Chapter 6 - First Kiss

For the second time in a row, Jihoo and Eric watched the sunrise over the city as they exited the noraebang. Jihoo had shamelessly ditched his friend to spend more time with him. The streets of Hongdae were quiet now, the last partygoers stumbling home. Eric walked beside Jihoo, their hands brushing, the cold November air sharp against their flushed cheeks. Somewhere between the karaoke booth and the dorm entrance, Jihoo’s fingers had slipped between Eric’s, and neither of them had let go.

Eric’s ears still rang from the loud music as he let his mind wander. He kept wondering whether or not to kiss Jihoo goodbye once they reached the dorm. Beside him, Jihoo hummed a melody from one of the songs they’d sung earlier, his breath visible in the chill.

“I guess you’re walking me home?” Jihoo teased, nudging Eric’s elbow with his own.

“Hum." Eric nodded.

“Your hands are cold." Jihoo murmured, rubbing his thumb over Eric’s knuckles.

“It’s November.”

Jihoo laughed, breath clouding in the air, and slipped their joined hands into his coat pocket. They fell into step together, the silence between them heavier now that they were alone. Eric’s pulse hadn’t settled since Jihoo had almost kissed him earlier.

They reached the university gates too soon. The dorm loomed ahead, its windows dark except for a few scattered lights. They stopped under a lamppost, silence stretching between them, neither sure how to say goodbye.

Eric shifted awkwardly. “So…”

A gust of wind cut through his coat, and he shivered. Jihoo noticed immediately. Without a word, he unzipped his padded jacket and opened it wide, smiling. “Come here.”

Eric hesitated for a second, then stepped into Jihoo’s arms, letting the jacket envelop them both. Jihoo’s warmth seeped into him, along with the scent of fabric softener and the faint sweetness of soju. He tilted his head up, and Jihoo was already looking down at him, eyes soft.

Gathering all his courage, Eric finally leaned in and kissed him.

It was soft at first, just a press of warmth. Testing. Waiting. They broke apart after a few seconds, both smiling nervously, still clinging to each other inside the jacket.

“That was…” Eric started.

“A nice surprise." Jihoo finished, cheeks pink. “I’ve wanted to do that for a while already." added Jihoo.

Then he kissed him again, and this time there was no hesitation. There was a trembling urgency to it as if he had been holding back all night. His mouth slanted over Eric’s, insistent, hungry, as if making up for the brevity of the first. Eric gasped, and Jihoo took advantage, deepening the kiss, his tongue sliding against Eric’s in a way that sent heat straight to his stomach.

When Eric didn’t pull away, Jihoo sighed into his mouth, hands gripping Eric’s waist to drag him closer. Eric’s brain short-circuited. He kissed back desperately, as if he could pour every unsaid word into it. Eric’s hands slid up Jihoo’s back, feeling the strong line of his spine through the fabric. Jihoo’s lips parted, and Eric brushed his tongue against his, tasting the sweetness he’d been craving since the first time Jihoo smiled at him.

They stumbled against the wall, Jihoo’s leg between Eric’s, their bodies trying to melt together. Eric’s fingers tangled in Jihoo’s hair, gripping like he might vanish. More. Closer. Somewhere in the distance, a car honked. They broke apart, breathing hard. Jihoo’s pupils were blown wide, his lips swollen. Eric’s pulse roared in his ears.

Jihoo exhaled, voice breathy. “Wait.”

Eric nodded, dazed. “Yeah.”

Neither of them moved. Jihoo pressed their foreheads together, breathing hard.

“I should go home." Eric said, not moving an inch.

Jihoo’s hand was still on Eric’s hips, like he didn’t want to let go either.

Eric stepped back, adjusting Jihoo’s jacket around him.

“I need a taxi." he murmured, reaching for his phone.

The ride arrived too quickly. They hugged goodbye, Jihoo’s cheek brushing against Eric’s. “Text me when you’re home." he whispered.

