Well, my parents may not have noticed the new red necklace I was blessed with, but my new college counselor definitely wasn’t impressed. It’s only my second day here, and I already hate it.

I was supposed to be in an international college, but this local ITE accidentally took me in. Totally busted my chance to go anywhere else,

Where am I now? Hospitality Operations, whatever that means.

All I know is I’m stuck here this year, dead or alive—and they want me in a skirt.

And if you’ve got eyes, you can see I’m a boy. But you can also see the “female” printed on my ID.

They deemed me “unstable.”

So without wasting one more second—or me even figuring out if I’m alive or not—I got bounced from a clinic to the emergency department of what people like to call The Happy Home.(imh).

The doctors checked my arms, my neck, and everything else they had to. They changed my gender on the system three times,they couldn’t tell.

 If there’d actually been an emergency, I would’ve been dead by the time they saw me.yet I am hoping a group of adults that can’t even spell my name right to solve any of my problems.

My phone was jumping around like a dying fish,I let it die

I was still very much trying to process everything (I don’t really remember the details, even now).

I knew it was my mom. She knew I was here and wanted nothing to do with it.

For the first time, I didn’t listen to her.

I was too far gone to listen to anyone.

At 9PM, I finally got to see the doctors.

I remember kindly requesting, “Whatever you guys do to electric-shock the gay out of people—or to kill them—I’m not really sure. But go ahead. Zap me.”

They looked at me like I was purple.

But I did get a memo to pressure the school not to make me wear a skirt—because quote-“ patient might die” 

And I got a referral to see the top child psychiatrist,like that could do anything.

Yeah. I got help.

But I also did something horrible that my parents are going to punish me for.

They sent me to my older sister’s house that night. I wasn’t allowed home.

I still don’t know how or why.

I don’t know anything at all.

I’m just a little tired, a little sleepy, a little bit of everything.

I didn’t do it.

I don’t know why.

My sister’s words were circling my head, biting,eating into my brain:

“I know you think you did nothing wrong, but you have to apologise …”

For making it?

God I still gotta go to school.