[Previously: He glances at specimen zero briefly, “or your neighbors may kill you. That's pretty much it. If you need anything then you didn’t read the pamphlet. If you have any questions, ask someone else. Bye.” He leaves.]

“Okay.” I say to no one in particular and turn back to the window. Opening the curtains and then cracking the window to let some air in. I sit down and look out of the window. I can feel the wind on my skin and am grateful I still have my sense of touch. I look around the enclosed garden for a second, processing everything I saw and what the connotations were in the back of my mind. 

‘They’ve got quite a few zombies, intelligent zombies, I know they already released the hoard in my state. Do the other states know? What’s going on in the rest of the world right now?'

A soft growl gets my attention followed by specimen zero wrapping himself around me pressing his face into my back. I look back at him and notice the door is now shut. I don’t really know what I want to do now. 

After a while I glance at the bathroom door and then get up to a soft protest from Zero. I offer him my hand and he takes it immediately. Only for his hand to slip from mine as he hesitates in the doorway. I observe the shower, making sure it’s fully stocked. I’m wondering if I’d get flashbacks from this too but so far thankfully nothing. I turn back and laugh at the confused zombie.

“You need a shower, or a bath if you’d prefer.” I wait. 

He bares his teeth, “I don’t like bathing.” 

“Well, I’m going to and you can join me if you change your mind.” I say figuring I’d have to find a way to bathe him if he doesn’t join me. 

Once the water gets the temperature I like I start undressing in front of him. He stiffens watching. I make eye contact as I drop the last article of clothing and move on to my bandages. He adjusts in the doorframe pretending not to be interested yet never truly taking his eyes off me only for them to widen as I reveal the dark still unhealed bruises. 

His eyes narrow, “Who?” 

“I don’t want to-relive it right now.” I say pulling back the shower curtain and stepping in. I purposefully leave a large gap in the curtain open so he can see me and vice versa. I let out a long relieved sigh. My body aches and everything is insane but after a hot shower, I have a warm bed, and I bet zero would let me cuddle him. 

He eventually comes closer sitting on the floor and reaching an arm in to check the temperature of the water. I sit down as well and then reach out and hold his hand a little rubbing my thumb against it. I open my mouth to ask if he still doesn’t want to join me but then he tells me, “I don’t like bathing because that’s always where bad stuff would happen.” I close my mouth remembering how beaten and abused he had looked while human. I let it go for now. 

“I’m sorry.” I whisper. 

“I’ll join you if you promise not to touch me.” He says surprisingly nonchalant. I try to meet his gaze but he’s purposefully looking away right now. 

“No touching I promise.” I stiffen as I feel my ribs protest while scooching back in the tub. I laugh, “Guess that means I can’t ask you to help get my back.”  

He grins more like his old self, “You’re not allowed to touch. I said nothing about not touching you.” I cover my mouth, he’s too tiny to be so promiscuous. 

“Well thank you I’m definitely going to need your help for a little bit with these broken ribs.”

He starts undressing, moving out of eyesight while he does so and then covering himself steps in, quickly sitting. 

He sits, hunches over heavily, eyes down and I can see the wariness and regret. I shift to look away and hiss grabbing my ribs. I stay like that until the pain fades and he’s forgotten about himself, hand on my ribs and close to my face. 

I wince because of how I automatically wanted to kiss him. His eyes flick down scared. Scared of my arousal. I feel the heat leave my cheeks immediately. Lowering my eyes I soothe him with a growl. Emotion conveys a little worry and pain. 

Zero keeps his head down but I notice he seems determined to stay and see what I would do. I adjust carefully and lean forwards to wrap my arms around my knees. Water pours over me and he starts playing with the streams of water disrupting the flow. Making it find a new course to travel down my shoulders and arms. He starts talking and it's nice. Telling me about all the times he played in a river near his house as a kid. 

