He could hear the royal guards patrolling the area, their metal boots clanking as they passed his room.
The Alistair family was like a carefully woven spider web crafted for perfection. Not an item misplaced, including himself. He’d be present when called and jump when someone expected that of him.
It was a miracle he kept his sanity intact from being constantly pulled in different directions.
“If you want to be loved, you must be perfect,” his nanny would whisper.
Ah, his nanny... His father executed her for treason.
He had watched the rope go taunt, her eyes wide never to move again, struck frozen in time, unlike when they’d proudly turn to him as he studied.
And now, here he was in a similar position, considered a real villain by the entire kingdom. It made him want to laugh in hysteria, like his effort to not surrender to the madness didn’t matter.
He cared too much to let this world burn.
And for that reason, he looked over the blackboard before him, searching for answers.
Moonlight illuminated the notes he’d written about this world over the years. Character maps with names and places across Lumaria, linking to plot points focused on Calisaya.
She was the shining star, destined for heroism, or at least that’s what he thought until yesterday when she would’ve killed him to keep the peace.
What interested him now was the antagonist—Caelestis, the oldest god to ever live, and the deity of the sky. If the novel had truly derailed from the original plot, then Caelestis would also act differently.
But he couldn’t risk everything on a gamble.
The plan moving forward had to be convincing Calisaya to remain morally good. Her status as the main character overshadowed any power that existed in this world.
“They aren’t even your actual family,” his inner voice pointed out. “Why are you trying so hard? Are you really going to claim you care when you were prepared leave them behind yesterday?”
There was a difference. There was a vast difference. He thought they were safe. That’s why he was okay with leaving them behind, but if he left now, Zhen Xue couldn’t be certain.
It scared him, the idea of losing his siblings like his past. Nothing could resolve that deeply ingrained fear.
Without them around, he would’ve grown numb, focusing only on revenge.
He clutched a hand to his chest as though to protect that dimly lit candle he could never seem to lose.
He always thought the next tragedy would break him, but it somehow never did. That candle kept him alive. Whoever was watching over him, Zhen Xue sent them a prayer of gratitude, feeling safe enough to sleep.
As though in response, the candle seemed to burn brighter, trying to protect him, but soon enough, the candle flickered out.
His body fell weightlessly, air rushing through his ears until he could see again.
He was laying on the cobblestone street under a dark sky. The smell of smoke consumed his senses, and above him stood a familiar figure, who’s face was cast in shadow.
“Are you desperate, Zhen Xue?” the silver haired ghost asked thoughtfully.
His chest tightened, shaking from his own helplessness. He couldn’t move, limbs held in place by some unseen force.
“You want to know who I am, but you’re afraid,” he continued, tilting his head. “What if I’m someone you know? Would you still be able to kill me then? You are too easy to read.”
Those thoughts had occurred to him before, and hearing them voiced aloud brought those old feelings of grief bubbling to the surface.
Make him bleed, a dark voice whispered into his mind. Make him bleed for Zhi... For Tianshi. He cried out in desperation, trying to resist whatever held him down, but failed.
“Don’t look disappointed,” the man chided softly. “I can’t have you acting reckless. We’ll fight someday, but not now. You’re not ready to learn the truth behind this village.” He moved aside, turning to the flames that engulfed the landscape. “It will break you, so I want you to grow stronger.”
“No,” Zhen Xue gritted out. He waited so long for this moment. Now was his chance. His vision blurred, unable to resist the pull of darkness dragging him under.
“Experience life to the fullest,” the man continued. “Create bonds that will help you even in your darkest hours. And when you’ve grown strong enough, willing to sacrifice everything, I’ll allow you to fight me.”
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