Before heading back to the small town of Riverstone I decided to go on one more walk with Blue around the city. I wore sunglasses and a hat this time since it was bright out and more of a chance for people to recognize my face.

You'd be surprised how many people don't recognize me because they don't expect celebrities to be casually walking about in casual clothes.

Much like last time, the boy had his guard up but this time he occasionally added small things to the conversations. So, I took it as a win.

“A lot of the clips that have been released are actually from a pool with fake waves and a surf board that moves itself. My feet are actually strapped on to it but they remove that with editing,” I explain.

“That’s interesting. So if you have all of that, why are you practicing surfing?” Blue asked, gazing up at me.

“Because there’s a scene that’s supposed to be really intense and it would be way better if it was authentic.”

“I see,” Blue hummed. He looked back in front of him just as a large man walked too close, bumping his shoulder.

Like a switch flicking, Blue’s posture completely changed into a defensive stance, like one a boxer might take before he strikes. And strikes he does.

Blue shot out both arms hard and fast, shoving the guy a foot away from him, “watch where you’re going, dickhead!” He yelled, his voice deeper than usual. Blue squared his shoulder’s as if preparing for a fight.

The man turned on Blue, anger written across his face, “the fucks your problem?” He took a step forward like he was about to hit Blue.

I was quick to step in the middle of them, “woah! Woah guys come on now. It was an accident no need to get physical here.” Then I turned to the man, “it’s been a long day, sorry. We’re both just going to walk away now, okay?”

“Couple a pussies. Starting shit you can’t finish. Get the fuck outta my face now, eh?” The man cursed and spat on the sidewalk.

I nodded, dragging Blue away.

“What the fu-“ I stopped myself and took a breath, letting it out in a sigh, “Blue, what was that about?” I spoke calmly to the boy who now seemed disoriented.

“Huh?”

My face scrunched in confusion, “the thing that just happened? Why’d you shove that guy?”

Blue mirrored my confused look, “I shoved him?”

What in the hells…?

“I…” I’m speechless. “Did you hit your head on something?” I gently took Blue’s chin in my hand, rotating his head around and feeling for a bump with my other hand.

Blue pulled away, “this happens sometimes. Whenever something big happens I forget it because my mind gets too loud and it distracts me from whatever happens so I miss it.”

“What?”

Blue shrugged.

“You know what, I think we should stay in the city an extra day. I have a friend I want you to meet,” I said.

🌊🌊🌊

Blue sat on my couch, staring at the family photos I have on the wall while I dialed Bri’s number. It only rang twice before she picked up.

“Heyy, pookie! What’s up?” Briana greeted. It sounded like she was in a busy place.

“Hey do you have a second to talk? Maybe come over today?” I asked, as I paced the length of the room.

“Hang on,” Bri said. I heard some movement, a door closing and the line went quiet before she spoke again, “okay yeah, what’s going on? Should I head over now? Are you still in the city?”

West sighed, “It’s Blue… I- I don’t know he’s been acting… weird and I’m so worried and I feel like this whole situation is bigger than me and I really want to help him. I don’t know… he’s just so… so real and I care about him and no one deserves-“

“West,” Bri cut him off, “slow down, tell me what’s been going on?”

“Okay, so he has like these… episodes I guess where he acts vastly different than he usually does. Like it’s almost as if he turns into a whole different person.” I try my best to explain, but how can I explain something I don’t even understand myself.

“What do you mean?” Bri asks.

“Okay, like,” I sigh, “just a few minutes ago we were out on a walk and just chatting. He was acting very reserved, shy, stepping out of the way whenever someone got too close to him until someone bumped his shoulder and suddenly his whole posture changed and he shoved the guy and then starting yelling at him. Yelling, Bri, Blue doesn’t yell. He barely talks, which we’re working on and I’m kinda proud of him for standing up for himself but what worries me is that after he didn’t even remember doing it.”

Bri was thoughtfully silent on the other end of the line before she spoke up, “I think I need to speak with him before making any assumptions. There’s a few things that could have caused a reaction like that but I’m not a psychiatrist… I don’t want to diagnose him with something just to worry you and it end up being wrong. But maybe if I can get an idea of what’s going on I can connect him with a doctor who specializes in cases similar to his.”

West relaxed a bit at having some concept of a plan. At least he had Blue on a track. “Okay, when can you be here?”

I’m staring blankly at the pictures on West’s wall, my brain swimming with thoughts.

