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We’re Certified Freaks

Chapter 1: She’s a certified Freak

Chapter 1: She’s a certified Freak

Apr 18, 2025

“So, what do you wanna do tonight?” Yuqi asked, flopping back onto her bed with her feet dangling off the side. She glanced at the figure sitting in the corner, the one who hadn’t blinked in the last hour.

Soulless staring.

Yuqi’s face twisted into a playful grin. “I know you love Doritos. I could buy you a new bag. I’ll even get the family-sized one, just for you.”

Soulless staring.

Yuqi huffed dramatically, rolling her eyes. “How about this? A party! I’ll get your bestie, Jigsaw, and we can have a killer time.” She smirked, waiting for some kind of reaction.

Soulless staring.

“You’re impossible,” Yuqi said, shaking her head. “Okay, okay, so you’re not up for a party. I get it. I’ll just sit here and stare at you, like I did last night! You know, like a weird little staring contest.” She grinned, wiggling her eyebrows.

Soulless staring.

Yuqi laughed and threw her hands up. “Fine, you win! I can never beat you at this.” She sighed dramatically, sinking into the bed. “But seriously, Ju On, I just gotta know... Are you mad that I accused you of stealing my Doritos? I didn’t mean it. Don’t worry, I know Ghostface did it. You know I’d never blame you.”

Soulless staring.

Yuqi squinted, raising an eyebrow. “Okay, now you're just pretending. I swear, one of these days, I’m going to get you to crack that emotionless face of yours.”

Soulless staring.

She clapped her hands together. “C’mon, Ju On! You’re not gonna make me wait here forever, are you?” She laughed, leaning forward in anticipation.

And just as she was about to give up, there was a loud BANG! The closet door flew open with a deafening creak, and Yuqi let out a shriek that quickly morphed into laughter.

“Jigsaw! Not when I’m talking to Ju On!” she scolded, trying to calm her racing heart. “You can’t just pop out of nowhere while I’m bonding with him. It’s rude.”

Jigsaw tilted his head, the motion making Yuqi snort. She wiped a tear of laughter from her eye and grinned. “Go downstairs. Go have fun with Ghostface. And, uh—” She paused, suddenly serious, “—tell him to stop eating my lunch! I’m still missing that sandwich from yesterday.”

Yuqi smiled to herself, a wicked twinkle in her eye. “I can never get enough of him. Seriously, Jigsaw, you have to admit, he’s a character.”

She stood up, stretching her arms above her head. “How about you? What do you like to do?”

Soulless staring.

Yuqi didn’t even flinch. She had grown used to this. In fact, she kind of loved it. But before she could say anything more, she heard the familiar sound of the door creaking open.

She didn’t even turn her head. “Twins. How do you always know exactly where I am?” she muttered with a grin, as if the answer was obvious.

The twins didn’t respond, only silently stepped forward and grabbed both of her arms, dragging her toward the door with surprisingly gentle force.

“Okay, okay! I’m coming with you!” Yuqi laughed, letting herself be pulled along, fully embracing the absurdity of the moment. She could never stay mad at them.

“Let’s go, then!” she chirped, “Lead the way to whatever crazy thing you have planned next.”

The twins, whom Yuqi had long since named Lilith and Lillico, were as creepy as they came. One was the creepy one, and the other was, well, also creepy. Yuqi could never tell them apart, no matter how hard she tried. They had this way of moving in perfect unison that made her feel like she was constantly being watched, even when they were miles away. She had a love-hate relationship with them. They were weird. Really weird. But they were her weirdos.

They dragged her down the stairs, both of them holding onto her arms with an unnatural precision that felt more like they were controlling her rather than just guiding her.

“Are we going somewhere, or are you two just showing off your perfect synchronized moves again?” Yuqi muttered with a smirk, trying to shake off the feeling that she might be in some sort of weird horror movie.

They didn’t answer, of course. The twins never did. Their silence was always louder than any words they could’ve said. It made the hairs on the back of her neck stand up every time.

They reached the garage, and Yuqi stopped in her tracks, crossing her arms and eyeing them suspiciously. “You wanna go riding?” she asked, raising an eyebrow.

Both twins nodded at the exact same time, like they were two parts of the same mind. Yuqi sighed, rubbing her temples. “You aren’t making me go riding with Jigsaw so you guys can call Ju On a billion times on the phone, are you?”

The twins shook their heads in unison, their faces as blank as ever, but somehow, Yuqi knew they were lying.

“Okay, fine.” She threw her hands up in mock surrender. “But you promise me you’ll be good, right? No weird stuff tonight. I’ve had enough weird stuff for a lifetime.”

The twins gave no verbal response, but the way they tilted their heads in perfect sync made Yuqi roll her eyes. It was both comforting and mildly terrifying.

“Alright, let’s go. But if you make me regret this,” she warned with a playful grin, “I swear I’m locking myself in the car and driving off without you two. Got it?”

She didn’t get an answer. But she didn’t really need one. They didn’t need to speak. Their actions were enough.

“Well, then,” Yuqi got out her bike playfully. “Let’s go!”

Yuqi and Jigsaw tore down the dark, deserted streets of the suburbs at midnight. The neighborhood was, to put it lightly, weird. The houses looked like they were about to collapse into dust, and the streetlights flickered like they were playing some twisted game of “who can stay on the longest.” It was like the suburbs had taken a wrong turn into a horror movie, and Yuqi was here for it.

Jigsaw wasn’t just good at scaring people. Oh no, no, no. Yuqi had taught him how to ride a bike like a pro, and in return, he taught himself how to play the drums. The sound of those sticks clanging against the plastic seemed to follow him like some kind of creepy, homemade soundtrack.

