why was i so corny holy shit. its kind of sad to look back and see all the things i was going through at such a young age though. anyways im 17 now. im still depressed and i still have anxiety but i think im in a better place than i was back then honestly. my relationship with my mom got better. she never hated me we honestly just aren't compatible as people. it took me moving out to understand that. my depression has gotten better. i got up and showered today, i started thinking about my future, im looking for a job, yk, all the stuff non depressed people do. not every day is perfect but at least i don't think about killing myself EVERY day anymore lmao. my anxiety got worse though. i stopped going to school in person because it was so bad. my anxiety presents itself through back pain, stomach pain, and headaches so it would literally hurt every morning getting ready for school. i would lay on the floor and cry because of how badly i didn't want to go. i didn't want anyone to see me. but now i do online school so thats good kind of. my social skills are declining rapidly but im just happy im not toppled over in pain every morning lmao. but yeah i just wanted to put and update here because i randomly remembered i had wrote this and i like the idea of ending it on a good note. this might not be the end though if anyone actually reads this.