I guess it was night time now. For the time being I’ll close this up and hide the fact that I had seen it. Mittens followed me out into the hallway as I heard the heavy footsteps of my father climbing the stairs. 

“Cynthia! Young lady where on earth have you gone?!” My father shouted as I walked down the hall towards his footsteps.

“Here I am father.” I replied sheepishly.

“I thought we agreed that you shall reply when I call for you. You should listen when I speak as your father. My statements should hold a lot of gravitas.” He says in a condescending tone.

“Yes, sir. I am sorry I had just fallen from the shock of the thunder and hadn’t heard you calling.” I responded.

“I see. You do look a mess. You should be used to the thunder and storms by now. Also how come you have not dressed yourself this entire day? This is my fault. I have let you become lazy. Maybe we do need to re-enroll you in etiquette classes.” He says very matter of factly.

“No, sir. I mean please reconsider. I will dress like a proper lady and clean myself off.” I say hurrying off before he could continue.

All I heard behind me was him yelling again as I headed for a shower. I cleaned off all of the grime I had accumulated from that dust filled room and washed my messy hair. I tied it up again in a tight bun sticking a pin through it and got dressed in a blue gown for dinner.

I knew that if I had messed up again I was certainly doomed to be sent to etiquette classes. What a joke. Honestly, all those classes ever taught me were to be subservient to men. As is the place of women. Just like mother pretended to be. But it was plain to see who pulled the strings in our family. No one believed for a second that the bumbling buffoon that was my father was in charge of our house.

I walked down the grand staircase and headed for the dining room. As I walked there I looked out the many windows that we had looking down towards the small town beneath our hill. I saw the storm raging so hard that I could barely make out the faint lights of the town below us. I bet they all envied us and even envied me to an extent but if only they knew what my life was.

I am by no means saying that it is harder than theirs, necessarily just different. I felt like rapunzel. Locked away in a tower away from everyone. Never to see the light of day and relinquished to the shadow that loomed over our world.

I finally reached the dining room and saw my mother and father sitting at either head of the long banquette table. My place was set square in the middle and I walked past the portraits of my late grandparents that always seemed to cast a ghastly presence over the room. I curtsied to my parents as any polite lady would and then waited for Lucious to pull out my chair. As a proper lady should never exert her meager and dainty self. 

After what feels like an eternity of silence my mother breaks the quiet with a ding of her wine glass. She tapped the edge with her fork to call attention to herself. She then began to lift her glass, raising a toast to the room.

“To our precious family. No matter how upsetting our daughter is. She seems to grasp at least the basics of womanhood. She has made herself presentable and to this I commend her for understanding the most basic principles of our culture. A toast to etiquette.” She said in a cold calculated tone. She knew exactly what she was saying was not a compliment but an excuse to attack me again.

I smiled and raised my glass at the same time my father raised his and we both replied.

“To etiquette.”

The room fell into a heavy silence again. How I wished this dinner could just be over but we haven’t even gotten our main course. I silently ate my salad not lifting my head so as to not meet my mothers gaze. As I could feel her eyes boring a hole into my very soul.

“Cynthia, what have you been up to today?” My father said,

“What drivel is this you are saying? Of course she was reading or watching shows or lazing around. What else has she done for the last few years? Her and that disgusting monster she keeps around.” My mother snapped back before I could respond.

I sat there silently as did my father. He looked like a puppy who had just been yelled at by his owner. She had this way of making you feel inferior without even trying. Just then Lucious brought out the main course of our dinner. I ate at a moderate pace wishing I could just scarf it down and escape to my room. But I knew that mother would have more words to use to attack me if I did. So I decided it would be better to just finish at a normal pace and leave this suffocating atmosphere.

I finished my entree a few seconds before Lucious brought out the dessert. I looked to my mother for approval to eat any and she just frowned at me. She was saying that a lady mustn’t over indulge herself, it would be unsightly. She didn’t even have to say a word to me. I knew exactly what she was thinking with just that one shake of her head.

“If I may. I would like to be excused from dinner to go get ready for bed.” I said meekly.

“You may leave. Make sure to put on your nightwear for bed and I do not mean those ‘pajamas’ you always wear around.” My mother replied, getting one last quip in before I left the table. I walked past my father and gave them both a curtsy as I exited the room toward the kitchen.

I walked through the kitchen nodding at our chef Susette and then walked toward my room. Susette smiled back sadly knowing how hard it was to work for and be around my parents, especially my mother. Susette had been our private chef for as long as I can remember.

I got to my room and walked over to my curtains pulling them closed. I then undressed and got into my nightgown. As my mother wanted. Then I laid down and stared up at the ceiling. I wished I could just escape this world. I had the clouds. I hate the feeling my mother gave me. I hated this house most of all. It did not feel like home. It felt haunting. It felt terrifying. I didn’t know my grandmother well but for my mom to turn out the way she was I’m sure she was probably not the best of parents.