"Um... Lunëne? Are you...?" I practically whispered in a hushed tone, the words escaping while my trail of thought faltered. After a second of no response, I lifted my hand to cover my mouth in anxious embarrassment. I started to swing into my room and close the curtain to distance myself from my awkward intrusion when I heard their voice.

                "Hey Soelli. Yeah, I'm okay, thanks for asking." They replied softly. I stopped myself and turned back towards their curtain.

                "Ah ok, good. I just noticed you weren't at the fun little mixer which I thought was... you know? Just not like you I guess." I ventured, trying to sound cheery. I thought I heard something like a quiet snort.

                "Yeah, I'm just not really presentable right now. I couldn't be around everyone looking like a mess." They answered.

                "Not presentable?" I shook my head while looking into the distance with an incredulous grin, and I paused for a moment. "You? Impossible." This time I could swear I heard a chuckle.

                "Oh my goodness, you're so sweet. I'll be at the next one, I swear." They joked, sounding more like the Lunëne I knew.

                "I'll hold you to that!" I replied, walking into my room. I looked around and my eyes passed over everything in disinterest. I stood in the middle of my room for a moment, and then looked towards the door. My feet felt planted. I took a deep breath, and then breathed another, and I felt my expression soften as my eyes closed. Before I lost the courage, I walked back out to the hallway.

                "Hey, Lunëne, I just... well, not to be weird but if you're ever not okay, let me know. I mean you basically saved my life last time week, so really I owe you one." I joked lightly, furiously holding back a cringe at my own words. "So, I'm here for you." I made a silent prayer that I had ended that in a graceful way that sounded sincere and thoughtful, while not too pushy or lame.

                I realized a moment later that I was still standing in the same spot silently overthinking, and made a move to exit into my room when I saw their curtain open. I paused again, but didn't see them emerge. I leaned to the side to look into their room, and saw them walking back to their bed. I took a few steps into their doorway.

                "Thanks." They voiced while slumping onto the edge of the bed. They turned to me and smiled.

                Shit, I thought. They had definitely been crying. I smiled back, trying to hide my unease and worry.

                "Sorry, I figured it was rude to make you talk to my curtain." They continued with a grin. After a second, it began to fade and left only a shadow of a grin. "You can come in."

                "Oh, yeah! Thanks." I took a few steps in and leaned my back against the wall opposite them, giving them a muted smile. I looked away. I opened my mouth to start with a joke, but stopped myself. I looked at them again, while they looked at the floor. "Whatever it is, I'm here for you." They mustered a half a grin and looked up at me. I continued, "Um, was it something to do with the messages? My parent's letter had me sobbing." I ended lightheartedly. They looked away, mouth open to speak, and then paused before looking back at me.

                "Yeah. The reason I went on this mission is because my brother was getting better," They started, shifting between looking at me and staring past the wall to a million miles away. "Like he was sick for a long time, but he was basically back to his old self. He was out of the hospital for a few months, and I saw my brother again for the first time in a long time. And then I got the letter saying I had been voted for, and he ended up talking me into going. I wasn't gonna go, but he wouldn't stop talking about how excited he was for me, and this was incredible, he was so proud..." They explained. They suddenly pushed themselves back further onto their bed and pivoted while dropped onto their back, staring at the ceiling. "I guess he got sick again. Bad this time, my parents said he made it almost two years."

                They practically pushed the words out and stifled a sob. My heart sank lower and lower, and I could feel my eyes well up. I walked over slowly and sat at the foot of their bed, my fears of being pushy now long forgotten. Looking over, I could just make out the tears streaming from their face.  I glanced down to the floor like they had just a minute ago.

                "Losing him... and finding out in a letter, and now? That happened like three years ago. I mean, they've had a funeral by now. They've mourned and... and..." They trailed off. I looked over and saw them close their eyes tightly, face scrunched in pain. "And I left them. Both of their kids are gone..."

                "Lunëne, don't do that to yourself." I interjected. I struggled for a second to put together the right words, "You... they didn't lose you. You didn't abandon them; they were excited for you to go on this journey. They didn't lose you. My last day back home, I definitely thought about everyone I loved and wondered if I'd see them again. But we're not just leaving. We're building a... an entirely new home on a new planet so that someday they can make the same trip. I mean, hopefully it will be faster for them, but I have a feeling that I'm going to see my parents again. And you will too. I'm sure they're planning on it, and in the meantime, you can send them a letter back. I know they'll be overjoyed."

                I paused again and glanced at Lunëne, who was still staring at the ceiling. Their face had the same pained expression but the tears has slowed. "And I'm so sorry to hear about your brother, I know there's nothing I can say to make that not hurt. I can't even imagine..." I trailed off. They propped themselves up by their elbows and looked at me.

                "No, you've helped, thank you. It's just a lot right now... it's gonna be a lot for a while. I'm just going to sit and reminisce and cry for the rest of the day." They quipped, trying to sound lighthearted. "You don't have to stay for all that."

                "I don't mind staying, I mean if you're ok with it. It's always better to reminisce with a friend, right?" I offered. They sat up without a word, turned to face the same wall that I was, and leaned their back against the wall.

