From inside his room, he could hear the extra security guards patrolling the area, their metal clanking as they walked. Not long after news of the Alistair children spread, the amount of guards present increased tenfold. Unfortunately, this hindered Zhen Xue’s plan to sneak out with Ming Yi and learn more about the rebellion.

He was rather curious when Calisaya would make her move, entering the spotlight to dismantle the situation, much like every main character does. He wanted to see her in action! So, he was in a terrible mood because he couldn’t leave his room the whole day. It was rather maddening to be stuck in a box, but he was used to this lifestyle after fifteen years.

The Alistair family was like a carefully woven spider web with intricate threads crafted for perfection. Not an item misplaced, including him. He’d be present when called and jump when someone expected that of him. It was a miracle he kept his sanity intact from being constantly pulled in different directions. And now that he’s considered a villain by the entire kingdom, it almost made him want to laugh, like his effort to not surrender to the madness didn’t matter. 

So, why? 

Why did he bother to always walk a straight line? 

“Because you care too much,” a voice in his mind whispered. It was not mocking him, rather just informing him of a fact. 

Yeah, Zhen Xue decided, releasing a heavy sigh. Perhaps that was the reason he couldn’t let go. He looked at the blackboard before him, moonlight illuminating the blueprints and notes he’s collected over the years. 

On the left side, there were blueprints for modern day tools he thought would be useful. And on the right side? Character maps with names and places across Lumaria, linking to plot points in his book with the focus on Calisaya.

Without new knowledge to jot down about her, except for her odd behavior the other night, his mind returned to his most pressing and personal concern: Who was the silver-haired man? With his family’s murderer still on the loose, he couldn’t help wanting to pull out all his hair in frustration. 

Fifteen years of finding absolutely nothing.

No matter how many times he went over what he knew, nothing led him on a straight path. It was like staring at empty pages, notes he would return to whenever his hope dwindled. He’d been to shamans, cultists, and priests. Collected rumors from locals regarding haunted locations, even followed the smallest of leads, and then visited those places when he could, so where the hell was he? 

Every bone in his body felt heavy and restless from a wasted day doing nothing. He flopped backwards onto his bed to clear his mind. The only way he’ll find new leads would be from expanding his search beyond Cassanova, but he couldn’t leave after what happened yesterday. If he left now, his brother Xu Yang would end up shouldering the country alone, along with the mess Zhen Xue made. It wasn’t fair to his brother.

“I can always leave the day after tomorrow,” he said to himself. He closed his eyes, preparing to fall asleep. “Just one more day to make sure they’ll be okay.”

When the silence made his anxiety worse, he turned onto his side, wrapping himself with the blanket to defend against the cold. 

Ever since the blind woman messed with the magic weather system, the palace had been growing colder by the hour. His father didn’t summon the magicians for a repair yet, not with a rebellion brewing against the royals. Everyone would be busy for a long time. Good, he thought. Maybe he could slip away unnoticed, but as that thought entered his mind, he knew fleeing wasn’t an option for him.

“They aren’t even your actual family,” the voice within his mind pointed out. “Your actual family is waiting for you to avenge them. Are you really going to lie to yourself and claim to care when you were prepared to die and leave them behind yesterday?”

There was a difference. There was a vast difference. They were safe. That’s why he was okay with leaving them behind, but if he left now, Zhen Xue couldn’t be certain. It scared him, the idea of losing his siblings like his past life. Nothing could resolve that deeply ingrained fear, which often controlled his decisions. Regardless, he wouldn’t change knowing them. They made his life significantly better.

Without them around, he would’ve grown numb, focusing only on revenge. He clutched a hand to his chest as though to protect that dimly lit candle he could never seem to lose. He always thought the next tragedy would break him, but it somehow never completely does. That candle kept him alive. Whoever was watching over him, Zhen Xue sent them a prayer of gratitude, feeling safe enough to sleep. 

As though in response, the candle seemed to burn brighter, trying to protect him, but soon enough, a familiar darkness pulled him under. His body sank weightlessly, air rushing through his ears until he could see again.

The smell of smoke sharpened his senses. A scene of burning houses displayed before him, smoke curling into the sky. He realized how it was a long time since he had this dream. Why did he always forget after waking up? 

He sighed slightly in relief that, at the very least, this fire and scene wasn’t the same that claimed his family. He’d take this dream over the other one any day. 

The crackling flames made a troublesome feeling gnaw at him. Not knowing how much time he had before the dream would end, he decided to look around for a change.

His shoes clacked against the cobblestone as he walked through the streets. Homes burned into ash and ruin around him. Just when he thought he should give up and wait for the dream to end, a flash of long, silver hair caught his attention. 

There, down the street, a figure disappeared around the corner before he could get a better look. That was enough to send him bursting into a run after him.

He ran with all his might, ignoring how his lunges ached from the smoke. Nothing mattered to him more than finding that person. His jaw clenched, watching the figure get further away with every corner they turned, just like when Zhen Xue chased him through the streets of the modern world. 

When he truly couldn’t breathe anymore, Zhen Xue stopped short, gasping out, “Why do you keep following me around?!” Anger flared in his chest when the figure froze in place, refusing to respond. “Why aren’t you answering me?!” Zhen Xue shouted again. “I’m tired of playing your games! I want to know why you killed my family?!”

The figure was quiet.

At his silence, Zhen Xue couldn’t help looking at him standing among the burning homes, thinking he looked regretful. With a bite in his words, he asked, “Is the state of this village your fault, too?”

The figure laughed, cold and merciless, but at least it was some kind of reaction. “Are you desperate, Zhen Xue?” he asked mockingly. The figure turned around, but disappointingly, his face remained hidden in the shadows. “I can sense your hesitation. You want to know who I am, but you’re afraid, aren’t you? What if I’m someone you know? Would you still be able to kill me then? You are too easy to read.”

This bastard… Zhen Xue’s chest tightened with unease. Those thoughts had occurred to him before, but now he was even more certain that his family’s death was not an accident. 

His heart pounded quickly, trying to absorb what he learned, but the more he thought, his vision eventually became red. As his heart pounded, he looked among the trash for anything he could strike him with. Make him bleed, a dark voice whispered into his mind. Make him bleed for Zhi... For Tianshi. However, as that thought crossed his mind, a dizziness overwhelmed him.

He sank to his knees, pain shooting through his legs, but nothing hurt like nothing his roaring frustration at losing again. He cried out in desperation, trying to resist the darkness that sought to drag him back into slumber.

The figure huffed with amusement at his resistance. Almost gracefully, he took a seat, crossing his legs as though getting comfortable to watch him. 

Even while squinting, Zhen Xue couldn’t make out his face. On top of that, he couldn’t move, which made his blood boil even hotter. 

“Don’t look disappointed,” the man chided softly. “I can’t have you recklessly getting yourself killed. Matter of fact, I look forward to fighting with you someday, but you’re not ready yet. Nor are you ready to learn the truth behind this place when your mind scatters every time you wake up. You will break. It will break you. So, I want you to grow stronger. Experience life to the fullest. Create bonds that will help you even in your darkest hours. And when you’ve grown strong enough, willing to sacrifice everything in the name of revenge, I’ll allow you to fight me.”

“No,” Zhen Xue gritted out, but his vision blurred, unable to resist the pull of darkness dragging under. And soon enough, the memory of their encounter and the village scattered into pieces, forcing him to forget once again.