“I found rocks to make a bridge across and worked on it for so many weeks maybe months. Tried to catch minnows and got scared of a salamander that darted towards me.” He laughs a little, “My bridge was almost complete when I was,” He goes silent and I look up a little since he stopped mid sentence. “That’s where the good memory ends.” 

I frown and look down, “When my parents were still together I had a really good childhood. Right out of a movie. They were happy and in love. I got to spend a lot of time with both of them. We went hiking.” I laugh and rub my ribs very softly. “It was terrible, we got lost for a while and ended up getting back to our car as the sun was going down, exhausted, sweaty, and bitten up by mosquitos.” I mess with the ends of my hair watching water stream from it. “But I’d give anything to have another day like that.” 

He moves forwards until he presses against me and I go still trying not to move in any way that could startle him. I realize I’m hogging the water but I don’t speak either. He puts his head on top of mine very tentatively and then after a really, really long time relaxes. I breathe out in relief and look at his collarbones.

Surprisingly flashing back to one time he came into the gas station, dripping wet, wearing only an oversized hoodie, one eye red and teary. He wiped his broken bloody nose and ordered cigarettes different from what he normally got. 

I’d looked at the hickies on his collarbone while ringing him up and said nothing. He looked ashamed that I saw him like that but also broken. Something about his gait and whatever was dripping down his inner thigh…I calm the anger rising up in me. Annoyed that I didn’t do anything more back then. I had my own place. I could have called him back and he would have listened immediately. Had him sit in the back office until I got off work but I let him walk right back to his abuser who was obviously humiliating him on purpose by sending him to get cigarettes in that state. 

I didn’t care about him or anyone else.

I whisper, “I’m sorry.” 

He growls softly, a warning, misunderstanding what I meant at first. 'I guess thinking I was going to break the no touching rule.'

“I knew you were being abused and I didn’t do anything about it.” 

He pulls away wet hair plastered to his face, eyes searching mine. 

His grey eyes look at me and I see the infatuation, “You’re glossing over the fact I was stalking you.”

I remember it and shrug, “You weren’t that intimidating at the time.”

He doesn’t seem bothered as he says, “I spent most of my infection in a tank of water.” He looks up at the water cascading down and then murmurs, “The changes happened quickly even though I was strong enough to do something about it I couldn’t for the longest time. I had to be pushed.” 

I wait for him to continue as he’s lost in thought.

“By the time you noticed my eyes I could have hurt you.” Something about the way he says it makes me wonder if he fantasized about that. 

“Is that why you were following me home?” I can feel my heart beat once and breath catching even as I try to sound calm. 

He doesn’t answer at first and looks down. “No. No, I didn't know what to do with my instincts and feelings. You didn’t report me for creeping around, you were nice to me once, so I desperately wanted to make you notice me.”

“I’ve noticed you.” I say lifting my eyebrows at us in the shower together and remembering the car moment flushing.

After a while I have to ask, “When you said you were pushed. Your abuser, did you kill him?”

“Them.”

I blink and then narrow my eyes a little.

“All of them.” He whispers.

I have to look away as I process that.

“C, can I?” I lift my arms a little, “You can hug me if you want?” I offer. He shakes his head and looks away. 

“Okay.” I say and gesture to the shampoo, “I’m just gonna…” I reach for the shampoo. 

Watching the pain in my eyes increase as I stretch, Zero stops me quickly.

I go silent confused as he takes over squirting the shampoo into his hands. A soft laugh leaves my mouth. I'm enjoying it as he washes my hair. 

‘Surprisingly thorough from someone who doesn't like bathing.’ 

His claws are gentle with my scalp. I didn’t realize I was once again doing the zombie equivalent of a purr. After rinsing my hair he adds conditioner and slicks it all back away from my face and eyes. He touches me softly and I look up a little surprised to see him turned on.

He doesn’t say anything as I’m not sure if I should look away. I glance up at his face flushed as I watch him lean, pressing against me to grab the soap. I wince as he goes over my ribs and then he slows washing me a lot softer. 

