Li Tianxun, once known as Heaven’s Might, now known as Douzi, the Local Windshield, sat in front of a cracked mirror.

He poked his cheeks.

Flabby.

He flexed.

His shoulder popped like an old door hinge.

He sighed.

"I used to punch comets. Now I might die sneezing too hard."

But one thing hadn’t changed — his cultivator spirit.

Even in this noodle-bodied husk, Li Tianxun swore to recover his body, teach those Dark Smoke rats a lesson, and maybe stop the kid currently using his sacred body from scratching his butt in public.

---

Scene: Beggar School for Lost Talents

Yup. Turns out, this body belonged to a “student” at the lowest-ranked martial arts school in the empire.

Name: Xuanwu Free-Admission Martial Academy

Motto: “Even trash deserves a second chance.”

Uniform: Potato sacks tied with rope.

Population: 42 hopeless dreamers, 1 angry chef, and a goat that wandered in and never left.

---

Douzi (a.k.a. Tianxun) entered the school gate wobbling like a drunken duck. The moment he stepped inside…

BANG!

A flying sandal hit his forehead.

“Oi, Limp-Noodle! Where’s my breakfast?!” shouted Wu Dali, the self-proclaimed top student — known for mastering the Slap-First-Ask-Later Palm Technique.

Tianxun blinked.

Back in his real body, he’d crush a guy like Wu Dali just by flexing. But now?

Even farting might knock him unconscious.

So he did what any Wulin master would do…

He faked it.

---

Tianxun (smirking): “Breakfast? It’s still digesting inside my stomach. Want it served fresh?”

Everyone froze.

Even the goat stopped chewing grass.

Wu Dali blinked. “Did you just threaten to sh*t on me?”

Tianxun (nodding): “Only if you’re hungry enough.”

---

That day, word spread across the academy.

"Douzi's gone mad."

"He talks like a dragon stuck in a stick insect’s body!"

"He threatened to weaponize his intestines!"

---

Plot Twist Incoming: Ancient Secret Alert

Later that night, as he limped back to the goat’s shed (his sleeping quarters), Tianxun noticed something.

On Douzi’s chest — under layers of dirt, sadness, and leftover rice — there was a birthmark glowing faintly, shaped like a coiling dragon swallowing the moon.

He touched it…

FLASH!

Visions flooded his mind — forgotten temples, celestial beasts, and a whisper:

> “He who is weakest shall inherit the Root of All Origin.”

Tianxun grinned.

“Looks like this body isn’t just for decoration after all.”