Jigsaw was flying down the street like some possessed demon on two wheels, going 80 miles an hour with zero chill.

“JIGSAW!” Yuqi screamed, flailing her arms like she was trying to swat away a swarm of bees. “SLOW DOWN! I’m not a freakin’ speed demon like you! I’m not built for this kind of horror movie speed!”

Jigsaw didn’t even look back, just kept pedaling faster. Yuqi’s eyes narrowed into slits. “Oh, I see how it is! You think you’re the star of The Fast and the FREAKY movie, huh? Fine, I’ll show you who’s the real nightmare on this street!”

Her legs were on fire, but she wasn’t about to let this creepy, bike-riding maniac outdo her. She pushed harder, ignoring the pain, and sped up like a demon possessed by some crazy need to beat him.

“YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CAN’T HIDE, JIGSAW!” Yuqi yelled, her voice crackling with a mix of determination and madness. “I'M COMIN' FOR YOU! I'M LIKE A GHOST WHO WON'T STOP CHASING YOU THROUGH YOUR NIGHTMARES!”

She could almost taste victory, but Jigsaw was already a mile ahead, his figure a blur of shadow against the night. Yuqi’s bike screeched as she pushed harder, heart thumping like a drum in her chest.

“You think you can outrun me?” Yuqi grinned as she swerved around a tree and shot forward, faster than ever. “Too bad!”

Suddenly, Jigsaw screeched to a stop at a pizza takeout place. 

“Woah!” Yuqi laughed, nearly tripping over her own feet, “Did I almost crash into you? What happened? You okay?”
She glanced at the empty pizza place.
“Good call,” she grinned, “Ghostface probably devoured all the Spaghetti-Os. He’s a savage like that.”
She pulled into the parking lot of the pizza place—completely deserted. Jigsaw trailed right behind her.
“I’ll take half flaming hot pepperoni, a quarter cheese, and... wait for it... another quarter of olives!” Yuqi beamed.
Jigsaw pointed at the fridge of coke.
“Yeah, alright. Make that one coke,” Yuqi said, glancing at him. “Actually... two. You can’t go around acting like a monster without hydration.”
She peeked at the waiter’s name tag. “Lillian! Oh, sweet! Two of my besties have names that are sorta like that!”
Lillian froze—not because of Yuqi, but because, you know, Jigsaw. Lillian, who clearly lost all

ability to speak, slowly handed them the pizza. Her eyes never left Jigsaw.
Jigsaw passed her the money like he was in a daze.
Lillian just stared.
Yuqi sighed, grabbed the money from Jigsaw’s hand, and stuffed it into the tip jar. “Thanks! Have a killer night, Lillian!”
Once they biked home, Yuqi and Jigsaw strolled into the house, and she slammed the door behind them.
“Dinner’s ready!” Yuqi announced.
The bathroom door creaked open. There stood the twins, Lilith and Lillico.
Then Ghostface crawled out of the cabinet, munching on Spaghetti-Os.
Ju On glanced over but didn’t make a sound.
The gang packed around Yuqi like a bunch of zombies craving brains.
“Okay, okay!” Yuqi laughed, “Hold your horses! One at a time! Lilith and Lillico get the olives... I swear they have some weird obsession with them.” She tossed them the plate. “Ju On gets the cheese. And I’ll give Jigsaw TWO since he actually came out of hiding with me!”
She opened the box again. “I’ll take the flaming hot pepperoni. Ghostface can have the rest—not because he deserves it, but if he doesn’t eat, he’ll lose his mind.”
Yuqi leaned against the counter, propping her chin in her hand. “So, what do you guys wanna do?”
They all pointed at Ghostface.
Yuqi snorted. “This is literally the fourth time tonight you’ve pointed at him. This is what my life’s come to.”
She dug out a box of alcohol markers and began doodling on Ghostface’s mask, because, honestly, he was a canvas. The twins scribbled on him with their olive obsession, Ju On drew creepy dolls all over his face, Jigsaw added some puzzle pieces (no surprise there), and Yuqi? Well, she drew weeds, because flowers were overrated.
Three hours later, everyone was sprawled out on the couch, practically drooling in exhaustion.
Yuqi snickered. “That was a blast! But now I’m gonna finish my paper mache of Ju On—don’t ask. C’mon! Jigsaw’s in charge of breakfast!”

ilit
ILIT

Creator

Even though I've been writing for a while now, please comment me some feedback on how I can make this series more enjoyable.

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We’re Certified Freaks
We’re Certified Freaks

207 views2 subscribers

Meet Yuqi, a 16-year-old who has one goal in life: to fit in... but not in the way you'd think. Her obsessive need to obsess over things is borderline creepy, and she’s totally fine with that. She wants a place where she can be herself—but with a few more freaky souls like her. Who needs "normal," anyway?
Yuqi’s a certified horror nerd.
Her besties include Ghostface (who seriously never stops calling her at 3 AM), Ju-On (who thinks staring at her for 48 hours straight is just "casual"), Twin The Shining (because what’s better than two creepy twins?), and Jigsaw (aka the one who always hides in closets and scares the heck out of her but it’s cool, because he made the rules).
But when Yuqi bumps into a group of human friends—people who don’t even know what q Scream is—she starts questioning everything. Are these humans as cool as her freaky squad? Does she need to change to fit in? Why should she fit in when she's already perfect the way she is?
Why?
Because she’s a certified freak And freaks don’t change. Freaks just find their freaky tribe... or make their own.
Subscribe

5 episodes

Chapter 1: She’s a certified Freak

Chapter 1: She’s a certified Freak

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