We talked through lunch, and almost until the memorial. We didn't say it out loud, only with glances, but we seemed to all agree on giving Silas our company up until the memorial or for as long as he would allow it. As the clock creeped closed to 3, the pauses became more prolonged. The conversation turned to small quips and lighthearted jokes. There were occasional glanced at the clock until it was just half an hour away.

                "Ok, well..." Valentin stood up cautiously. "The memorial starts soon; we should probably get down there." Silas looked up at him with eyes widened and opened his mouth to speak before pausing.

                "I don't want to go." Silas replied hesitantly. Valentin was taken aback but immediately tried to hide it.

                "You don't want...? Well, that's fine." Valentin started, "...Why not?"

                "I... knew them." Silas paused, and closed his eyes. He breathed in quickly and out sharply. "I knew them but I only knew them for a few weeks. I don't know them well enough so I would feel so weird. Just uncomfortable, like I was imposing on such a personal part of their lives that I wasn't privy to yet. And I can't..." He opened his eyes, "I don't want to think of them like that. They're still here in my mind. I haven't... like I'm not ready. I don't think I could face that. It would be too much, and I don't want to right now. I don't think I can."

                "I think you should go. I think this is important." Valentin stated firmly. Silas closed his eyes again.

                "No." He replied softly. He spoke with a quiet confidence that contrasted his slumped shoulders and his head falling towards his chest. There was a tense pause. I looked around and stood up.

                "I'm going to go; I think he might just need some time." I paused and glanced around before quietly creeping towards the curtain and sliding it open. I turned to close it, but paused as Lunëne and Elissa stood up and started to follow me out. I waited for another moment to see if the other two were staying. Valentin continued to stare defiantly at Silas' closed eyes for another moment before turning towards me and walking out with his head shaking. Garland stood last, walked over to Silas to give him a half hug and talk quietly to him for a moment before following the rest of us out. I closed the curtain behind us all.

following the rest of us out. I closed the curtain behind us all.

                "He's making a mistake. I know why, but I’ve made the same mistake." Valentin grumbled. "He's gonna regret it."

                We attended the memorial in Silas' place. He never showed up. There were more people there than I had expected, filling the cafe room comfortably. I spent some time near the table that was set up for Bryn. Photos were on the table, and there was a paper to write condolences and kind words to Bryn's friends and family. I wrote my own few lines. I was writing to someone I had never known and would almost certainly never meet, talking about a person we both knew and cared for, yet having only known him for a short time.

                We all dispersed back to our own rooms afterwards, taking much needed time to rest. The emotional drain was taking a physical toll. We all met for dinner later that night, except for Silas. We barely talked, breezing through the bland food and small talk in no time at all. And out of nowhere, it was night.

                I laid in my bed and stared at the ceiling. This had been the worst beginning-of-the-week day by far, and it was the last one. I kept reminding myself, this was the last week on this ship before we were on solid ground. There would be new challenges, but there would be no more cryo-sleeps. I was starting to resent the surprises, not to mention the emotional and physical toll the cryonics alone was taking on me. I could hardly think back to the first and second time and remember those moments as being exciting— or even bearable. My eyes slowly closed while I continued my train of thought as I drifted into sleep.

###

                I drifted out of my dream as the sounds of the real world pulled me closer, growing louder. Nearly conscious yet still hazy, I realized the sounds were passengers yelling, calling out. I snapped out of my sleep in an instant as the cold surge of adrenaline surged through my body and I shot up in my bed. I looked over at the screen on my wall to check the time, but was greeted by darkness. Not only from the screen, from my room. From the hall. I was surrounded by absolute darkness.

                My eyes were snapping around, my hands twitching, ready for something. My thoughts were jumping from possibility to possibility while I tried to reassure myself it was nothing.

                Lights from the hall suddenly flickered on, but not the usual ones. Small orange lights in the middle of the ceiling, spaced far apart and sparse. That light was enough to see and calm my senses. My heart slowed and it became easier to reassure myself that I was not in mortal danger. Lights weren't really a guarantee of anything, but I struggled to push that thought down into the depths of my soul.

                I leaned over the side of my bed, slid open my drawer to grab a change of clothes, and slipped into something more presentable as I laid on my mattress. I didn’t know what I would be facing, but I didn’t want to face it in my pajamas.

                The murmurs and chatter throughout the halls meant that it could be any time of day or night, so we wouldn’t be going right back to sleep. Our curiosity would inevitably bring us all out of our safe little rooms into the hall to ineffectively ask each other what was happening, despite knowing our attempts to learn what was happening were in vain.

                I slid out of bed and cautiously walked to my curtain. I slid open my curtain enough to poke my head out and search for a hint. I could dimly make out a few others entering the hallway, and I started to do the same while I mentally prepared myself.

                As I took the first step out of my room, I was blinded by a bright white light. I instinctively tucked my head down and put my hand up in front of my eyes while I took a step back, shrinking back into the doorway. I heard scattered exclamations, and I forced an eye open to adjust to the lights. My vision took a few seconds and frantic blinking to fully clear.

                I looked up and down the hall. The daytime lights were now on full brightness and the hall was empty. Surely it wasn't this bright during the day? But they were the same lights I had seen every day, the lights that had been my indication of when to wake up and go back to sleep since day one. Right on cue, the loudspeaker rang out with its distinctive chime.

                "Hey, sorry everyone," Milton croaked out, with a voice that had also been asleep a minute ago, "The report here says there’s just a small technical issue. We lost power for a minute there... well it was 31 seconds, but we have the backup. That means the small orange emergency lights. And now were back to full power and the big lights. Shouldn't happen again, sorry again for waking most of you up."

                I shuffled back into my room and sloppily shut my curtain, hand still partially over my eyes. My eyes were struggling to adjust again, to the near darkness this time, but it was only a few moments before I could faintly see again.

                I sat down on my bed and fell onto my back. I stared at the ceiling for a minute. My heart was also laggardly returning to normal, but I could feel a headache starting to press up against my skull.

###