Eric nodded. “You too.”

The streets of Seoul blurred past the window, but Eric barely noticed. He touched his lips, still tingling. A grin spread across his face, unstoppable.

His phone buzzed.

Jihoo:
Back in my dorm. I had a great time tonight. Have a good sleep, hyung!

When Eric reached his Airbnb, he replied as he stripped off his coat.

Eric:
I’m home. Will hop in the shower and go to sleep. Good night.

Eric stepped into the shower and let the water run hot over his skin, hoping it would ground him. His body was burning from excitement, his lips, his fingertips, every part Jihoo had touched. Steam curled around him, fogging up the mirror. Absent-mindedly, he drew a J and an H into the condensation before wiping it away like it burned. 

He leaned against the cold tile, chest rising and falling too quickly. He ran a hand through his wet hair, exhaling sharply and caught his reflection, flushed cheeks, a dazed smile, and shook his head. “You’re ridiculous." he muttered to himself. But the smile wouldn’t go. His mind replayed Jihoo’s kiss on a loop: the softness, then the sudden hunger. The warmth of Jihoo’s jacket. How natural it had felt to reach for him, to be held. And how much he wanted to do it again. 

Lying in bed, damp hair against the pillow, Eric stared at the ceiling. He hadn’t felt this way in years. Excited. Nervous. Terrified. Like he might fall in love if he wasn’t careful.

Early in the afternoon Eric woke up to the sound of his phone buzzing. Minwoo again. He groaned and rolled over, face buried in the pillow.The memories from the night before came rushing in, Jihoo’s hand in his, the warmth of his jacket, the kiss that left him breathless. He lay there for a moment, staring at the ceiling.

He rubbed his face with both hands, trying to silence the fluttering in his chest. It was absurd. He was flying back to Hong Kong in a few hours. It had just been a kiss. Two kisses. And maybe a little more. But it felt like everything. 

His phone buzzed again. Squinting at the screen, he skipped the formalities. Thank god he was going back to Hong Kong today, another night like this one would be the death of him.

“What do you want, Minwoo?” he croaked.

“Hi, dear friend. Happy to talk to you too. Fancy a last meal before you flee the country?” Minwoo’s voice was annoyingly cheerful. “My treat. Get up.”

An hour later, they sat in a small restaurant, eating samgye-tang, steam rising between them. Minwoo smirked over his spoon.

“So. Where’s your boyfriend?”

Eric choked on his kimchi. “He’s not…”

“Please. You’ve been drinking for two days straight, and somehow you’re glowing and smiling at your phone the whole time.”

Eric swirled his broth, hesitating. “It’s… complicated.”

“Because of the age thing?”

“Partly.” Eric sighed, his eyes still focused on his meal avoiding Minwoo’s. “I keep thinking… that I don’t wanna be in a situationship and I’m not sure a relationship is possible.”

Minwoo stayed quiet, waiting.

“I’m not twenty anymore. Hell, I’m almost forty.” Eric added with a weak laugh. “He’s got a whole life ahead of him, school, career, friends who won’t need subtitles. I feel like a tourist in his world. What if I’m just something fun before he gets serious?”

Minwoo leaned back, exhaling slowly. “You’re allowed to be scared. But don’t mistake fear for wisdom.”

Eric raised an eyebrow. “Did you just quote a fortune cookie to me?” deflecting the seriousness of the comment.

“Shut up and take the wisdom.” Minwoo grinned. “Look, I’ve known you a long time. I’ve seen you pass through jobs, people, cities. But this, whatever this thing is with Jihoo, maybe it’s time for you to stay still for once and enjoy the moment.”

Eric blinked, surprised by the insight.

“Don’t overthink it. Just don’t ghost him, or I’ll disown you.”

Eric’s phone vibrated again. A message from Jihoo.

Jihoo:
Want company to the airport?