Based off of West’s reaction I’m assuming it’s not normal for the thoughts in your head to get so loud that you don’t remember what your body decided to do without your permission.

We help you though.

Right.

I bite my lip as I think to myself. Are these thoughts even normal? I can’t remember a time I didn’t have my brain giving me random pieces of advice or blocking out bad memories or just… talking to me. It’s normal to talk to yourself isn’t it?

My head was starting to hurt with all the overthinking I was doing. I’m sure I’m fine.

You are fine. We protect you. We always have and we always will. There’s nothing abnormal about that, don’t listen to him.

I groaned out loud making West look over at me as he spoke quietly on the phone with someone. We were back home now, still in the city because West wants me to meet someone. Someone who’ll “know how to help me,” or so he says.

I feel a weight settle next to me, snapping me back into reality. I look over to see West looking at me with a reassuring smile, “my best friend, Briana, majored in psychology in college. She graduated with her Masters before her cover videos blew up and now she’s a pop star.”

I huffed out a small laugh, “is she the one coming over?”

West nodded, “she’s the witch I told you about. The one that turned my cat into a frog,” West rolled his eyes.

I laughed, looking down at the ball of fluff in my lap. I felt a little nervous at the thought of someone coming here to assess me. What if I didn’t want to know what’s wrong with me? I mean, I know there’s probably a lot wrong but it’s scary thinking about being told by a stranger that I’m not normal.

“Psst.”

I looked back over at West. I could feel the look of worry on my face.

“She’s really nice, Blue. She’s not going to dissect your brain or anything.”

Right on time, the doorbell rang and I looked at West with pure panic in my eyes.

He just gave me a reassuring smile before he yelled for the person on the other side of the door to come in.

I brought Mr. Whiskers up to my chest, and brought my legs up on the couch, trying to take up as little space as possible before a tall, thin, woman rounded the corner. Her bright green eyes landed on me and she smiled brightly.

“Hey Bri,” West greeted, standing up to hug her.

This gave me a chance to look her over. She had long, blonde, pin straight hair with bright, thick, green highlights. She was wearing a tight, sequined, mini skirt with a white crop too that clearly exposed her purple lacy bra underneath.

She finally turned to me with a smile, “hey, you must be, Blue. West talks about you a lot. He thinks your smile is cute.”

I blushed a bright red as my eyes snapped over to an embarrassed West.

“Briana!” West groaned, annoyed.

Briana sat down on the floor in front of me, prompting Mr. Whiskers to wiggle out of my hold and strut his fluffy butt into her lap instead.

I glared at the cat and brought my knees to my chest instead. Little traitor.

“I’m Briana it’s very nice to meet you, Blue. Sorry about my outfit. I just came from a party.”

I nodded shyly at her. My throat felt too tight to speak at the moment even though I knew eventually I’d have to. If of course, I wanted this girl’s help.

“I just wanted to talk to you today to see if I can connect you with a doctor friend of mine. Is that okay?” She asked as she casually pet the cat.

I nodded.

“So, West mentioned today that you experienced a little gap in your memory. Is that something that happens often?”

I nodded, yes.

Briana hummed, “do you ever maybe feel like you’re watching yourself experience things. Like you’re out of your body?”

I nodded again. I got a sense I was failing some sort of test.

“While you’re feeling this way does it ever feel like maybe someone else is talking to you in your mind?”

I cleared my throat and hesitantly answered, “kind of. They’re just… thoughts though.”

Briana nodded, “do these thoughts ever have separate opinions from your own?”

I bit my lip and nodded. Even just a few minutes ago my brain was telling me not to listen to West but I don’t see the meaning in that. West hasn’t lead me astray yet. He’s usually been right about a lot of things.

Regardless, I didn’t like how all of my answers have been yes so far.

“This one may be a loaded question but, do you ever feel like you lose control of your body and someone else seems to take over?”

I nodded and let my head drop to my knees, “is something wrong with me?” I croaked.

“Oh honey, there’s nothing wrong with you. There are people out there who are experiencing the same thing you are right now and there are professionals who understand these kinds of experiences.” Brianna spoke with a motherly tone.

I glanced up at her, “what is it then?”

Briana pulled her lips in and seemed to think about her words carefully, “well, I’m not a doctor so anything I say is just an educated guess, okay?” She looked between both West and I.

