You’d think surviving a time-bending, dimension-warping shadow beast would earn us a nap.

You’d be wrong.

“You’re both sweating,” Dionysus said, leaning against a tree, sipping wine like this was a picnic. “That’s either post-battle glow or you’re turned on. Honestly, both are hot.”

Astronaros groaned. “Can someone put a cork in him?”

“Darling, I am the cork. Keeps the chaos from spilling all over.” He smiled at me like I was a vintage bottle he was thinking about uncorking next. “But if you want me to spill, Pneumeros, all you have to do is ask.”

I choked. “W-What?”

“Ignore him,” Astro muttered, wiping his blade clean. “He flirts with trees.”

“They don’t flirt back, though,” Dionysus pouted. “Unlike certain tense little time demigods who keep glancing at their broody best friend every time he swings a sword.”

“I wasn’t—!” I started, turning red.

Hephaestus suddenly became very interested in fixing his gauntlet.

Apollo just cackled from a nearby branch. “Told you this would be fun.”

Hermes whistled low. “Already shipping it.”

“Not a ship!” Astro snapped, crossing his arms. “We’re just—”

“Deeply emotionally codependent?” Dionysus offered.

“Bound by fate?” Apollo added.

“Practically soulmates with unresolved tension and matching trauma?” Hermes said, grinning.

Poseidon, who had been suspiciously quiet, muttered, “You two cuddle in your sleep.”

Astronaros froze.

I froze.

“…We do not!” we said in unison.

Poseidon shrugged. “I watch tides. I watch people. Same thing.”

Dionysus stepped between us, twirling his goblet lazily. He tilted Astro’s chin up with a finger, completely invading his personal space. “So serious. You need to loosen up, spaceling. Ever had a wine bath?”

“I—what—no!” Astro stepped back like he’d been hit with a scandal.

Dionysus turned to me, all wicked curves and lazy temptation. “You, maybe? You’ve got that whole quiet-burny type. Slow time. Slow kisses. Bet you unravel beautifully.”

My brain: blue screen of death.

“Is this—are you seriously—flirting with both of us?” I managed to say.

“Oh, sweet thing. You haven’t even seen me flirt yet.” He leaned in close, wine-sweet breath brushing my neck. “But if you’re into training, we could start slow. I have many lessons to teach.”

He was so close, and I should have stepped away—but I didn’t.

I mean, in my defense, I’ve never been seduced by a literal god before. Or anyone. Period.

Astronaros grabbed my wrist—not hard, just enough to pull me back a step. His eyes didn’t quite meet mine. “We’re here to train. Not… whatever that is.”

Dionysus tilted his head. “You jealous, starlight?”

“No!”

“Because if you want to be in the middle, I’m not opposed. There’s room for both of you.”

“I—We’re not—!?” Astro sputtered, pink high on his cheekbones now.

I, helpfully, continued to forget how to breathe.

Apollo gave a slow clap. “Beautiful. Perfect. I give the tension a solid 9.5. Knocked half a point because no one kissed.”

“Yet,” Dionysus added, winking.

“Okay!” I clapped my hands, trying to erase the heat burning in my ears. “Can we go back to the part where we’re being tested and not… flirted into oblivion?”

Dionysus sighed dramatically. “Fine. But later, we’re doing eye contact exercises. And maybe a group massage.”

Poseidon muttered something about moving to another forest.

Hermes slid beside me, grinning. “You’re not used to attention, huh?”

“Was it that obvious?”

“You looked like you were about to melt into a time puddle.”

“I might still,” I muttered.

Hephaestus spoke up, his voice quiet but kind. “Dionysus jokes, but... there’s truth in his tests. Desire isn’t always physical. Sometimes it’s about what you’re willing to reach for, even if it scares you.”

I blinked at him.

Hephaestus shrugged. “Just something to think about.”

Astronaros still looked rattled.

So did I.

But under the embarrassment and confusion and heat, something else stirred.

Curiosity.

Not just about Dionysus and his bedroom eyes, or even about how Astro had pulled me back like I was his to protect.

But about all of it. Us. Them. This.

Whatever fatebound meant.

Because if that was the first trial?

We were in serious trouble.