The words pained me almost as much as it seemed to pain Dakota, the look on his face filling me with shame. 

I hated disappointing him—rejecting him, but I couldn’t get any more attached; I was too damaged for him to want. Once he really knew me… He wouldn't want someone like that. 

I cleared my throat, clarifying, “It doesn’t matter it’s been months. I’m almost twice your age. I’m too old for you, and…” In that moment I wanted to tell him everything; all the reasons why we wouldn’t—couldn’t—be good for each other. All I could manage was a pathetic, “You don’t know me.” 

Dakota’s shoulders slumped, his voice a thin whisper as he said, “That’s not really my fault, is it?” There was a bite to his words, making him wince as he bowed his head. He was silent for a long moment before he continued in a cool, listless tone, “I want to get to know you, Jason. I don’t care about your age—it doesn’t change who you are, or what you mean to me. I can look past that because I care about you… but I see now I’m the only one who feels that way. You could have at least warned me before you slept with me.” His words stung. 

He stood up, skirting around me to pace to his bedroom, the sunny nature which had seemed to pervade his every motion drained away. 

I followed Dakota to his bedroom, seeing him move toward his dresser, likely to change. I grunted, turning to press my back against the wall, not daring to step foot passed the imaginary barrier into his personal space. I’d done enough of that. 

Sighing, I hoped he was listening as I said, “You know I care about you.” 

A drawer shut closed sharply, letting me know not only was he listening, but he was growing increasingly irritated with me. In his lack of verbal response I found my gaze automatically searching for him, glancing over my shoulder. 

He stood with his back to me, just in jeans, holding my shirt tenderly in his hands. 

It made my heart throb, saying with a softer tone, “If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t still be here. I wouldn’t have got you your own weapons or wanted to stay. I’d be on the road, on my own, just like I’ve been for the past six years.” My voice was rising, Carrot’s ears back as she sat by my feet. “You want me to care? Yeah, I care, but you don’t want someone like me, Koda!” 

I flinched at my own words and saw him stiffen. 

I’d never called him that before—an endearing nickname I’d often entertained in my own mind—and now seemed like the worst possible time to let it slip. 

I hurried to continue before he could call me out, just wanting him to understand as much as he could where I was coming from. “I want to stay and teach you to defend yourself. We make a good team together, but when it comes to more than that, it just isn’t a good idea. I’m sorry I’m hurting you, but it’s for the best. I’m not the last man on Earth. You’ve got a lot of life left to explore and grow into who you want to be. Don’t let me hold you back from that.” 

Dakota snorted, a harsh sound that seemed unlike him, slamming a few more drawers before he came out fully dressed, shoving my shirt against my chest. “You’re right,” he said, the words like a slap as he ground them out, “I’m young, and I have a lot of years left, but you know what? It’s my life, and my choices. Don’t tell me how to live it, or what I want.” 

He stepped away from me, snatching up his gun case and harness from where they hung by the door. Dakota strapped the harness on with jerky motions, refusing to look at me until his hand was on the door that led outside. He paused, his shoulders slumping again and he huffed and looked back at me. “I’m heading out. I’m not going to ask you to leave, but don’t follow me. I need some time alone,” he muttered, and then he shoved the door open to exit into the abandoned tunnel. 

My stomach lurched at the thought of Dakota going out on his own after what happened yesterday, and I found myself reaching for him, stepping forward as I said, “Wait!” 

His brown eyes bored into me, challenging me with a single look that made me falter. 

Everything I wanted to say fell away, and I let my hand fall to my side as I murmured, “At least… At least take Carrot.” 

A faint, humorless smile pulled at his mouth. “Fine,” he said, expressionless as he gave a sharp whistle, the sound piercing in the small confines. 

Carrot bounced to her feet, her ears pressed back and her tail lowered as she looked between us; her gaze focused on me for a moment, waiting for permission, before she responded to Dakota when he patted his hand against his leg. He left without any words, stomping down the few steps with Carrot right on his heels before the door slammed shut behind them. 

I stood there, alone with my head reeling and my shirt loosely gripped in my hand. I swore, storming over to my side table as I picked up my cigarettes, tempted to light one right then and there. 

Dakota’s expression was haunting, burned in my mind as I tossed the pack onto the bed, sinking down onto the mattress. Reluctantly, I peered over my shoulder at where Dakota had fallen asleep beside me, stretching out my hand to feel it was still warm. 

Grunting out in anguish, I closed my eyes, holding the shirt he’d been wearing like it was the last piece of him I had. 

Seeing Dakota’s reaction—watching him leave with only a prayer he’d come back unharmed—all I could do was hope in time he’d understand. We needed to find a way to coexist and keep each other safe… I needed to keep him safe without the mess of whatever we were feeling. Because if I couldn’t, then our one night together had just cost me everything I’d come to care for.