                "I don't mind. Hey, did you say before that you were bawling too?" They probed, eyebrows raised. I met their gaze and smiled, leaning back against the wall with them.

                "Ok, well yes. But that was different. I... I was crying because I felt stupid. I didn't send my parents a letter last time, I honestly don't know how it completely slipped my mind. And I woke up today and realized how awful that was and ran to our Lead to see if my parents sent me a letter. They did obviously, and it was incredibly sweet. So yeah, I bawled. I didn't get bad news; I just realized that I was an idiot to my parents." I replied, just a bit flustered. They laughed.

                "You're only an idiot once in a while." They rested their head onto my shoulder, "Your parents sound like my parents, just endlessly gracious and thoughtful..." They continued talking about their family, and I talked about mine. And we sat there for hours and hours talking about nothing and everything. Lunëne and I made it to dinner that night, greeted by raised eyebrows and concerned questions from our usual table. We gave short responses and walked excitedly over to different lines. For me, a gooey mac and cheese, garlic bread that was a bit too firm on the outsides and just a touch too soft towards the inside, and green beans that were seasoned with a smidge of salt. Lunëne went for a burrito-based dinner. I sat down just a few moments after them.
                "So..." Valentin started, glancing between the two of us with eyebrows raised in a knowing look, despite not knowing anything.
                "You guys missed breakfast! Though it wasn't much to miss. The food I mean, the conversation was exquisite." Garland interrupted.
                "Despite all agreeing to meet here today. Or did you forget that conversation we had... yesterday? Actually, I'm not going to pile on with these buffoons. We are happy you two are here." Elissa chimed in jokingly, "And the reason you both missed two entire meals is none of our business. Unless you want to tell us."
                "They took bets on why." Silas retorted disapprovingly.
                "Silas!" Elissa exclaimed, "... but yeah, I bet that Soelli hit his head again."
                "Come on Silas, you weren't supposed to tell them." Valentin added. He looked at me and put his hand up the side of his mouth as if he was telling a secret, "I think you can guess what I bet on." He winked. I chuckled and rolled my eyes dramatically.
                "It was my fault." Lunëne replied with a subtly strained smile and a pensive look. "I got bad news about my brother from back home and Soelli was nice enough to comfort me." I glanced at Valentin anxiously, but he was graciously silent while looking sincerely at Lunëne. Everyone was silent for a moment.
                "I got bad news too actually." Silas broke the silence, "My aunt actually... she passed away, four years ago now. I wasn't really close but it's weird. I did know her. It's just strange thinking about never seeing her again even though I knew that was a possibility when I left."
                "My childhood pet died... but my best friend is pregnant! They've been married for a long time and trying for years, so..." Garland chimed in.
                "My best friend started dating again! He's not pregnant, but just dating is actually kind of a bit deal for him." I joined in.
                "My life is boring compared to all of you. I just got letters telling me how much everyone missed me and loves me, blah blah blah..." Valentin joked, and I could see Lunëne smile with genuine happiness. After all that time, it was like nothing had changed since we had last sat at the table together. We jumped right back into the same jokes, this time interwoven with stories of friends and family back home. We were the last few people to leave the cafe that night.
                After saying our goodbyes, Lunëne and I strolled back to our rooms saying barely a word. From down the hall I saw someone standing outside my room, leaning against the wall. Lunëne gave me an inquisitive look, and I gave a shrug and puzzled look back. Getting closer, I realized it was Bryn. He turned to look at us and then gave a friendly wave, and I waved back while my eyes darted around in search of a clock. Not that I needed one.
                "Hey, I'll see you tomorrow Lunëne!" I proclaimed as we arrived at our rooms. Lunëne looked at me with a smirk, picking up on my awkwardness.
                "Yeah, see you tomorrow Soelli." They disappeared into their room.
                "Tsk tsk, I told you I'd come and find you." Bryn chastised playfully.
                "I am so sorry, I just finished eating and we were all talking about everything, just kinda catching up, and I must have lost the time." I apologized and he laughed.
                "No, don't even worry about it. Just means we're going to working out twice as hard tonight." He put his arm around my shoulder and we started back down the hallway the same way I had just come from. "You owe me legs, tomorrow we can work on arms. I'm thinking cardio the next day, followed by a bit of a rest day of deep stretches, then core, and then finish the week a finale of a little bit of everything."
                "That's a day short I think." I pondered out loud.
                "Yes, it is! The last day we just hang out in the gym and eat pizza or whatever. It's like a reward." He stared off into the nothing dreamily for a second. "That's my favorite day. Anyways, let's get started with a bit of a warm up." We had arrived all too quickly at the doors to the gym. The following hour was simultaneously more intense and yet also more rewarding than any workout I could remember.
                Each day after that, I kept that same routine. Sometimes spending hours with a book, sometimes hours with Lunëne, always breakfast, lunch, and dinner at the usual table, and ending the day with an exhausting exercise. Going to the library a few times to refresh my literature, stopping by the Solarium room to dive into the new book. I had been to every stand at the café by the end of the week, and had started to lean towards the pizza option. They had the most consistent offerings there. That comforting routine proved to be moderately effective at quelling any lingering worries I had about the trip, or new anxieties that something horrible could be happening back home that I wouldn't even know about.