Five: New Boyfriend? 

Rocket insisted on walking Philo back to the apartment, and Philo could not convince him otherwise. So, they walked along the streets again. It was early enough that there were a few cars out, likely people headed to work for an early shift. As they walked along the road, Philo took each pole in his hand and did a little spin around it.  

“So, what are you doing tomorrow?” Rocket asks once Philo reaches the last pole for a while. He quickly corrects himself, staring sheepishly at the rising sun in the sky. “Well, today. I guess I mean today.”  

Philo yawns, raising a hand to cover his mouth. When he’s done with that, he gives Rocket a questioning look.  

“Not sure. I put out flyers around the city for all kinds of jobs. Nobody has called about anything today.” He explains. 

“I think I’ve seen some of them.” Rocket tells him, and he gives Philo a little smile. They were nearing the apartment now, and they had both started walking slower. Philo wasn’t sure why Rocket was doing it, but he just didn’t want to go back yet. He didn’t want to see Sara. “You know... my dad needs some help with fixing up the stair banister.”  

“What’s he trying to do with it?”  

“Well, the homeowners before him painted over the original wood in multiple coats. He wanted to strip it and polish it.” Rocket explains, and then they are both standing in front of the alleyway that leads down to Sara’s apartment. It’s dark and unwelcoming. Philo fills with dread the second he peers into the shadows. 

“You want me to help your dad?” Philo asks, leaning on the stone wall to the entrance of the alley.  

“Only if you want to.” Rocket’s hands shoot up, palms facing Philo. “I know you’re probably busy, but we would pay you well.”  

They both fall silent for a while. 

“Okay, I’ll think about it. See you later” Philo finally says, and Rocket’s hands lower, slowly. A small, intimate smile overcomes his mouth, and Philo looks away, heading into the depths of the alley. He didn’t feel he deserved to be looked at like that, not by Rocket.  

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽ ☆ ☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅ 

The next day felt incredibly normal. The sun woke Philo up through the windows around noon, and the apartment was silent. He sat up, searching around the place for Sara or Ian with just his eyes. Ian was likely at school, but Sara was probably out doing something so she wouldn’t have to see him. That was fine with Philo, he preferred it that way.  

Philo headed for the bathroom and brushed his teeth, took a shower, washed his face, and slicked back his hair. He even added a pair of dangly silver earrings to both ears. He threw on a t-shirt and some baggy jeans. He had a new hidden talent of avoiding his own eyes in the mirror, and this was a perfect time to practice.  

He still had not gotten a call about any jobs today, so he figured he could call up Rocket about fixing his dad’s stair banister, but before he could do that, he heard a faint knocking on the apartment door.  

Upon opening it, he realized it was Eero. He looked tired, eyes sunken in and dark. He had a loose hood over his head that shaded his face. When he sees Philo, a small, faint smile grows on his mouth. 

“Hey, P!” He says, pulling Philo into a hug.  

“What are you doing here?” Philo asks, not impolitely. It was just unusual for Eero to show up unannounced.  

“I was worried you had died or something, man! I took off work today to come check on you.” He says, pulling away from the hug and taking Philo by his shoulders. “Thought that gas station owner had figured out where you lived and killed you in your sleep.” 

Philo rolls his eyes and takes out the pack of cigarettes in his jean pocket. He offered one to Eero, who took it; he lit both up with the black lighter he always carried around with him in case of an emergency stress smoke. The ends lit up red and orange, a welcoming sight for Philo. 

Taking a long drag, he turns to Eero. “Want to come with me to a job today? I could use the extra help.”  

Eero lets out a dense cloud of smoke before he answers.  

“Sure, but Rachel wants me home by five.”  

“What is she, your mom?” Philo lets out an amazed laugh. He couldn’t imagine having someone feel the need to boss him around like that. 

“No, but I think she’s the one.” Eero says dreamily, kneading his fist into his palm. 

“Alright dude, whatever you say.” Philo takes another drag, and they both fall silent. The only irritating noise that persists is Smoky a few feet away, meowing for no good reason.  

Eero asks gently now, “What happened?”  

“Which part?” Philo bites his lip.  

“All of it. Why didn’t you answer your phone when I called?”  

“I was doing a job the first time you called. Second time, I didn’t feel like answering.” Philo takes another long drag, coughing up white smoke.  

“Just give me a heads-up next time you go M.I.A., alright?”  

“Sure thing.” Philo grumbles, and he pulls out his flip phone. He pulls up Rocket’s contact and calls him. It rings once, twice, and Rocket answers.  

“Hey!” He sounds cheerful, like usual. 

“Hey, Rocket.” Philo says into the phone. Eero watches with curiosity, taking short drags from his cigarette and leaning over the porch railing. “Your dad still need help with the banister?” 

“Oh, yeah. Are you able to do that soon?” 

“I can today, if that’s alright.”  

“Of course, man! What time can you come over?” 

“Mm... now?” Philo lets out a little chuckle into the line, and Rocket does, too. 

“That works. I’ll try to clean up a bit before you get here.” 

“You know I don’t care about that.” Philo tells him. 

“I know. I’m still going to do it, though.”  

“Alright.” Philo pauses, turning to Eero. He had forgotten he was still there. “Oh, and is it okay if I bring someone along?”  

Rocket pauses over the line. Philo listens to the static for a moment before asking, “You there?” 

“Yes, I am. Are you bringing your girlfriend? Sara?” 

Philo lets out a surprised breath, “Oh, God no.”  

“Right... I’ll text you the address. See you soon.”  

Philo snaps his phone closed and turns to Eero, who has a dumb grin spread wide across his face.  

“Who was that?” He asks nosily.  

“Rocket. We are helping his dad today.” Philo explains, putting out his cigarette on the railing and tossing it in the ash tray by the door.  

“Rocket? What kind of name is that?” Eero snorted. 

“His real name is Asa.” Philo explains, heading down the stairs now. Eero scrambles behind him, trying to catch up.  

“Why have I never heard about him before?” Eero jabs his elbow into Philo’s side, who lets out a grunt in surprise. He just rolls his eyes once he catches yet another stupid grin on his face. “Is he your new boyfriend?” 

Philo shoots a harsh glare at Eero as they near the alleyway. Smoky follows them for a while but gets distracted by a low-flying blue bird and disappears into a bush.  

Philo was getting irritated by all the questions, especially this one. 

Philo knew he wasn’t entirely straight, he had known for most of his life. He had been okay with it, not knowing any different when he was young. When he got older, he realized people didn’t like it when others strayed from the “normal.” There had been rumors in his school, someone had seen him and another boy from his grade behind the baseball bleachers on a cloudy, muddy day. A day they both thought nobody would be there. 

The other boy changed schools, but Philo’s father insisted he stay. The bullying that ensued from then on made Philo hate that part of himself. If so many people found him disgusting, why shouldn’t he think of himself the same?