How the hell am I going to get myself out of this one?

My mind reeled. Clenching my fists at my sides, I drew in a deep, steadying breath. I had bullshitted my way into this mess, and by God, I would bullshit my way out of it too.

“I, uh…” I made a wiggly motion with my fingers, hoping it looked cool and mysterious. “I’m actually an extremely powerful Psychomancer.”

“That’s not possible,” Lucian sneered. “Even the most formidable Psychomancers can’t see into another person’s memories without the use of a scrying pool or some kind of ritual.”

“Well then, I guess I’m beyond formidable! Formidable-er, one could say!” I puffed out my chest. “I can see into your mind right now and tell you all sorts of things about your past.”

As long as I’ve read them in an Owen Thorn book, anyway.

Lucian stuck up his nose. “I don’t believe you.”

“Then try me, bitch!” I thrust my hands toward him. “Gimme me your head!”

“Excuse me?” Lucian gasped, stumbling back.

“I said…”

I began miming a squeezing gesture that, by the looks of it, absolutely scandalized Lucian.

“...gimme your head!”

Lucian’s gaze bore into me for twenty-three seconds that felt like twenty-three hours as the gears turned inside his head. Then, with a slow, wary movement, he leaned forward. My hands clasped either side of his face, squishing his cheeks together until he looked like a disgruntled fish.

“BraaAAAAAAACE yooooOOOOOurseeeeeeEEEEElf,” I cried, my inflection rising and falling dramatically.

I shook his head hard, up and down, side to side, like his skull was a maraca.

Lucian’s eyes bulged as his hair whipped around his face. “What the hell are you—”

“Focus!” I yelled, giving his head an extra vigorous shake. “Your mind is an open book to me!”

Lucian’s eyes, wide and lost, were as round as bowling balls. Then, as if a switch had been flipped, his lip curled into a sneer. Just as he seemed on the brink of wrenching himself from my grip, I leaned in, dropping my voice to a breathy, mystical whisper.

“You were raised in a lineage of pure elvish blood, a legacy that has always cast you in opposition to humans. Your family’s belief in elven superiority shaped your entire existence. But that all came crashing down in your first year at school, when Owen Thorn bested you in a duel. Your family was ashamed of your loss to a human. They called you failure, a disgrace to your bloodline. You’ve hated him ever since. But even deeper than that, you’re cruel to him because you’re afraid you’ll never become even a fraction of who Owen Thorn is—”

Lucian stumbled back, and his breath came fast and hard. “I think that’s quite enough.”

The irony was that I’d just word-for-word quoted a character analysis of Lucian that I’d posted on my Lucian hate account while in a fight with one of his fans.

I smirked, crossing my arms. “So, do you believe me now?”

Lucian stared back at me, looking rather ruffled. Literally. His hair was a mess from all the shaking.

“Yes, yes, of course I believe you.” He frowned as his dark brows pulled together. “Though, from the way you were talking, it made me sound like some sort of villain.”

Because you were literally written as one, you thick-headed asshole.

That expression was back on Lucian’s face, the one where it felt like he was mentally dissecting me. But this time, it was as if he’d tossed aside an old theory and was rapidly constructing a new one.

What truly unsettled me was the gleam in his eyes, as if I’d previously been nothing but trash for him to discard, but now…

Now he was looking at me like he’d just found a winning lottery ticket.

“I’ve never met someone this gifted in the sight before,” Lucian said with a smile that belonged on a venomous snake. “You might be one of the most talented Psychomancers I’ve ever met.”

It hit me then what it was all about. Lucian now genuinely believed I was super powerful.

This was bad for four distinct reasons:

1. Being powerful made me useful. And being useful to a person like Lucian Darkona was definitely not a good thing.

2. Lucian probably wanted to use my powers for some sort of evil scheme.

3. I had no powers at all.

4. If Lucian found out I had no powers, he’d realize I was lying. And if he realized I was lying, he might discover that he was a character in a book. And if he discovered he was a character in a book, who knew if it would create a paradox and accidentally tear a hole in the universe or something?

So, in summary, I was royally fucked.