She sighed before her expression changed to one of sympathy as she spoke, “sometimes when we experience something really awful and prolonged in childhood that our minds can’t quite process, it’ll cause a fracture of sorts. In order to cope with the trauma, your brain will try to help by creating personalities to protect you from pain, danger, or even overwhelming feelings.”

“What does that mean?” I whispered.

“It means that your brain may have created people in your mind made to protect you from certain situations or memories.” Briana stated calmly.

“So, what…” I laughed humorously, “I’m crazy? I have just,.. voices in my head?”

I stared at her, speechless and wide eyed. I felt like I could physically feel a fracture in my mind as my thoughts talked.

What does she know?

I don’t like how she’s picking us apart like this. She knows nothing about what Sam went through.

She said we help Sam! We do, do that!

Guys, please. This woman is here to help.

“You’re not crazy, Sam. Everyone’s mind is different and everyone handles things differently. And I think seeing a professional who specializes in this is going to help you work better with the other personalities or alters.” Briana said.

Bullshit. A doctor is just going to try to fix him. He needs us!

We don’t know what a doctor is going to do. It won’t hurt to try.

No, Adam. I know you think you’re so smart but stop being so fucking optimistic all the goddamn time! What if they convince him he’s crazy and then give him meds and we can’t reach him anymore!

Shut up.

I won’t let that happen. We’ll figure it out if it comes to that but it’s good to hear out all our options-

Guys he’s getting overwhelmed.

Shut up

I put my hands on my ears trying to make everything stop for just one second. It needs to be quiet. I can’t think.

Briana seems to sense me starting to get overwhelmed because she moved the cat off of her and got closer to me with a serious look on her face.

“Hey, Blue it’s okay. We don’t even know for sure yet. It’s just a guess.” West spoke up from beside me making me glance over at him for a second. He was keeping his distance and giving me space but Briana kept slowly moving toward me as if I were a scared animal.

Well I know one thing. I’m here to protect, Sam. And this bitch is making him uncomfortable.

“Shut up!”

I flinched when Blue suddenly yelled. He sprang up and off the couch so quickly it spooked Bri and made her fall backwards.

Without turning his back to us, Blue backed away into a corner and stared at Bri like she was a loaded gun. He took a defensive stance as his breaths were coming out harsh in what seemed more like adrenaline than panic.

“Blue-“ I tried but Briana cut me off by holding out a hand.

She slowly stood up which made Blue hiss with his tiny canines. The blue in his eyes expanded as his pupils turned into tiny slits. Scales started to pop up around in his face and I got the sense that this was some kind instinctual siren defense mechanism.

“Easy, hon. I’m not here to hurt you. What’s your name?”

That’s when it dawned on me. Right, of course. This might not even be Blue right now. I took in the way Blue’s body seemed to carry itself in the moment. His fists up by his face, the way he huffed and looked at Briana through his brows like a raging bull. This wasn’t Blue.

This was whoever shoved that guy on the street.

I watched as his nostrils flared at the question before he shook his head with a slight twitch.

His aggression didn’t seem to be aimed toward me though so I decided to try to ease the situation.

“She won’t hurt you,” I said and immediately his eyes snapped over to me before they went back to Briana. “But… if you’d like to stop for the day and have her leave we can do that.”

He looked like he was considering my words as he let his arms fall to his side. He still looked like he was on guard and he wouldn’t take his eyes off Bri but it was progress.

Things were silent for a moment before he suddenly spoke up, only saying one word in a deeper octave than Blue usually spoke in.

“Zack.”

I watch as confusion takes over this woman’s face making me scoff.

With sarcasm laced in my voice I speak up, “you asked what my name was, didn’t you? It’s Zack. So now what? You gonna try to fix us?” I balled my fists tighter until I felt my nails dig into my skin.

I expected her to drop her nice act and start bragging about how she was right or dragging me to the nearest psych ward. Instead she just looks sad for me and it throws me off a bit.

“You don’t need to be fixed, Zack. I just want to help you. We both do.” She motions to West. “If Sam better understood who you are and what you do for him it might help him cope better and make your job easier. You protect Sam, right?”

I huff and nod, “yeah, and what?”

“Wouldn’t it be better if Sam knew he had you to rely on? If he could count on you?”

This bitch is really starting to annoy me, “he can count on me! Shut up! You’re a liar,” I take a step forward and jab my finger in the air at her, “you’re just trying to get me to trust you and then you’re going to take me away from him! I won’t let you do that!”

That’s enough.