Eric started to type, No, it’s too far for you, then deleted it. He wanted to see Jihoo again, to know if, sober, it still felt the same.

Eric:
Sure. It’ll make my ride to the airport less lonely.

Jihoo:
See you in a bit, hyung.

Eric hugged Minwoo goodbye and headed off. Jihoo joined him for the ride. The taxi ride was quiet but not awkward. Just... full. The kind of silence that didn’t need to be filled. Jihoo leaned lightly against Eric, their thighs brushing. At one point, Jihoo’s pinky hooked around Eric’s, a small, steady anchor in the noise of Eric’s thoughts.

Eric kept sneaking glances. Jihoo looked out the window, expression unreadable. Sunlight caught on his lashes. It struck Eric again just how young he was, and yet, somehow, more composed than Eric felt. Jihoo caught his gaze and Eric looked away quickly, pretending to check his phone. The silence felt like a held breath, Jihoo moved his leg against Eric’s like he sensed the nervousness. Eric liked this contact, it grounded him. He wanted to say something, anything, to lighten the mood, to name what had just happened between them. But the words stayed stuck in his throat.

At check-in, Jihoo lingered, adjusting Eric’s backpack strap unnecessarily.

“You have everything?”

“Yeah.”

“Passport?”

“Jihoo.”

He huffed. “Fine. Go.”

But neither of them moved. They didn’t want to say goodbye. After minutes of stalling, Eric finally turned toward security ready to go. Just before Eric entered the queue, Jihoo caught his wrist. The young man proceeded to drag him into the nearest restroom, shoving him a bit too strongly into a stall and pressing him against the door.

“Jihoo, what…”

Jihoo didn’t let him finish and kissed him, fierce and desperate, like something was slipping through his fingers. His hands crawled under Eric’s shirt, palms flat against his stomach and waist, seeking contact, reassurance. Eric gasped but didn’t resist. After a second of hesitation kissed back just as hungrily, one hand tangled in Jihoo’s hair, the other gripping his hip tightly.

They kissed like they were trying to undo time. Like maybe if they stayed there long enough, the flight would vanish, and they could pretend none of this was temporary.

When they broke apart, breath ragged, their foreheads pressed together, Jihoo whispered."I didn’t want to let you go without this memory.”

Eric breathed against his mouth. “You’re silly.”

“But you’re kissing me back." Jihoo said, smiling shakily.

They kissed again, slower this time, almost timid. Jihoo’s hands trembled slightly as he touched Eric’s chest.

“Tell me this means something." Jihoo whispered.

Eric cupped his face, forehead against his. “It means something.”

Jihoo’s mouth hovered just above his. “Then kiss me like you mean it.”

And Eric did. They kissed again, slower, trying to soak in as much of each other as they could, not knowing when they’d meet again.They lost track of time. Of space. Of everything but hands, lips, breath. Eric tasted salt and sweetness. Jihoo clutched him like he was afraid Eric would vanish the moment he let go.

Eventually, they parted, breathless and aching. They could not delay Eric’s departure anymore. They hugged tightly one more time and Eric went through the security gate looking at Jihoo one last time. They smiled at each other, Jihoo mouthing “See you soon hyung.”

While waiting to board, Eric’s phone lit up.

Jihoo:
Hyung, you’re just like soju.

Eric:
What, cheap and everywhere? Eric replied with a smirk.

Jihoo:
No. The first sip’s too sweet. But by the third… I’m drunk on things I swore I’d avoid.

Eric stared at the screen, thumb hesitating.

Eric:
You’re impossible…

Jihoo:
Still sipping though. Have a safe flight. Missing you already.

He typed and deleted his reply twice. Something sincere. Something honest.

Don’t wait for me was what he almost sent. But his fingers refused.

As the boarding call echoed overhead, Eric pressed the phone to his forehead. His body was headed back to Hong Kong.

But he already knew he’d come back really soon.