“You know,” Lucian began, his eyes glistening like a wolf closing in on an unsuspecting bunny. “Some say not to brag, but clearly, those tossers are losers with absolutely no talent whatsoever. Which is why I won’t do myself the disservice of false modesty…”

“Is there a point to this?” My eyes narrowed. “Or do you just get off to stroking your own ego?”

“Well, there’s a lot to stroke,” Lucian replied with a smirk. “After all, my ego is very large.”

“You know what they say. Big ego…” My gaze fell pointedly to his crotch, “little amigo.”

Lucian’s smile twitched. “Well, the point—”

“All crown, little scepter,” I continued. “All swagger, no dagger. Full of steam, short on the beam—”

“The point,” Lucian interrupted loudly, “is that I am the greatest Alchemancer of my year at Draconia Academy. No, scratch that. The greatest Alchemancer at Draconia Academy ever.”

Yeah, large ego indeed.

“And when an Alchemancer and a Psychomancer join forces,” Lucian continued, “they can create a form of magic more powerful than most can imagine. I’ve always been curious to try, but I’ve never encountered a Psychomancer at my level—until now. Which is why, despite your unfortunate status as a lowly human…”

His smirk deepened as he extended a hand. “I’m offering you the rare, coveted, and extremely exclusive chance to be my friend.”

A beat of silence followed.

“Hard pass,” I said flatly.

Lucian had the nerve to actually gasp at that.

“Don’t…don’t be daft,” he sputtered. “This is the opportunity of a lifetime. You would be a fool to turn it down.”

He huffed so hard that it blew strands of dark hair from his eyes. Then he crossed his arms as he looked away. “Also, you don’t know anyone else.”

Heartbreaking: The worst person I knew just made an excellent point. I did have literally negative luck in the friendship department.

But I couldn’t imagine anything worse than being friends with Lucian Darkona—especially considering that the villainous grin plastered to his face meant he was obviously plotting something.

However, at that moment, a saying popped into my head: Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. If it truly was the beginning of the seventh book, then that was the year Lucian would be lured in by the Great Darkness and eventually merge with it.

But if I somehow did befriend this dickhead, maybe I could change things, and then...

My eyes went wide.

Holy shit! I could stop him from killing Owen Thorn.

I’d watched Owen die over, and over, and over again, helpless to do a thing. But we were no longer separated by paper or a screen. I could actually save him! I’d let Lucian think he was playing me, and all the while, I would be the one playing him.

“You know what, fuck it!” I said, reaching out to take his hand. “I’ll be your friend.”

Lucian offered me a predatory smile. “Great.”

I returned the smile with an even more predatory smile. “Really great.”

We shook hands, both looking like we planned to eat the other for lunch. It was a game of cat and mouse with the cat having no idea he was really chasing after a viper.

Maybe a bit of Lucian’s ego had rubbed off on me because in that moment I thought, Wow, I am a total genius.

“Brilliant!” Lucian said, giving my hand yet another hearty shake. “What an advantageous friendship we shall have.”

I grimaced. “You don’t need to phrase it like that. It’s a friendship, not a business deal. You’re making it weird, man.”

“Right, of course.” Lucian’s smile twitched again. “I look forward to getting to know you better…uh…”

He stared helplessly back at me.

“Holy shit,” I gasped. “All this time and you didn’t ask me my name once.”

“I was working toward it,” Lucian said. “So…”

I arched a brow. “So?”

“So spit it out!” Lucian snapped. “What is it?”

“Niko Price,” I said, before pointedly adding, “dickhead.”

Lucian clapped his hands together. “Ah, so we’re already using nicknames with each other? How fun!”

I rolled my eyes. “It’s not a nickname, I’m insulting you—”

Lucian’s head fell back as he let out an obnoxious fake laugh. A chortle, if you will.

“Ha ha! I see we are already close enough to joke-insult each other. This friendship really is moving fast. I find your jest very entertaining, Nemo Price.” He swung an arm around my shoulder, yanking me against him. “I look forward to our prosperous friendship.”

“It’s Niko,” I muttered. “And you’re still making this sound like a business deal.”

Lucian’s gaze flickered to the sky, where pink and scarlet streaks were coloring the horizon. “Bollocks. If we don’t leave this instant, we’re going to miss the opening ceremonies.”