When he finishes washing my entire front and legs avoiding that one area he hesitates then to my surprise starts even more carefully washing there. 

It quickly turns to something else and I relax against his soft presses. 

It starts to feel good and I murmur, “That’s enough, I can-” He lifts my face and presses his mouth against my lips. I hesitate as he seems voracious and I know he must be emotionally vulnerable. I was right as he whimpers.

“Shh, shh.” I pull away, “What are you doing?” 

He pants for a while and then shaking his head hard, "I'm fine." He tells me and returns to cleaning my front with one hand except the other he’s slipping between my asscheeks. I let him go so far because I immediately think there’s no way. He’s already just as gently, pressing, teasing softly there. 

Before suddenly pressing a finger into my anus up to the first digit. I let out a startled gasp and have to slam a hand on the wall, and grab the tub edge to resist grabbing his forearms. I wonder where in the world he got the idea that I’m a bottom. Does he want to top me?

He blinks back into reality startled, looking down and then away. 

I cover myself. Virus racing through my veins and still hard as a rock, “Are you okay?” I ask as his whole body is shaking. When he doesn’t respond I murmur, “I’ll finish washing there.”

He looks like he’s disassociated again and gritting his teeth growls, “Turn around.” 

Unsure at first I turn as quickly as possible with my ribs but then he starts washing my back. I inevitably relax again. 

He leans against my back, “Is this okay?” 

I look back as I nod confused. “What happened?” I ask knowing I probably shouldn’t have as his face hardens teeth baring again. Only for him to look embarrassed. 

“I forgot it’s not considered normal I’m so used to doing that.”

I very carefully move my neck, which he responds by laying his head on my shoulder and face towards me. “You’re used to doing that for yourself or others?” He messes with my waist and hips which is unfair. 

“Myself.” He answers finally. “I want to do it with you.” 

I go to protest, “I’m not a bottom-” 

“I’ll bottom,” he begs and I start hesitating. It's hard because he’s offering it but I’m not about to forget his whimpering so soon.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m not fragile!” He exclaims and sounding more like a zombie. 

I safely agree. I feel him washing himself and his hair. It’s nice even though my non-beating heart is frightening still. My veins are pulsing a little with adrenaline. The whole time he barely leaves my neck alone panting into it as I realize he must be cleaning himself back there. After a second he presses something else against me and I tense a little bit at first. 

“Let's go to the bed.” He suggests softly. 

I watch him closely as he turns off the water and wraps me in a towel. Then stand and follow him slowly, limping a little from my leg falling asleep. He towels off quickly gaining confidence as we get further and further from the bathroom. I watch him sit on the bed looking up to see me far away, waiting. He pats the bed and I shuffle over. He laughs a mischievous sparkle in his eyes as he towels me off. Making sure to be gentle. I lean into his touch again and he pauses to give me a little growl. 

“I’m not fragile.” He repeats.

“Well I am.” I hold my ribs.

“Lay down, I'll do all the work.” He says breathily. He seems confused when I hesitate again. 

“Are you sure I don’t want you to-” ‘Freak out, think I’m like your abuser.’

He shoves me back against the bed and I let out an oomph, catching my breath. I’m unable to hide the arousal, pain, and concern. Zero’s veins are pulsing probably with adrenaline just like mine. I’ve been reminded that he’s stronger than me but instead of immediately pouncing on me and pushing like in the car he’s watching my reaction. Once I realize it’s over my ribs I relax a little. 

I decide to growl softly in encouragement, “It’s up to you if you want to do it.” 

He grins and crawls on top of me. 

My arms lift and I protest softly as he pins them. I’m nervous. The viruses within me seem to swirl confused whether I’m in danger or not. Under all that dirt his skin is still obviously not human and an unimaginable amount of scars slice through it. I try to lift my arm again wanting to brush his sides but he tightens his grip making it clear he wasn’t going to allow movement. His teeth graze my neck and I do everything I can to stay still.