I woke up feeling horrible because i tried to stay up all night and pretend i was sick. Of course my mom wouldnt believe me and woke me up at 7 am anyway, and made me get ready. My mom screams at me a lot in the morning. She tells me I'm gonna be late when I still have to wait for a solid 10 minutes at the bus stop. 

I dont get a lot of sleep so I try to sleep wherever and whenever I can. I've even slept in the bathroom once. 

8:10 AM

I have a love-hate relationship with school. Sometimes its the best, sometimes I feel like jumping off the roof. Class hasn't started yet, so I either talk to my friends, or sit and draw. Today im drawing. I decided to try and draw an OC. Our teacher came and took attendance. Our class should start soon. 

9:20 AM 

First period ended. I dont feel like school today will be good. Our teacher always comes late, so I decided to try and complete my OC. I really want it to portray me in a way. I want it to somehow show anyone who knows me to realise it's meant to be me. But I dont have time right now. 

10:10 AM 

Break started. I got guava for snacks today. I like guava. It's a good fruit. I only have 10 minutes to eat. I'm still think about my OC. I don't know what I should do about it. I feel like I should try and make it look like me. It's hard to know what I'm like. 

10:20 AM

Third period started. I forgot what subject it is. I'm pretty sure its math. Or science. I don't know at this point. Our teacher just came, turns out it's social studies(SSC). I don't like SSC. It's a boring subject. I don't really pay attention in class. I should though. 

12:00 PM

After 2 periods, it's lunch. I usually don't like my lunch. I'm still wondering about my OC. It's hard making OCs. I don't know how people do it. Props to them man. I got scolded today. I was drawing in class. I feel really bad when I get scolded. 

12:30 PM 

Class started. I think it's 3L, or third language, if you may. Some of my closest friends are in this class. I hope they sit with me today. I've known them for very long now. They're my best friends. 

3:00 PM 

School ended. Today wasn't a good day. I was really sad. No one sees it tho. They always think I'm happy. i guess I'm good at hiding it. 

3:45 PM 

I reached home. I should change. Nothing really happens during the day. 

4:23

I thought of the time i cut my wrist. I get reminded of it a lot. I dont want to be reminded of it. I wish I could forget it. But it stays like a stain on me, one that won't rub out. My life, my lies, I'll carry them till hell. I wish the world was a better place for me. So I can stay in it happily, carefree. But it won't leave me. I'll stay in this cursed world, with this stain on me. 

I didn't expect to get poetic. That felt nice. 

7:00 PM 

I decided to try and sleep. It didn't work out. I gave up on trying to draw an OC. I've been feeling a little sad lately, my counselor said writing poems helps. Here's mine. 

                                                                    Help This Poor Girl

help this poor girl, 

for she has sinned. 

she went against the lord, 

and his patience has thinned. 

"she decided to be sad about it"

is what they think. 

she wants her problems to wash away, 

in just a single drink.

she told them how she felt

but no one ever cared. 

and now shes depressed, 

and very very scared. 

someone help this girl,

she just wants some peace.

no one cared for her, 

they broke her heart, piece by piece.

she tried to let it out,

she tried to tell the world, 

she tried to help herself, 

she tried to never hurt. 

i guess she was still sad, 

i guess that girl is me, 

i guess i still need help, 

i guess im stuck under debris.

help this poor girl, 

for she realised her pain.

she doesnt need to "grow up",

for she lies her in vain.

I really relaxed after this. 

10:30 PM

I should go to bed now. Today's been a long day. Today wasn't a good day, but stuff like this happens. Tomorrow's another day. Good night.