She rejected me. In probably the ugliest way you can imagine. I really try not to remembering all the things she said to me, but it's hard to forget when someone who you thought was your twin in almost everything but age tells you you'll die alone. I never received a genuine apology for the things she said and I never forgave her before I cut contact. I still haven't forgiven her.

Writing Pet for Lease, in a way, is a means for me to heal from what happened between us. Solaris (she/they) and their older half-sister Selena (she/her) remind me a lot of me and my own sister, at least before I came out; they get along, playfully bicker, make up, and support each other. Funnily enough, Selena didn't even exist until I started writing Chapter 1 and realized I needed a buffer to introduce Vixen and Solaris; it reminds me of a lot of the girls I first asked out. Things could have been so much better if she'd accepted me. But she didn't. And now she's gone.

But, if things hadn't gone the way they did, maybe Wrong Side of the Bed, Pet for Lease, and all the other stories in the Immortal Plane Saga wouldn't exist. Maybe I'd be happier or maybe I'd still be stuck in some of the same cycles of abuse. Maybe my mom wouldn't have even tried to accept me if I didn't come out to her with the experience I had after coming out to my sister. Not that it matters much, since I'm no contact with her too, but I'm not sure how I would have taken a worse coming out from her.

All I know for sure is that my stories are the way they are because of the trauma I've experienced, whether from my mom, my dad, my sister, or other parts of this cruel world that I've experienced first, second, or third hand. And I know that in the end, at least for my creations, things will be okay. So maybe it'll all be okay in the end for me and everyone else.