MARCH

Deep breaths, Aster, deep breaths.

No one else would find a colourfully decorated door with the words "Central Crew" on it imposing, but Aster felt the nerves creeping through his spine. He clutched his light blue guitar, holding it tightly like it was his safety blanket. The past few weeks of practice, no, everything that Aster had done for the past year would culminate in this audition. It was truly all or nothing now.

The door creaked open, and Aster jolted upright, wanting to give his best impression after the phone incident with Calix a few weeks ago. A girl in a hoodie popped out, holding onto a piece of paper.

"Aster Lux?"

Aster nodded, and the girl beckoned him to enter the room. 

Deep breaths, Aster, deep breaths.

Aster slowly shuffled in behind her, repeating his mantra in his head. What little composure he had went down the drain the moment he stepped into the room and saw the panel of judges:  Calix, Hazel, and a third girl, all sitting at a table at the far end of the room. He stood at the door, frozen in fear. Aster's body refused to move, with his feet firmly planted on the ground.

"It’s okay! No need to be nervous!"

Hazel's smile and soothing voice helped to ease Aster's nerves slightly, but his face was still fully flushed red. Calix, with his signature deadpan expression, just continued looking at Aster silently. It was impossible to read what he was thinking.

It’s tough enough to sing in public, but singing in front of your crush is something else!

Hazel gestured for Aster to close the door and step forward to the middle of the room.

"Please tell us the song you are singing, and why you chose to sing that song."

Aster angled himself to face the panel of judges. 

"I’m singing 'The Only Exception' by Paramore, and I chose this song because…"

Aster noticed the slightest eyebrow raise from Calix.

"It means a lot to me." He finished

"You may begin. Good luck!" Hazel chimed.

It's all led to this moment. You can do this, Aster.

Aster began tenderly strumming the guitar, and as he opened his mouth to sing the first words of the song, he started reminiscing about just what it meant to him.

*****

Aster was amongst the crowd at the alumni talk. Although just ten minutes ago he was contemplating skipping it, he was now mesmerised by the speaker. He had introduced himself as Calix Frost, studying music production at the Central University of Arts. He started out with a small performance, just him and an electric keyboard, singing the song that Aster would come to love. His voice put Aster into a trance- it was the sweetest sound he had ever heard, and that moment would solidify Aster's obsession.

He gave my life direction, whether he meant to or not. 

The following day, Aster was sitting at lunch with his friends.

"I’m going to try to get a scholarship for the Central University of Arts."

Aster's declaration left all his friends dumbfounded. His entire clique fell silent, which was a rather uncommon occurrence. After a couple of seconds, the silence was finally broken.

"That came outta nowhere. What are you even gonna apply for?"

I hadn't even thought about that. I've lost touch with drawing, my computer wouldn't be able to run any design software, and I haven't touched music since Mom… Oh, I've filmed several videos for school projects before.

Aster felt a sudden surge of confidence.

"You know. I've always had a passion for film."

Despite the confused looks from all his friends, Aster's trademark smile and self-assured demeanour helped to carry through the otherwise obvious lie.

And now, I’m here, trying to find a way to get to know Calix.

*****

Aster's near-flawless performance was met with applause from the panel of judges, even Calix. Hazel's enthusiasm radiated from her energetic visage.

"Thank you. Keep an eye out in your inbox, we’ll send you your results there."

Aster bowed and left the room hastily. His whole body was shaking, after holding back his nerves for so long.

Am I crazy? Why did I sing what he sang during his presentation?

Aster sat down on the chair, panting to catch his breath.

Even now, he has a female posse. He’s always surrounded by girls. I don’t stand a chance.

Aster centred himself and mustered all the conviction inside him

"I’m over him. I’ll just be friends with him. I got this." Aster muttered proudly to himself.

I'll just compose myself for a bit longer and then take my leave.

Just as he finished that thought, the door opened halfway to reveal Calix standing there with his standard expressionless face, holding Aster's guitar by its neck in one hand. The black polo tee that Calix wore exemplified his pale, well-toned arms, and his veins were visible as his hand maintained an iron, yet somehow gentle grip on the guitar's neck.

"You left your guitar on the chair."

The sight alone was enough to fuel Aster's fantasies for eternity, and it left him beyond flustered. His face turned cherry red for the umpteenth time, and he struggled to even utter a word.

"Sorry."

That was the best Aster could come up with. Calix handed him the guitar, allowing Aster the opportunity to take an even closer look at his lower arm. Aster tried to divert his gaze, as he knew that his body was already warming up to a higher temperature than it should be. 

"No worries. See you soon."

Akin to his previous encounter with Calix, Aster could feel his heartbeat pounding rapidly.

Welp, I now know for a fact that I'm not over him at all!