Opening ceremonies? That means this must be the first day of the new school year.

“Come now. Chop-chop. Move those spindly legs.” Lucian grabbed my arm, tugging me after him. “I prefer my friends to be punctual.”

I made sure to snatch my ‘I Love Owen’ pen from the ground as Lucian dragged me past it. After all, that was an exclusive, collector’s-edition item! No way was I leaving that behind.

Heart pounding, I tried not to shudder as we made our way past the Child Snatcher. Its branches twitched, sensing our movement.

“Just keep walking,” Lucian whispered. “As long as it doesn’t notice us, we’re fine—”

A sudden, thunderous snap echoed through the air as my foot came down hard on a twig. The Child Snatcher’s bright pink eyes snapped open and locked on us.

The tree was apparently still holding a bit of a grudge from earlier because it released a deep, guttural growl. Its twisted branches swept out, flying toward us like a living storm of wood and leaves.

“Ugh,” Lucian muttered as we broke into a sprint. “What the hell, Nemo?”

“It was an accident!” I called back, boots pounding against the grass. “And it’s Niko!”

We surged forward as the branches hurtled overhead. I gritted my teeth, urging my legs to move faster, faster, faster. As my pulse hammered, we twisted and ducked, narrowly escaping the grasping wooden tendrils.

Up ahead, I could make out the shape of a familiar oak tree surrounded by a thicket of thorny bushes. That oak tree was the very thing the Child Snatcher had been planted there to protect. If we could make it there, we’d be safe.

We continued to run while the wooden tendrils lashed at our heels.

“You’re slowing us down!” Lucian snapped, holding my arm in a death-grip as he spun us away from an incoming branch. “You need to go faster!”

“I’m trying!” I gasped, ducking beneath a limb before it smashed through my skull. “I normally sit around reading fanfic all day, so forgive me if I’m a little out of shape.”

“Fan-what?”

“Forget it,” I panted, shaking my head. “And if I’m slowing you down so much, just forget me and go ahead!”

The branches came swinging down after us, showering me and Lucian in a cascade of leaves and twigs.

“I’m not going to do that,” Lucian snapped as we charged forward, zig-zagging through the murderous boughs.

My pulse roared in my ears. “Why not?”

“Because,” Lucian growled, muscles coiling as he yanked me along in a desperate, reckless leap, “you’re my friend now.”

We crashed into the dense thicket of bushes, sending twigs, thorns, and Lucian’s left elbow jabbing into me.

The Child Snatcher recoiled with a sudden shudder, as if it had hit an invisible shield. Its branches went slack, reluctantly slithering back to the base of the tree like depressed, dejected serpents.

While gasping to catch my breath, I finally got a good look at the massive oak looming over us. To anyone else, the tree would’ve looked perfectly ordinary.

That was the point.

With Draconia Academy housing the most powerful young mages in the world, it was constantly at risk for attacks. That was why the only way to guarantee the students’ protection had been to hide the school away and hide it well.

Lucian stepped before the oak and reached for a specific branch, the motion mindless and casual, as if he’d done it a hundred times before.

The bark groaned as he yanked it downward. From beneath the tree came a deep, mechanical hum. Then, with a creak, the trunk split down the middle and parted, revealing the circular wooden elevator nestled within the hollow.

Without missing a beat, Lucian strode inside. I stared at the elevator, wide-eyed, in awe.

“Are you going to just stand there looking as ridiculous as a gnome in a leotard, or are you going to get in?” Lucian snapped.

“What is with you and these weird gnome metaphors?” I asked, bounding after him. “And why do they always make literally zero sense?”

The bark closed behind us the moment I stepped into the elevator, encasing us within the heart of the ancient oak. The rumble that followed reverberated through the wooden walls. The elevator’s movement was accompanied by the creak of ancient wood and the faint hum of machinery concealed within the tree’s trunk.

As we descended, the reality of what was actually happening hit me like a freight train. Excitement overtook every nerve ending in my body. My heart swelled until I thought it might burst like a balloon.

Because that elevator was carrying me to the place of my dreams: Draconia-freaking-Academy.